Coming out about being little

[Sprinkles_n_Stuff]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight weeks now and he's really starting to show signs of being a good daddy. The problem is, he doesn't know I'm little. He's only ever seen bits and pieces of my littleness (coloring books I forgot to put away, my love of Disney, my stuffies). What's the best way to tell him???

 

Also, on this note, how about telling parents? I've been little for quite some time now and I feel like they should know. I'm just afraid to tell them.

 

Please help me!

[Princess-P]

For your boyfriend, just keep doing what your doing. Don't hide who you are but 8 weeks remember is not very long. Its completely up to preference but I personally don't think after a short time you need to jump into DDlg. Your still getting to know eacother on a deeper level. But again that's up to you.

 

HOW you go about it is as simple as both being adults and you just tell him this is who you are. DO NOT ask him to research the internet. DDlg is such a huuuuuge dynamic and it will be overwhelming. Instead tell him what you enjoy about the lifestyle and goals you want to have for your relationship.

 

As for your parents... I honestly have no idea why you would want to involve them in this. Having a discussion about BDSM lifestyles is going to be uncomfortable for most parents to hear from their child. This just goes back to many discussions I've seen about keeping your kink to yourself. Unless this us something they are very open to and you discuss this topic regularly there's no need to have a talk with them at all. They know who you are, they know what your like, and they love you for it all so does a label really matter?

[caithes]

If your boyfriend has seen the coloring books, stuffies, and Disney that's around and hasn't commented on it yet, it is a good sign. But that doesn't mean you jump and tell him everything. Think about keeping some of those little things out when he is around you. You don't have to point things out or shove it in his face, but if he's perceptive, he's already noticed that you have some things that are little-ish, and he hasn't left you after eight weeks. Good signs.

 

Just don't rush.

 

As for your parents, probably not. It really depends on your relationship with your parents, but for 99% of the people in the world, it's probably not the right time for the conversation.

[ANewDragon]

I have to agree to what the other 2 have said. 8 weeks is not a long time, and making sure that you are ready to open your most vulnerable part of you up to him should take time. Allow him to see a little more of the little things you have just around the house, Do not hide it, put I agree with caithes, do not shove it in his face. He will either decide to talk to you, leave or just wait till you are ready to talk to him about it.

 

Definitely do not have him go research it on his own, I stumbled on this Dynamic recently and I was overwhelmed for many days about what it means to be a daddy, I know from what I want out of a relationship, that I am a caregiver and will do well once I have a little of my own, But it has taken many days for me to understand the Dynamic and that was with talking to people from this forum.

 

I would not recommend telling your parents. Having that conversation about being BDSM, does not go over well for most people, Most people have a point of view that BDSM is all about the whips and chains, Degradation of one of the partners, namely the woman. Honestly there is a lot more to most BDSM dynamics than that, but people are ignorant to what they do not understand.

[Guest buddhagirl]

This is a hard question (about the new boyfriend) because every relationship is different because every person is different. You don't want to wait too long to open up the conversation because you don't want to waste everyone's time if he's a straight up NO on the subject. But you don't want to overwhelm or scare him off, either. I think I would just bring it up casually..."It's so nice that you don't mind that I color and have stuffed animals. I know that's a bit unusual, but I enjoy expressing the little girl side of myself. How do you feel about it?" Just things like that to start a conversation about the things in the dynamic that you like and would like to incorporate into your relationship.

 

As for telling your parents, there no reason to tell them anything. I have been involved in BDSM and DDlg for almost 30 years (yes, I started YOUNG), and there has never been any reason to share with my parents. I did tell them I was bisexual when I was 18 because I was in a serious relationship with a woman and wanted to include her in our family events, etc., but that made sense and they needed to know. My parents (as well as everyone I know) knows that I enjoy some "childish" things and that I can be very playful--I don't hide my little side--but they don't want or need to know any more than that. 

 

I have teen children and if they wanted to tell me about their sexual proclivities I would be fine with that--but it certainly isn't necessary. 

[LolitasDaddy]

I disagree with the others above. I'd start talking to him now. I see no reason to get deep into a relationship where you will drop the potential bombshell of being a little.

 

As far as your parents, I surely wouldn't. Be yourself. Do things that might seem "juvenile" to them. But, don't spell it out to them unless you are ready to be judged for it.

[Guest DaddysLolita]

If you're wanting a DD / lg relationship with him and he's already seen some of these things..I'd ease him into the conversation. I agree with Buddhagirls idea.. Give him time to think about, don't rush it. If he responds well, talk more in depth. If he doesn't....what happens next would be up to you.

As for your parents. I think it depends on comfort and your relationship. For example, I haven't told either of my parents I'm little...but...my mom watches me color sometimes (sometimes with me), she knows I frequent build a bear and sometimes goes, she's gone with me on little clothes shopping trips and thinks it's funny, she says things like I'll never grow up or I'm experiencing a second child hood. My dad buys me stuffies....so...I don't bother explaining why to them. This is just how I am and they don't question it.

That stuff is fine, but I wouldn't talk to them about what I like in the bedroom. Awkward.

<3

[lilvioletcub]

I agree with what most have said here. 8 weeks is not a long time and usually a relationship isn't cemented till seven MONTHS and then some. I just checked out your age and honestly I don't understand what is so "coming out" about things you like. Sure sippy cups and pacifires I would see as something kinda big to disscuss but disney? coloring? stuffies? I'm 24 I love disney, I'm an artist so I color and even my mom has taken up those Adult coloring books, and I've slept with a stuffed animal since forever. Honestly with being little or childish you just have to own that that is part of who you are.

yes its going to be nerve racking but he'll eaither love you for you or he won't the things you mentioned are actually normal for people to have around these days yes even the stuffed animals.  I think you should wait at least a month before bringing it up to him, wait let the relationship develop normally, ALL RELATIONSHIPS START VANILLA. you need a foundation before you dive into kink.

 

As for your parents why would you want to talk to them about kink? My parents know I like My little pony, that I need a sticker chart to keep myself visually self motivated, that I love plushies like tsum tsum's all of that is apart of who I am and they don't know the rest of it becuse you wouldn't talk to your parents about your sex life so why this?

[Guest littlemissragamuffin]

As for your parents, that really depends on how close you are with them. I see alot of people saying not to telk them and asking why you'd want to talk about kink with them. Which just because you say "Hey, Mom, Dad, I'm into BDSM(DDLG)" Doesn't mean you have to give them details about it. I told my parents that I was into BDSM(a long time ago when I was like 13) I didn't want them thinking I was being abused becaus of marks or bruses, or because of comments/situations they wouldn't understand. It was easy, I told them I liked BDSM and if they didn't want sexal details not to ask about things. Or to understand when I said they didn't want to know, they really didn't want to know.

[Guest Jennyanydots]

I would let the boyfriend know, but don't pounce on him with the info either. If you want a Daddy to take his time with you, take your  time with Daddy too. Be open about who you are, let him see your childish side. Ask him to color with you. Tell him the names of your stuffies. Wear your cutest clothes around him. When he seems to be comfortable with all of your quirks you can begin explaining the lifestyle to him. Start small, telling him about how you sometimes like to let the child within you loose and how glad you are that he's so good at taking care of you. Give him time to get used to things, then let him know what you really would like from the relationship, including talking to him about the lifestyle, when you feel it is appropriate.

 

I would NEVER tell my parents about my sexuality. Unless it's something that is going to be visible, it's best that parents don't know about their childrens' sex lives. I mean, if you are gay or poly and your parents are going to see your partners, then they need to know and be aided in understanding it. But unless you expect your Daddy to be sitting you on his lap and sticking a binky in your mouth or walking you on a leash with kitty ears on in front of mom and dad, there's no reason to come out about it to them. It's fine for your BDSM relationships to be something secret between you and your partners, and it's fine that others don't be let in on the lifestyle choice. Let people draw their conclusions about you at their will, but don't even answer them if they ask you about it. If you aren't having sex with them, it isn't their business (that's just my opinion; others like to brag). Now, if you are going to enter into soemthing that might be dangerous, I advise telling someone where you are going to be, who you will be with, and how long you expect to be there - just in case you don't show back up in time and it becomes necessary to call the cops. Otherwise, your sexuallity is no one's business but yours and your partners'. 

[Guest Jennyanydots]

Forgive me, I talked a lot about sexuality and I don't mean to reduce DD/lg lifestyle to sex. It absolutely is not. However, the same rules apply. When it comes to BDSM people will relate it to sex every time (if they aren't a part of the lifestyle). Sir and I have a very unique dynamic that isn't quite DD/lg, and I am forbidden from talking about it, but regardless, I would NEVER talk about little-me with anyone aside from Sir or other littles I meet online or with his permission (because I have left that decision up to him). Even if I hadn't left the decision to him, I would never, never, never talk to my parents about my lifestyle. It's something sacred to me and I would never ever share it with someone who could not show it the respect it deserves. I consider it a part of my sexuality and my sex is only for me. That is only me and I am not at all judging what others do or recommend. Just food for thought.

[MakeMeYoursDaddy]

I've been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, I've dropped hints all that time but I was always so afraid to tell him that I was a little. When, I was much younger I was put in a mental institution for telling my therapist about it. I've always felt it was so wrong to feel this way. I've silently lurked on ddlg websites for going on 5 years now. I've kept it my dirty little secret for so long. My boyfriend just recently got promoted to daddy dom He was so accepting and he's asked me so much about the ddlg side that I like. Everyone here is right, some parts of ddlg I'm not that into. You must talk to your Daddy and tell them what you like and don't like. If you leave it up to him, he will be so lost in the information. Just like you want your Daddy to guide you, you have to guide him on how to make his little happy. Be patient little one, this lifestyle isn't always accepted among the vanillas but I feel like your relationship will blossom into a beautiful ddlg relationship, you just must have patience and trust (but maybe don't wait 7 years to tell him, my Daddy was pretty upset that I took this long ) lots of love to you little one

 

 

PS, I would refrain from telling the parents. I mean depending on the relationship you have - most don't take it well.