Mental illness within the relationship?

[imhispsycho]

Warning: This post mentions rape. Please read at your own risk.

 

Hey I'm sydney fairly new to the site. I'm in my second ddlg relationship while this is my daddy's first. He is also new to a relationship with a girl with mental illness.

I was raped for about 4 years when I was young. I have PTSD, ODD, bipolar 2, severe anxiety and an attachment disorder. I freak out during sex and don't always finish and I feel I'm upsetting him. I want to be his perfect little girl. I work so hard, I do everything I can to be a good girl.

Basically does anyone else share issues with mental illness making their relationship complicated.

[Guest Ginger-Kit]

I don't personally have PTSD, but my big brother (boyfriend) does. We just have to be careful in certain situations and stuff. I occasionally have flash backs of my uncle from when I was little, but... yeah. We just try to be careful and avoid situations that might agrivate a condition. The best thing to do is just talk to him though. If he's aware of what happened to you, and he's understanding, I wouldn't worry too terribly much.

I know whenever he's freaking out about something (say I woke him up wrong or I leave his sight while we're in a big store accidentally), we just stop and he tries to calm back down. He'll be pretty aggrivated, sure, but I don't take it personally. He can't really control when something causes a flashback, but we try to avoid fireworks or gun shoots, obvious things that'll trigger him. For me, he just has to go slow and he knows certain positions or phrasings cause me to flip out and I go catatonic almost, so we avoid them.

 

Like I said, maybe just talk to him if he doesn't already know all of this. I'm sure he'll be understanding of it

[Guest Miss Braid]

It's best to try to calmly talk about/ coach him through potential issues or triggers you may face before hand. It's difficult to explain when it's happening and you are becoming very emotional

[imhispsycho]

Thank you both...

[LittleVenom]

I have ptsd too....was diagnosed bipolar but I am fairly sure that was misdiagnosed or just related to so much ongoing trauma and chronic stress. 

 

I am always straight out with what is going on with me. Communication is so important I think for these things. I have had ex partners and family members with mental health issues 

and what makes it worse is hiding it, denying it, blaming someone or something else....

 

So I have made a point to thoroughly understand my own self. I write. A lot. It is the thing that helps me the most. When everything gets translated into words I can just see it a lot more clearer. Also I sometimes explain things

to my significant others by using the third person. For example, 'Babygirl was just scared, and she didn't mean to run away...'. I don't know why but this helps! 

 

But yeah, one thing I just can't shake is being too much for daddy (or anyone else for that matter). The guilt is immense. I need a lot of reassurance. Most men would not be able to deal with this, that is why I need someone so dominant, caring and strong like a good daddy dom. I really think that is part of the attraction towards these type of relationships. I need the man to be completely comfortable with a woman that needs so much care and guidance. 

 

So I think you will find that people like us are strongly represented in this scene. Which is great because other little's make really good, understanding and supportive friends :-)  

 

I am only new here too and already I have found this to be true on these boards. So I hope you also stay around and let others know if you need help too. xx

[Guest LittlePeachCake]

Yes - I'm BP2 and my anxiety is pretty up there too. I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you in the past. I'll send you a friend request, can't reply properly as it's time to get ready for work. Grrr. 

 

Hang in, sometimes it takes times to adjust to a new partner sexually.

 

xo

[Guest lil-kitten22]

Hi!

I partly understand what you're going through; I can't say fully since we are all our own people.

I suffer from PTSD, acute and generalized anxiety, major depression, bipolar, seizures, Lupus (always being sick), and insomnia.

I was molested by my older brothers when I was younger, since then I have been molested over 40 times as well as have been raped within this last year. I have problems with preforming sexual actions, even kissing more then just a peck.  Daddy has been working with me for a couple months for me be able to kiss him real, to touch him, or to even try to give him a bj. He always had to watch for how bad I was shaking, he knew that a small amount was to be expected, but anything major he would stop me with what I was doing, kiss my head and tell me I'm a good girl for trying.

You just have to sit down with your partner and explain that things are hard for you, that you need him to be patient with you and wait until you let him know you are ready for that action.

If he really cares for you he will do his best. 

Also when trying to do things you aren't the most comfortable with doing let him know what signs he needs to look for in you since there is a posibiliy you will freeze up and no be able to safe-word.

 

Hope this helps!

[Guest LittlePeachCake]

Hi again,

 

So sorry for the very rushed reply before. You've been through some unbearable things I haven't, so I can't speak to that, but my bipolar and anxiety do interfere with my sex life. I've also felt like I've let partners down before and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. And then you feel worse. Etc. Always happy to chat if that would help at all. 

 

Love (to all) from Sydney xoxo

[stargirl]

Hey, I sent you a friend request. I'd like to to talk about this privately, if you're comfortable with that.