Mentorship in DD/lg

[CuddleMonster89]

For me personally as a Daddy I have a desire to be a mentor to my future little one, at times teaching her things or guiding her to resources that she can use to learn, acquire new skills, accomplish her goals, and grow as a person. I haven't seen this topic discussed much so I wanted to make a thread about it and hear how common (or uncommon) it is and learn peoples opinions on it.

 

Some questions to spark discussion:

 

In your DD/lg relationship, does the Daddy/Mommy ever mentor the little one or teach them new things?

 

If so, what topics are covered?

 

Does your DD/lg relationship include teaching as a form of age play (such as teaching the little one the ABCs)?

 

Does you DD/lg relationship include mentoring the little one on grown up topics or new things she doesn't already know (e.g. perhaps advising the little one how to write a resume and apply for a job, or how to express anger in healthy ways, or how to eat healthy, or how to cope with grief, etc.)?

 

Does your DD/lg relationship include teaching as a form of service (such as teaching the little one how to do chores to the Daddy's satisfaction, or teaching the little one how to please the Daddy sexually)?

 

Who decides what topics will be covered? Does the Big decide what to teach or advice the little one on, or does the little one come up with topics she wants to learn about? Or both?

 

How does the Big mentor the little one?

 

- talking about it

- being a good role model or demonstrating so the little one can learn by observation

- giving the little one informative books on the subject along with a reading assignment

- giving the little one links to articles or blog posts on the topic

- giving the little one links to youtube videos, talks, or presentations on the topic

- online courses

- offline courses/classes

- other?

 

Does the little one ever teach the Big new things, either directly or indirectly?

 

Do any Daddies or Mommies mentor other Bigs? Are there any Daddies or Mommies that are open to being a mentor for other Bigs? Are there any Daddies or Mommies that want a mentor?

[Guest DaddysLolita]

For a while Daddy was giving me homework, topics were either his choice or mine.

 

I think it's a good idea and can evoke a lot of interesting conversations. To me it's also a nice way to show that you care about your little, to help them learn and grow in all aspects of their life.

 

Age play can be fun (Daddy taught me how to cook...) teaching as a form of service, yes. We mostly did essay style or we'd simply discuss things.

 

I think it's fun when the little can teach the big something, directly or inadvertently. For example, I'm gonna teach Daddy how to braid hair....

 

<3

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Daddy is my mentor in many ways. He teaches me things, guides me and supports me when I struggle.

It can be very difficult at a distance with his crazy work schedule, but it will take on a whole new level once I am with him full time in several months.

He is going to teach me how to be his perfect little girl, show me how he likes things to be done, advise me and guide me.

That sounds as though I'm not good enough yet, lol, but it's the opposite of that really. He knows and appreciates my efforts, and knows how desperately I need him to show me how to please him even more, how to do an even better job, even though he constantly praises me and says he never knew such a good, obedient little girl , and how my love and hard work makes him want to be an even better daddy to me (yeah, like that's even possible! Hehe funny daddy)

 

It's hard to pinpoint specific things, because he does it all the time.

He is my teacher. I go to him in every situation and he guides me through it.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

My Daddy teaches me new things all the time..I can't really say exactly what he teaches me since it will depend on the day/what we are doing at the moment. We aren't into age-play so that's out of the question and Daddy teaches me things that I don't know/things that he thinks will better me as a person. When I want his guidance, I will ask and he will sit down with me and explain whatever it is. My Daddy is such a great teacher..I admire his patience

 

There will be times (during sexy time) where I'll ask him if something feels good and if it doesn't, then I'd ask him to explain/show me. I wouldn't really count that as mentoring- we're just keeping an open communication with each other. I feel like we learn from each other directly and indirectly every single day

[The Perennial Princess]

Definitely.

 

I always desired a partner who possessed intelligence equal to if not greater than my own. If I cannot learn and evolve from my partner then what is the point of our union? This is magnified tenfold in a DDLG dynamic. My papa bear and I have interests that are both similiar and different. I make it a point to always explore and elaborate upon these interests together. My papa routinely teaches me new things about his favorite mediums: finance (I am a more rational and thriftier saver now), the government, music, and science.

 

These are all areas that I am weak in and I love to listen to papa teach me new things. We have no set routine or disciplined methodology for learning abstract concepts together, rather, we do when the compulsion arises. Papa will say something in passing or maybe we will watch a movie or show together on the subject. As freethinkers, we are always trying to view the world in different ways and learn through our discussions.

 

My papa bear has definitely heightened my awareness of the media controlled world and has helped me to grow aware of my place in the world. Papa has also enabled me, someone largely indifferent to music, to become better informed and aware of its nuances and beauty. I truly thank him for this and am glad he was the one able to open my eyes. He is a true teacher in that he inspires me to strive for excellence and to reach my potential. He is my inspiration. 

 

Creatively, and without his wholehearted knowledge, he has even transformed my writing. Due to my passion and love for him I am constantly writing and therefore evolving as a writer. I aim for each work to be better than the last and this helps my techniques flourish and grow. I always tell him that he is my muse and that I do not write for him but rather I must. Poems fashion themselves out of his very existence.  This creative boost has benefited me immensely over the years and honed my self-expression. So although he has not traditionally taught me any forms of writing, he has lent himself to my creative process and strengthened it.  He is the building blocks of my writing. 

 

Similarly, he is the building blocks of my concept of love. What I understood to be love has been transformed throughout the course of our relationship. He is one with me and I have learned how to exist with him as one full self. This has made me a better, wiser individual and has enabled me to develop a healthy, contented relationship with myself and the world. He saved me, in every which way a person can be saved, and I am better, stronger, and kinder because of it. My character has become more astute, more practical, and circumspect, but also more loving and strong. He likewise has become softened, more romantic, intuitive, and empathetic/sensitive. We are attuned to one another and this is due to an indirect methodology of teaching that is cooperative rather than explicit. It is the kind of teaching that cannot be outlined. It rather happens from the collision of two like souls. 

 

In terms of more structured teaching, I had to pass a certificate exam some time ago that centered around my one and only weakness: math. Papa is pretty well versed in math and he would sit down with me at least once a week and teach me concepts I had either long forgotten or never known. I couldn't have asked for a more patient and loving teacher. He was strict and tender at the right moments. I am confident that no one could have gotten through to me but him. I would have shut down from frustration and embarrassment if it wasn't for his perseverance. He used to design tests, problems, and questions all aimed to target my interests and engage me. (Maybe he's the true teacher here.  )

 

I truly couldn't have done it without him and though I wouldn't want him to undergo such a daunting task again with me, I am always so appreciative of his efforts and input across a wide range of mediums. I always share my ideas, my papers, and my projects with him and seek his feedback in turn. I make corrections with him in mind. I aim to please him not just in our daily life but in my career and through my schooling.

 

My papa also instructs me in day to day foibles that I am inept at. If I don't put the microwave dish back on the track right, papa will call me over and show me how. This reminds me of something my mom used to do and never fails to make me smile. Papa is always teaching me new odds and ends varying from how to put something together or how to clean something properly. I've grown so much under his tutelage! When we were first together I received a lot of 'training' in this department. Now, I'm nearly an expert. 

 

Papa is my teacher and we are always learning from one another. I would feel inadequate if I was not doing my part so I too feel the need to teach my papa. I'm always telling him about classic literature, writing, history, the human heart, the spiritual world, and facts about other cultures and other miscellaneous info. We both use our strengths to inform the other and our weaknesses to learn. We meld together in our love for unconventionality, philosophy, and the human condition. We bounce ideas, concerns, and theories off one another and I view this as both rewarding and necessary. I need a partner who challenges me. I could not be with someone who was traditional and like everyone else. My papa bear satisfies my every emotional and psychological want and I like to think I satisfy his. 

 

So yes, my papa bear is my teacher but more importantly, we are each other's teachers. A true teacher is also a student. 

[LB Chris]

With me it does include mentoring aspects such how to better handle emotions, understanding and managing social situations and being encouraged to study because it's about care-giving which doesn't rule out the enforcement/disciplinarian side but isn't just rules because it's about helping you to grow more as a person  all round.

[ANewDragon]

Thank you for this, As a newer member to both D/s and DD/LG, I have been trying to understand some of this through different google searches, But did not find much.

 

I do know however, that I will need a mentor, someone I can turn to in those trying times of being a daddy. I am thankful to have found this wonderful community for support in that aspect. 

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

This is more about the daddy being the littles mentor, not an outside influence mentoring the daddy. But there are many discussions, sites and ways to learn. Have a look around here, and also consider joining fetlife, which has a wealth of discussions, facts and guidance.

[Guest DaddysLolita]

Do any Daddies or Mommies mentor other Bigs? Are there any Daddies or Mommies that are open to being a mentor for other Bigs? Are there any Daddies or Mommies that want a mentor?

 

Personally I think it is a great idea for Daddies/Mommies/Caregivers to have big friends. Like littles need friends, I'm sure it would be helpful for them.

 

<3

[ANewDragon]

Thank you Daddyslolita for pointing out a part of the primary question, which is about Daddies and Mommies and mentoring other Bigs or Mommies and Daddies being open to or wanting a mentor.

 

Since I do not have a little of my own as of yet. I was providing to the discussion my point of view. Honestly I would definitely be open to a mentor as I have found a wealth of knowledge about BDSM, and Thanks to this site I have found a fair amount of knowledge on DD/lg. A fair amount that I have found to be very similar between 70% to 90% of the information in most topics. 

 

However, There are going to be times when I will need a mentor that has some experience already. As a new person to this lifestyle and as me in general I love to learn, and will listen to advice from pretty much anyone, How I use that advice is different. 

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

I think many people who identify as a daddy believe they have to be perfect before meeting a potential little. Same for our side of the coin, but more pressure from the daddy side. Perfection doesn't exist. With the right partner, you learn and grow together. That's not to say you can't find out all you can beforehand of course, but don't worry. Enthusiasm and effort are a great start.

[littlelamb]

I need a mentor.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

I need a mentor.

This reply isn't really relevant to what the OP is trying to discuss.