How to set up a cgl scene

[Taggy]

Hi all, I'm kind of new to being a caregiver and I notice that I'm struggling to set up a setting in which my princess can be a little.
In our dynamic I'm submissive and she's dominant. Also while she is in little space. So when we play I'm her butler and I'll serve her needs. Since I'm new to this I find it very though to set up a good setting for her to be little. Most times we play she stays in a more femdom/ middle mindspace, which is great but I know she craves little space and I would love to provide her with that. But whenever we are playing I notice that I kind of freeze a bit and not really sure what to do anymore to be a good caregiver and provide her little space.

So how do you caregivers set up a scene? What do you do to get your little in little space? What kind of things do you say to her to get her in the mood?

[Little kaiya]

My Daddy and I don't do set scenes as being little is a natural part of who I am. For us He just creates a warm, safe space where I can relax and be myself.

[Taggy]

20 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

My Daddy and I don't do set scenes as being little is a natural part of who I am. For us He just creates a warm, safe space where I can relax and be myself.

Thanks! But how does does your Daddy creates a warm safe space where you can relax and feel little?

[Cebakes]

I think it’s hard to set up, it just needs to happen. It’s not something you talk about or want to put pressure on to happen.  From what I’ve seen, silliness, laughter, making your partner feel safe, protected, carefree, throw in some leg rubs, head pats,  words of praise and affection.

 Your actions over a period of time will make this easier each time. Trust plays a big role in all this.  Of course you can try to set the mood for the environment where you want your partner to fall into little space,  but it’s not like flipping a light switch.  You need to understand your little/middles past history, boundaries, needs, wants, desires, trauma, issues in their life, etc.  Of course, love and affection can play a role in this.

The dynamics of your relationship, are something that I have not personally experienced but I am trying to put myself in your shoes.  Being a caregiver should come natural and you should become more comfortable as you gain experience or get older, unless being a caregiver is truly not something you enjoy.  I see you are 35.  You should have the life and work experiences to be a good caregiver if you truly have those desires and innate traits. 

 There is a fair amount of info on caregivers in DDLG on the internet.  Have you done much research on being a good caregiver?  

[Little kaiya]

5 hours ago, Taggy said:

Thanks! But how does does your Daddy creates a warm safe space where you can relax and feel little?

There's nothing specific really, it's just Him reading my mood. Sometimes it may be cuddling, Sometimes a story or placing a stuffie in my arms. It really is about actions that stem from our unconditional love for one another. It will be very different for each person and each couple.

[Taggy]

On 4/2/2023 at 12:48 PM, Cebakes said:

I think it’s hard to set up, it just needs to happen. It’s not something you talk about or want to put pressure on to happen.  From what I’ve seen, silliness, laughter, making your partner feel safe, protected, carefree, throw in some leg rubs, head pats,  words of praise and affection.

 Your actions over a period of time will make this easier each time. Trust plays a big role in all this.  Of course you can try to set the mood for the environment where you want your partner to fall into little space,  but it’s not like flipping a light switch.  You need to understand your little/middles past history, boundaries, needs, wants, desires, trauma, issues in their life, etc.  Of course, love and affection can play a role in this.

The dynamics of your relationship, are something that I have not personally experienced but I am trying to put myself in your shoes.  Being a caregiver should come natural and you should become more comfortable as you gain experience or get older, unless being a caregiver is truly not something you enjoy.  I see you are 35.  You should have the life and work experiences to be a good caregiver if you truly have those desires and innate traits. 

 There is a fair amount of info on caregivers in DDLG on the internet.  Have you done much research on being a good caregiver?  

Thanks Yeah I'm doing a lot of research on how to set up a safe setting. I'm just not really sure if I'm good at it. Last time she was a little for me is a long time ago, while she does little for her other Daddies. I guess I'm not really good at it. But I just keep learning and hopefully it will one day work. I do know that I really like caring and helping someone, so maybe it's not really a me problem. Or is it more that being a submissive caregiver just doesn't work as girls generally not love sub guys. Idk. It's just so difficult and we don't meet up frequently enough to get good conversations and try things.

[Guest Runa]

That's a really interesting predicament... I think there are some practical things you could do to help.

Do you have a dedicated area for your time together?  Do you have a routine for when she arrives?

Having a dedicated area that's used for a specific activity can really help the mind go into littlespace.  This can look different for every little depending on their likes and dislikes.  It can be a simple space and doesn't have to cost a lot to set up.  I use a blanket/rug and a little table in the corner of my sitting room.  I have my favourite stuffie and paci to hand.  Colouring books and puzzles on the table.  I play littlespace music on youtube and a baby powder scent - you can find candles, wax melts and sprays with this scent.

Perhaps a routine will help you both move things in the direction you want them to go.  Again, this will be different depending on the little but it could be a bubble bath with toys, picking out an outfit, having a meal prepared in a littlespace way.

It takes time to learn what works for you and your little and things can change over time.  It might be an idea to ask your little what she would find helpful or what you could do that would make her feel small.

I hope that helps in some way!  

[Taggy]

On 4/13/2023 at 9:56 AM, Runagh said:

That's a really interesting predicament... I think there are some practical things you could do to help.

Do you have a dedicated area for your time together?  Do you have a routine for when she arrives?

Having a dedicated area that's used for a specific activity can really help the mind go into littlespace.  This can look different for every little depending on their likes and dislikes.  It can be a simple space and doesn't have to cost a lot to set up.  I use a blanket/rug and a little table in the corner of my sitting room.  I have my favourite stuffie and paci to hand.  Colouring books and puzzles on the table.  I play littlespace music on youtube and a baby powder scent - you can find candles, wax melts and sprays with this scent.

Perhaps a routine will help you both move things in the direction you want them to go.  Again, this will be different depending on the little but it could be a bubble bath with toys, picking out an outfit, having a meal prepared in a littlespace way.

It takes time to learn what works for you and your little and things can change over time.  It might be an idea to ask your little what she would find helpful or what you could do that would make her feel small.

I hope that helps in some way!  

Thanks! This really helps. We do have dedicated time together but not really a routine yet. So I think having a routine will really help getting us both in the setting Definitely worth trying

[Goofy Dad Energy]

This is a really difficult question to answer as I think it varies hugely per person. You will likely have more success asking her what she may need to facilitate a little space for her than asking people who don't know your dynamic.

For us specifically I have very little control over getting her into a specific little space, and when she is it's not always super obvious. So I rarely initiate it I only engage with her when I catch that she's in that space.

 

On 4/12/2023 at 1:39 PM, Taggy said:

Or is it more that being a submissive caregiver just doesn't work as girls generally not love sub guys.

I also want to point out that this is just generally an untrue statement, don't be down on yourself because of who you are!

Edited April 21, 2023 by CCC

[CherryBlossomTea]

Hello! 

I thought I'd chime in as a little who is also a Dominant and used to be in a similar dynamic! Something I did for my submissive CG(who was new to it) was make him a "care guide" for me! It could be a fun activity like setting up paper, stickers, crayons, etc. and help your little make a little booklet or journal and giver her writing prompts for each page(s) like: What are your favourite littlespace foods? What do you like for aftercare? Rules for daddy/CG/little etc. Things you dilike.. etc.! I made mine on my own using "littlespace journal" prompts and added things I thought would be helpful for him to understand my needs as a little.. and I still felt little doing it! 

Edited July 24, 2023 by CherryBlossomTea
Typo

[Saprobic]

Hi CherryBlossomTea 

I love that idea so much! You are even using a scene to help develop future scenes 😊

I may try to use a version of this!

[CherryBlossomTea]

4 hours ago, Saprobic said:

Hi CherryBlossomTea 

I love that idea so much! You are even using a scene to help develop future scenes 😊

I may try to use a version of this!

Hi, Saprobic! 

Yay!! I'm glad my idea inspired you! 😊🌟🌿