How to do DDLG outside of the bedroom

[UniCat]

Before I knew what DDLG was, I had two boyfriends that I called “Daddy”. But they weren’t really dominant in the bedroom. More like a caregiver/ mentor dynamic of the relationship. I looked up to them, you were older, wiser and took care of me in many ways. 

Then when I got older and started to explode more sexually. I got interested in BDSM. But I have alway been more in the power/ control dynamics of it. I quickly learned that I am definitely a princess, a brat and a middle. I don’t really enjoy any of the hardcore stuff.

I started with my current daddy purely as bedroom only DDLG. He enjoys rough sex but is also very good with aftercare. He likes to cuddle with the girl after sex and also helps out financially if needed. But then he never really had a 24/7 DDLG relationship, which involves role playing outside of the bedroom. Tbh, I don’t think he ever really went on dates with other Littles he had before. 
 

Because I insisted on having real emotional connections, he likes me enough to started to take me on real dates. I have always enjoyed the mental/ emotional aspect of DDLG more than the actual sex dominance. 
 

As I am a middle, I don’t really need little space. I naturally dress cute and act innocent. I have a naturally high pitch voice that’s like a teenager. Also I wear a lot of pink, heart, hello kitty designs. As I am already 38, most people around me would feel that I act much younger than my actual age. 
 

How do you littles and middles act with your daddies outside of the bedroom? What’s the major difference between having a daddy as a boyfriend vs someone that’s not a daddy? 
 

I wanna act like a little in public, to make our relationship more unique. But obviously, I don’t wanna embarrass him or myself. 
 

Any thoughts, suggestions, comments would be appreciated. Thank you! 

[honeybee7]

Something my D and I do is he helps me do things even if I don’t actually need it to accomplish the thing. For example, I’ll struggle with opening a jar (a need) and I’ll run over to him and hold it out to him with a lil smile. But then sometimes just to be devious I like to pretend I can’t do something, such as getting a blanket before bed if they’re all tangled up (non need). I technically could get the blankie myself but I like to feel like I need my D’s help with simple things, so I’ll look to him with a pout so that he knows I could actually do it but I just am wanting his help.

Another way my D and I carry the dynamic outside the bedroom is I’ll do things that look vanilla to others, but to us it’s not. This helps a lot when we’re in public. For example, I’ll say “gimme a kiss!” and he’ll do it, then I’ll pout and try to get another one on my own. The key is that I try to do it on my own— my D kicks into DOM energy whenever I pretend to be independent. Not to say that he controls me, it’s just a joy of our relationship that I like when he has all the power. So for me to be bratty and climb him like a tree just to get another kiss, to others, we’re a vanilla couple playing around, but in reality it’s a D and his LG engaging in a power-struggle form of play.

When we’re with friends, me and my D have to be a bit more secretive with our dynamic. So a good way for us to do that while still maintaining our D/s energy is I’ll sit on his lap everywhere we go. Doesn’t matter if we’re at a party or at a restaurant. Unless me sitting on his lap hinders things like eating, drinking, or socializing, that’s where you can find me. And as soon as he’s ready for me to come back, I’m like a magnet stuck to him. Sometimes just to play around, I’ll pretend like I’m not going to sit on his lap, so then he’ll grab me and make me sit. This one is rly fun if he bounces his knee cause then it’s like a pony ride!

One more way me and him carry the dynamic into Big Life is that he’ll guide me around if we’re walking. Like he’ll place his hand on my back or hips to make sure I’m walking the right way. And the first time he ever did it, I noticed immediately and made sure to tell him I liked it. My biggest tip is that when your D does something dommy and puts you into little space, COMPLIMENT!!! Compliment how good he does it, compliment him and how him doing the thing makes him look so strong/handsome/etc. Mention how much you enjoy when he does it, and really emphasize how much you like it. He’ll remember if he’s a daddy worth his salt.

I will mention that my D and I have never had an outright conversation where we’ve labeled the dynamic specifically as DDLG, it’s just something that occurred based on my naturally submissive and his naturally dominant personalities. Strangely enough, he is my first real DDLG relationship. My first was a fake daddy, using the precious power dynamic to abuse and manipulate me. I think subconsciously I became afraid of being little, and thus developed a dislike for it. I repressed my wants and needs, and ended up in two very vanilla relationships. I didn’t enjoy either as I never felt 100% loved and accepted, but oddly enough I didn’t rediscover my little space until after me and my D got together. The biggest difference between having a bf who’s into DDLG versus who’s vanilla is the level of authenticity I feel around them. My D makes me feel like I can let down my guard and be vulnerable, while still giving me the space to be a big ol brat and get my punishments when necessary. When I was with my previous bf, and the one before that, I never felt that excitement that I get from being able to be small and little. With my vanilla bf, it almost felt like I took on the CG role, because I was trying too hard to make up for what was lacking. Ultimately, I don’t have much to say by way of finding or making someone a D… I will admit me and my D got very lucky given how we met on a vanilla dating app. But I will say this: if your bf has strong daddy traits in the bedroom, then there’s a strong chance he has daddy traits outside of the bedroom. You just have to tease it out of him, encouraging him in certain actions that make you feel good as a middle and little. Take it with baby steps— try out things that border between vanilla and DDLG-related, then slowly progress up. You wouldn’t start off by getting on your knees and begging him to treat you a certain way, but you could build up to that if you so choose. Start off by thinking “what can i get away with in front of family?” then if he’s game, you can build up to “what can i get away with in front of friends?” and then to “what can i get away with in front of nobody?” You wanna take it slow slow slow like a turtle tho so that it becomes a natural progression of testing the waters/testing your soft boundaries.

 

My apologies for how long this is!!

 

glitter n hugs!

- Bee

[maamlittleone]

Hello, I have an active 24/7 mdlg relationship.  Some ways in which we act our relationship outside the home.

-she picks me up from work and walks me home

-I walk somewhat behind her

-I cuddle into her when on public transit

-wear a hidden collar or cute underwear while out

 

We have some facial expression and unsaid communication that reinforced my role as little and sub that work outside the house.

[Erasmeus71]

Look as someone that is looking for a little. The fact you look younger actually is a good sign. Most woman want people to think they are younger number one. For me I am 51 if I was to walk up to you, I could lie easily and say I am in my late 30's. Why is the that. Most people think this man is younger than he looks despite his now thinning hair and grey start to pop into his hair. Some get the hair in the 30's. Some start going bald in 30's Prince William for example. To me wearing a pink dress out of house is no big deal. Holding hands. A couple does that all the time. Pink to me is no big deal. I would rather my girl look younger. Want to sit on my lap. While I cuddle with her. Give her a bed time story before bedtime. I know that part is bedtime although that can be on couch. You cuddle in the car at the park. A lot of people does that. It was reason why I could not find a parking space. Go to the movies. A lot of couples do that. Heck, they don't care what color your clothes are in Theatre. I knew Jenny was wet because I kept fixing how she dressed herself. Like anyone else noticed either. Held her hand in the theatre. Made sure she was dressed properly after she came out. No one said anything to us Even though it was Disneyland. I did as discreetly as possible. Ahem, she left her undies out. I kept putting them in. It was like she was submissive 24/7 in little space. Yes, I would ask. Oh, and I did walk behind her also at beginning. I wanted to block the fact she had those undies out. Now since I really did not know about DDLG back then I had not given rules although I did tell to put her undies in. Hold my hand. As far as rule breaking well a lecture I did give her one. Just did not know I was going into DDLG at the time.

Edited March 9, 2023 by Erasmeus71
Wrong place

[Floatyduck14]

Getting someone into a regressive state of mind is complete psychological. There is no ONE way. 

Having a little and getting them to that place is a privilege. Not a right. It's earned. 

They need to feel safe. Cared for. 

As an individual who hasn't been able to access little space in a long time the key is TRUST. 

I don't trust anyone with my complete little space because people have proven to me over and over that they will disrespect it. 

The key is thinking like the child that person is. What did they need as a child? What do they need now to heal that inner child? What will make them feel safe letting that inner child out. 

If you can answer those questions you have the key. 

[MentorDaddy]

• helping my little girl with almost everything
• telling her what to do
• giving her compliments
• holding her hand at the pedestrian crossing
• holding her hand everywhere
• telling her that she looks beautiful
• checking what she is doing
• brushing her hair
• brushing her teeth (okay, when no-one is looking)
• warning her of dangerous situations (everything is dangerous for a little girl)
• buying her an ice cream
• telling her we have to get off the next bus stop
• tying her shoelaces for her
• putting a plaster on a wound
• pulling the plaster off and saying it will hurt a little

Edited March 10, 2023 by LovingDaddySadistic
spelling mistake

[Baby Manda]

So I teach preschool (4 year old kids) in my real life job and kinda get to be little a lot. The problem is I'm the lead teacher, the responsible one and it's really hard to get into and out of little space sometimes. (I'm also a single mom with 2 kids who are older and don't play as much anymore). Something I really enjoy about summer break is going to the park or the swimming pool and just playing!!! I get to be a little, in public (even though I'm really there as a mom I just play anyway). I kinda had a daddy for awhile and having him tell me to use my paci when I was overwhelmed or hug me, hold my hand, tell me to watch my tone or just walk up to me and swat my butt for being sassy (I'm a brat too) all really helped me relax and enjoy DDlg outside the bedroom. I've been trying to find ways to embrace my little without a daddy, too and letting myself dress in age appropriate clothes that are softer fabrics, or have pretty colors helps more than I realized! I have another mom friend over (I think she's a little too) and we do crafts with our kids or color and watch Disney princess movies, bake cookies, draw with sidewalk chalk, blow bubbles, eat "little" foods, sit on the floor, make blanket forts, have water balloon fights, paint our nails, do hair, laugh and giggle. Own the fact I'm a little girl. 

Also, giving myself rewards like going to the park, swimming pool, watch a movie or dessert after supper for doing extra chores has seemed to help, too. Oh! And using a really super soft blanket to cuddle at night with my stuffie and paci and an online story .... perfect! (Don't forget the baby lotion and diaper before bed!) None of it sexual, just everyday coping stuff! Ways to feel taken care of when you are taking care of yourself.