hating your ddlg/abdl side

[Flame wolf]

Hi, so I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for dealing with one's own negative feelings towards their ddlg/abdl side. I'm at the point right now where even though it feels awful to say I hate this side of me. being trans I already deal with ample struggles in finding female romantic partners and living a normal life, so when I step back and add this weird side of myself onto it I just get depressed. I just want to be "normal"/vanilla. I hate feeling like a weirdo who uses pacifiers and bottles and gets sexually turned on by being forcefully regressed. I hate having a knee-jerk reaction when people mention me being an adult because I don't feel like one. I feel like just a scared lonely little girl inside a tower. idk. this post is dumb, but I've just been struggling with a lot of mental health stuff this year, and I'm just over everything in my life, and I'm over being alone. any advice is welcome.

[beanbean]

To me you like what you like . So first off what are you basing that things that you like are strange . Probably on how people perceive you and I think that doesn't matter those people who think like that so what you be you and let them be them and it really does not matter what they think . Now if you really think the things you like are terrible that on thing. But I have a feeling you don't think that . Just be you 

[Cebakes]

So sorry that you have to deal with this and have these internal struggles.  I can guarantee you that you are not alone with coming to terms on DDLG with your feelings.  This is something that my last middle and I discussed extensively over the past year, and topically since we’ve known each other. 

She feels that her involvement in DDLG is hindering her ability to be independent, live alone, feel comfortable by herself, date someone her own age, and develop a relationship that leads to marriage in the next several years.  Being honest, based on her goals, needs, and desires, she is right.   The issue is that she is a middle and loves DDLG.  She’s had these urges and desires since age 15.   It’s something that she needs to figure out and come to terms with. 

She said she is going to see a counselor and DDLG is something they will be discussing.  I would be surprised if a counselor encourages her to continue with DDLG and I have to assume this is something she will try to repress. 

You are not weird and there is nothing dumb with your post, desires, interests, etc. I’m sure many here have wrestled or struggled with this at one point or another.  

[Little kaiya]

First and i think very important, your post is not dumb. It's an expression of how you're feeling and thst means it is 100% valid and important.

Enjoying DDlg/ABDL can sometimes feel difficult at the best of times. That said, fighting or deny what you enjoy or who you are rarely if ever turns out well. I'm genderfluid, polyamorous, pansexual, a furry, have chronic, pain, chronic depression, OCD and more. Tack on enjoying diapers, pacifiers, bottles and being little . . . Well, seems like a lot, right.

It didn't stop me from finally finding both a Wife and a Daddy who is also my boyfriend. Did it happen quickly, nope. I didn't find my Wife and get married until I was 28 and my Daddy until I was 39. Did that mean there were periods of being alone, yes. Did it get hard sometimes, yes. That said, being patient, dating and waiting led to me find two folks who love me unconditionally. Partners like that ARE out there but you can't rush finding them. They will enter your life when the time is right. 

For now focus on self love, self care and give yourself some compassion. Try not to dismiss or put down how you're feeling. Embrace how you're feeling. Consider finding support from family, friends or a therapist. Make sure you're in a good place so when the right person does come into your life you are ready to recognize and welcome thst person or persons.

I don't know your exact situation or life but I can empathize with what you've described, you aren't alone.

[Taggy]

I can relate so much. I'm a submissive, a caregiver and maybe a bit of a middle (not sure yet). So my dating pool is super small compared to vanilla people. I get jealous of them from time to time. They see someone who likes the same tv show and tadaa they have a relationship. For me I know it's going to take a long time to meet someone with compatible interests and who's open for a relationship. Many days I fear it's never going to happen at all and that makes me really sad. There's nothing I can do then to care for myself and to keep believing that one day the right one will hop by. But it's though. I do have a playpartner and I'm super happy I met her, but it's sometimes hard to be at the bottom of her priority list.

At least some of us share the same struggle as us. So hopefully you can take comfort in that you are not alone with your feelings. Keep your head up and keep looking for that one magical moment. Luck could always be around the corner.

[LongTimeMe]

Just a thought for everyone. In the whole history of the universe there has never been a combination of atoms and molecules that have combined themselves together to make someone or something like you. And, there never will be again. You are unique and therefore important.

[Cebakes]

1 hour ago, Taggy said:

I can relate so much. I'm a submissive, a caregiver and maybe a bit of a middle (not sure yet). So my dating pool is super small compared to vanilla people. I get jealous of them from time to time. They see someone who likes the same tv show and tadaa they have a relationship. For me I know it's going to take a long time to meet someone with compatible interests and who's open for a relationship. Many days I fear it's never going to happen at all and that makes me really sad. There's nothing I can do then to care for myself and to keep believing that one day the right one will hop by. But it's though. I do have a playpartner and I'm super happy I met her, but it's sometimes hard to be at the bottom of her priority list.

At least some of us share the same struggle as us. So hopefully you can take comfort in that you are not alone with your feelings. Keep your head up and keep looking for that one magical moment. Luck could always be around the corner.

I battle very similar feelings and do my best to keep them in check, not settle,  and also try to wake up each day with the mentality that I am one day closer to meeting the right person. I live outside of Philadelphia and I’m kind of bummed there aren’t more non vanilla peeps on the various dating sites I’m on and even the number of kink and lifestyle people at my age is kind of disappointing. 

[Emmmybear]

Hi!!!

First off I want to say, I’m so sorry you feel this way. Nobody should have to feel any type of negative way for who they truly are.
 

I struggled with a very similar feeling for a very long time. When I first came out to my partner, I was physically shaking and hyperventilating because I was so scared of sharing that part of myself with someone. I will say, once you find a safe person to be able to share yourself with and be validated back, it becomes much easier.

Another thing that helped me tremendously was watching ddlg/abdls on YouTube. Seeing somebody else be so open and comfortable with sharing their little side with the public gives it a sense of normalcy. Like it’s okay to be yourself. Now you do have to be aware of triggers because there are a lot of negative videos in the mix with triggering comments.

I hope you’re able to unlock that place in your brain that allows you to accept yourself and embrace who you are 🥰 if you ever want to chat feel free to DM me!