Discuss My Experience (real ddlg)

[Luckybrat]

I am a little who had experienced ignorance from biological father and sought for father figure online. The unlucky thing is I haven't got every support I wanted. Good things is, besides A major one, I got the rest. 

call me mean or something but I will continue till I finally get it either from him or someone else. 

x means me  d means him 

 

u just want to get spoiled so u feel like im investing in u.. i understand that.. but i want u to be able to take care of urself and put u in a position where u can choose to stay or leave me as u like.. that is real love ok?

 

after feeling real emotion with him. I am thinking about something offline and I am asking for finance support.

 

d:

Ok. Look i will give u food.. place to live and it includes taking u to places and occasionally giving u gifts. But it will be much less than what u want. So u better work

 

x:

Well u rather see me do jobs I hate?

 

d:

Im going to work with u to find something u are good at

U are not even listening to me to study. U are preventing me to even see what u can do

Ok i will give u one more chance to say something. I will answer once and then we stop talking about this for awhile

 

Ok. I will say this. If i fail to make u more capable of earning money we can talk about this more

 

d:

I understand. Im sorry. Unfortunately.. giving u everything u want is not as good as u think it is

 

Having need and hunger and desire is part of having a good life. I know u dont understand that

If u get exactly what u wished for that is just as bad as not getting anything at all

Please just wait... Lets see how study goes and we can talk about this again. I need you to have some hunger

So u cant have everything right now.. u will be bored soon and ask for more but still not truly happy

 

x:

Maybe U are right

But how can I know u love me a truly

 

d:

Just please wait. Listen to me. I promise i love u, i want to change ur thinking just slightly so u can be happy

 

So, trust me, u have to change in a few ways in order to feel better

So u cant expect to feel better unless u change some ways of thinking to more positive way.

 

Ok. Well we can try to deal with that but that problem slows down ur recovery

The problem is something to overcome.. not to think too much about

Just please. For the love of fucking god, can u just study more and stop worrying?

 

If u complain this much instead of stufy of course u will fail

So when i tell u to stop complaining and work a bit more. You just have to accept.

There is not other way to say it. If u dont study u will be a failure

 

d:

u just want to get spoiled so u feel like im investing in u.. i understand that.. but i want u to be able to take care of urself and put u in a position where u can choose to stay or leave me as u like.. that is real love ok?

 

 

 

I still think if he wouldn't do this, he is not truly serious love me and I cant trust him fully.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

x:

what is love

 

d:

Just... Love is like this.. love is like u care about someone else like they are a part of u

 

x:

then I don't think I love anyone 

 

d: 

So instead of trying to be burden to someone just so they can prove their love.. u want them to feel good and u know they will make u feel good too

 

x: maybe at some moments I have 

 

d:

Its like ur left hand doesnt need to be a burden to ur right hand

Ok. U are emotional up and down that is ok

But anyways.. u have anger and guilt and so on

 

Part of u dislikes ur parents for not being there for u in alot of ways.. but other parts feel like they do sometimes help u. So u feel guilty u are burden

U feel conflict and that conflict causes anxiety that u can not easily solve

U are right that they neglect u.. so that part is right. U are right that u should try to act better so u are less gulty. But u dont know the right balance

U rather leave ur home and not worry or think about that balance anymore. And that is understandable

 

x:

I want you to be my parent

 

d:

Ok I'm working on it.

d:

U dont understand how complexly im thinking about u

The problem is this.. let me be completely clear with u

Here is what i need to do.

 

1) i need to help u figure out something u can be successful at. This will take a lot of time. Not just because of u, but lots of people need a lot of time to find out what they like enough to work at

2) i need to take care of ur emotional problems. U need alot of attention and care and i can do that. But the other problem is.. u might feel something on one day but feel different the next day. So i have to be a little bit flexible with my approach too. Im not breaking promise or being inconsistent.. u are also inconsistent due to emotions so i have to keep adjusting. The goal is to get u normal.. it doesnt matter how i do it

3) your overall stress and anxiety. U worry too much but the problem is u get stuck on things that are hard to solve. So u have to create a fuller more balanced life so u can ignore unsolvable problems but still be disciplined enough to follow up

 

x:  daddy, why do you love me

 

d:

Ok. So while im doing all of these things..i also have to teach u better manners and so u can deal with people in a better way. But if i dont help ur emotional state and discipline.. u are not ready to play well with other people. So on one hand i say they goal is for u to meet other people.. but for right now i say.. u are not ready yet. So this is also complex.. i dont want u to think im creating u only to listen to me

 

U have some good heart and u have a lovable spirit inside u. But just u are too sensitive and emotional but outside just looks like angry and bratty but its not. So i understand u totally.. i love u and i feel connected because i can read u so well

 

Ok so if u understand everything i wrote. U will understand 99% of future issues we will need to deal with

 

 

I really appreciate meeting him because he did most jobs of a real dad does. But the financial support stuff is something I wouldn't overcome. I am kind of stuck on this problem. besides that, I feel way better than before in most aspects. 

 

 

 

[beanbean]

I never thought of it like that way but I suppose it could be like that sometimes the sub could get all the way . I always thought of taking care of her emotional needs and keeping her happy mentally and physically 

[Vampiress]

I think your partner is not being unreasonable. He wants you to be independent of him so that if you are ever unhappy you have the freedom to leave and still support yourself. That's a very unselfish thing of him to do. There are partners out there who would definitely take advantage and want to keep you trapped. I think you should take him more seriously and really listen to what he's trying to say. He's doing you a massive favor, he isn't trying to hurt you.

[Little kaiya]

Asking someone to be 100% financially responsible for you sets up a potentially risky situation. I think someone wanting their partner to be capable if being independent is very caring and not at all unreasonable.