Online communication

[Barney048]

Since I've noticed that a lot of topics on here are about some sort of struggle when it comes to online communication, I've decided to do a topic with my thoughts on the matter. Usually when people meet someone online and want to develop a relationship of some sort with them it goes by texting first, then people do phone/video calls and finally they meet up in person. The most important step is always the first one, which is when you exchange messages with the person (this is where you build the foundation). People treat that step like they're trying to sell a product, and then they are butthurt when the person wants to return said "product" since it wasn't as advertised. So the #1 issue is that they act like the person they wish they were or act in a way they think would make them more desirable to others. I'm not judging, I also used to be like that since that gets you a lot more attention. However the relationships you build like that will not be healthy nor long lasting. That's something everyone should reflect on.

Here's some things that annoy me these days:

• *Improper use of emojis: So, emojis are supposed to be there to help others better interpret our intent and what our "tone" is like. I see people who never laugh use 10 "😂" emojis after a sentence. Why is that bad? Because then the person you talk to will see you as a cheerful person who laughs a lot and likes to joke around, and will be attracted to you due to that. Once you start talking on the phone they'll see that you're nothing like that which will cause them to pull back. Then you'll end up being hurt even though your intentions may have been pure and you were being genuine when you spoke. But at the end of the day it's your fault for misrepresenting what you're like.
• *Deleting of sent messages: This is something that really annoys me and it's something I personally would bann. I can't tell you how many times I took out my phone, saw a notification that I have like 30 messages from someone, but by the time I opened it like 20 of those have been deleted. Imo this function was meant for sittuations where you accidently sent a dick pic or something, and you want to erase it. However most people use it to "take back" what they said. You can't take back what you said in real life and you shouldn't be able to do so online either. Think before you click send rather then afterwards, since you won't be able to "delete messages" in real life. 
• *Acting like a saint: There's so many people who act like a saint and try to create a "good image" of themself online. I want to choke those individuals, and not in a fun way 🤷‍♂️ ... If you aren't being genuine better be quiet. It'll do you no good in the long run. it'll just feed your need for attention.

These are just some random thoughts because I'm bored. Just be yourself online and stand behind what you say. Not many people like me. I'm often an ass and rude, but what you see is what you get. I'm probably amongst the people with the least "traffic" on their account, but percentually speaking I have less "returns" than most.

[Harlee-qwinnie]

Dude, you are on point with your opinions and suggestions.  It is annoying and frustrating to discover someone has misrepresented themselves. Be authentic. Try not to be judgy. 

[Wikkd]

"Improper use of emojis" sometimes I feel unsafe to express my feelings openly, as in RL, so when i feel the laugh inside me i use laughing ones even if im straight faced. When I trust someone or feel safe in RL  the smiles and laughs are genuine. 

Btw being polite or nice isn't acting like a saint *drops the mic*

[Sloth Fairy]

I think it's true. People misrepresent themselves online more often than not. But I think that's true in real life also. Do people really show their true colors? It's tough getting to know people. I tend to get along better with the tell it like it is types. At least I know they're being genuine. I can trust them to tell the truth. 

One thing I do have to add is often times I try to be genuine. Not acting like a "saint".. That's when people react like I have two heads. Lol. I've had conversations where people honestly vent about something in their own life and I've listened, been compassionate etc., then at a later point if I then vent about something,  it's like I've overstepped. Apparently it's not a two way street, this being genuine.

 

Edited March 30, 2023 by Sloth Fairy
Edited to add a couple of thoughts

[beanbean]

Lol I am so guilty of the emoji one I don't connect them to my mood and just press them tho getting better at it 

[ZandraMeow]

@Barney048😂😂... Barney is always kind but harsh.

Online communication and in-person communication are not the same thing. There are three main mediums of communication: language, body language, and environment. Language communication channels only make up about 30% of all information acquisition, with the remaining 70% coming from body language and the perceived environment. In online communication, written text become the primary means of communication, which immediately hinders 70% of the communication effectiveness.

For those who are not adept at using text, online communication can make them appear clumsier than usual. As a result, the phenomena you mentioned are quite normal and expected.😏(It is not your responsibility to remain patient, but they may not be bad guys, either.)

Effective online communication itself is an attention issue, as you mentioned. This requires some skill and practice. I'll try to offer some positive suggestions. (But I won't write a post like Barney because I'm lazy.)😗

When initiating a conversation, it is essential to have a direction in mind, as it helps to facilitate interaction. To engage in a fruitful discussion, it is necessary to evaluate the value of different information, focusing on the value for the other person, not for yourself. The topics one finds interesting may not necessarily be interesting to the other person. Another type of value is the value that the response brings to the responder, such as how it demonstrates your authenticity and trustworthiness. 😉

Edited March 30, 2023 by ZandraMeow