Daddy needs

[DarkSide1969]

There is a lot of discussion here about meeting the need of our Littles. But as I’m currently going through a breakup with my Baby Girl, it occurs to me that the needs of Caregivers isn’t explored as much. Every relationship is two sided. As Daddy/Mommy - what feeds our side of the equation? I find myself just needing a loving hug. I miss the affirmation of her laugh and smile and joyful, “Daddy”. It’s lonely when the relationship that feeds core emotional needs is absent. Just curious as to others thoughts? And maybe just a bit of lonely venting. 

[beanbean]

Yeah it's important too take care of our own needs too .all breakups are hard on everyone but sometimes they can be extra hard on the caregiver because there so busy taking care of there littles need they can forget there own . It's got to be balance take care of yourself first so you  be your best self then do whatever else

[MentorDaddy]

DarkSide, first of all: all the best! You're going through a hard time and I wish you get a lot of support 🤗 

To me the needs of Caregivers looks like a subject that needs more exploration.

[Cebakes]

I think it’s safe to say for every post or discussion from a little here going through a break up, there is a caregiver here experiencing many of the same issues or feelings.  Caregivers and males in general, tend to not be as open on expressing these feelings and fears.  

[DarkSide1969]

It’s all very fresh for me. I’ve realized through the sharing with others that I took a situation that could have created growth and made it about me. Then I behaved badly and wrecked everything. Even this post began as something about me. But it’s a fair observation that on each side of a breakup is someone who’s hurting. Maybe that’s what’s more difficult in being in this dynamic. That we need safety and protection, but ultimately conflicts damage our trust. We have a relationship that’s based on mutual needs in tandem with another person. But I’m rambling. I’ve realized that the fault was mine and so are the consequences. When I hurt my Baby Girl I created further problems and got hurt myself. Karma I guess. 

[Cebakes]

2 hours ago, DarkSide1969 said:

It’s all very fresh for me. I’ve realized through the sharing with others that I took a situation that could have created growth and made it about me. Then I behaved badly and wrecked everything. Even this post began as something about me. But it’s a fair observation that on each side of a breakup is someone who’s hurting. Maybe that’s what’s more difficult in being in this dynamic. That we need safety and protection, but ultimately conflicts damage our trust. We have a relationship that’s based on mutual needs in tandem with another person. But I’m rambling. I’ve realized that the fault was mine and so are the consequences. When I hurt my Baby Girl I created further problems and got hurt myself. Karma I guess. 

It’s good that you have someone to talk to you about your break up. They say one of the most important things to do after a break up is to look back and see what you could’ve done differently and learn from it.

[Guest UnicornPuff]

9 hours ago, DarkSide1969 said:

It’s all very fresh for me. I’ve realized through the sharing with others that I took a situation that could have created growth and made it about me. Then I behaved badly and wrecked everything. Even this post began as something about me. But it’s a fair observation that on each side of a breakup is someone who’s hurting. Maybe that’s what’s more difficult in being in this dynamic. That we need safety and protection, but ultimately conflicts damage our trust. We have a relationship that’s based on mutual needs in tandem with another person. But I’m rambling. I’ve realized that the fault was mine and so are the consequences. When I hurt my Baby Girl I created further problems and got hurt myself. Karma I guess. 

Looking at it from the other side of the coin — relationships require both people to work and both to fail. True that sometimes one person bears more of the blame if they lie or cheat. Is it all your fault, or is some of this self-punishment?

As a Little, I cannot  speak from experiencing “Daddy needs” but I always try to make sure I never take my Daddy for granted and that he knows how much I love him. We are in a LDR, but I would do that in person as well. I think any relationship is that way — participants forget that the whole point of it is to love each other. 

[MissNMTX]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. Of course, daddies hurt and have feelings and needs as well! Even daddies are people.

It seems as though you have already learned a great deal from this breakup that will serve you well in the future.

From the perspective of a middle without a daddy. I always want my daddy to understand how valuable and important to me he is. My goal is to make his life better and happier. As always, that requires the dreaded... communication.

[JonMark]

First allow me to say I am sorry for what you are going through right now. You have nothing but good thoughts from me and I hope the best for you.

It seems as though you have learned that even from the pain there can be growth. How often we forget to learn from our mistakes. And it sounds like you have learned from yours. So in the end, hopefully it will help you to become better.

Again all the best for you in the future.

[DarkSide1969]

Every time there is change, there is the opportunity for growth. I hope that I will eventually sit down with Baby Girl and work things out. I’m a new Daddy, but it’s all I’ve ever really been. And I am not just any Daddy, I’m BG’s Daddy. Our bonding means more to me than just titles. 
But here, now, I see that there are a lot of us on both sides dealing with loss in our CGL relationships. Too many mistakes and hurt feelings. It’s a small community. What we are doesn’t just fit into conventional roles. Tied up in a relationship that is yen and yang. That makes it so much tougher to deal with the loss. Thanks you to all the people who commented here and offered support.
It helps. 

[lilpincess]

I hope you’re doing well