I hurt my best friend, my Angel. Need some advice please?

[Guest Fae ME]

I have a childhood friend. He be there for me since I was 3 years old.

He is British and I am from India. At my society, many people tried to break our friendship, but everyone failed. 

However, on 2021, after 31 years of our friendship, someone got successful to create misconceptions between us. 

I thought he supported those who insulted me. Whereas he thought that I disobeyed him. 

For several times, he said that I am unable to hear him & hearing everyone else except him.

I knew that he is a little jealous, but today when he heard that I am unwell, then his care make me well. 

The problem is:

He is not happy without me. He jealous, selfish, capricious, want power & attention from me no matter what he does, but he is kind & caring. He make me feel safe & protected.

I support & love his this nature. No complaints against him.

I hurt my best friend, my Angel. 

I don't know how to make this friendship better as it was before 2021. 

Can anyone advice me what can I do to make this friendship better? 

I need friends, but no one else can take his place in my life. Any advice please? 

How can I get his forgiveness? Please advice me?

Edited April 2, 2023 by Faerie Tikli

[beanbean]

I would say just talk to him and tell him how you feel and see if it can be fixed

[Guest Fae ME]

Yes, I think you are right. 

Definitely it will be fixed. He is just waiting for me to talk. 

I wish if he dared to tell me about his nature earlier, then definitely we wouldn't be alone these 2 years. 

Even when last year, I went to London, he noticed that I am not smiling and he tried to make me smile in many ways. 

I wish he forgive me. He don't punish with stuffs, but changes life with swing of decision.