How to earn the trust/affection of a little?

[PapaPyro]

Hey so, I'm pretty new to this whole daddy thing. I met this little online, we play league of legends all the time and she is so great. I can't really tell if things are getting anywhere between us though. She called me daddy twice (not sure if she was kidding around, would a little do that?) and she has flirted occasionally, but a lot of the time she doesn't show that effort that I would expect from someone who was interested romantically. Just a background on her, she just left an abusive daddy and is going through some real emotional issues. So what do I do to show her that I won't treat her like her last daddy? How do i get her interested in me?

[Honeysuckle]

Be really caring, an always try to be there for her. Also realize that right now you shouldn't be trying to start an romantic relationship with her right now. From what you've described it sounds like she is really not ready for anything like that. Focus on being her friend right now and supporting her through this tough time. Most importantly, don't expect your support to be "repayed," support her because you care about her, not because you have an ulterior motive. If when all is said and done she decides she wants a romantic relationship with you, great! If not, great! You'll still have a wonderful friend. Have patience, be yourself, be caring, be compassionate and help her however you can. Those are my thoughts

[baby_ace]

If she's just gotten out of an abusive relationship she's going to be gun shy. Just take your time with her if you really like her. She's probably toeing the line but also figuring out where she's still unsure/afraid. Most littles I know generally don't use the word Daddy lightly, that being said I wouldn't read too much into it and just have fun hanging out with her. 

[Guest Princess Dusty]

It honestly depends on the person as for the messing around. Though honestly just being patient, abusive is something extremely hard to over come so it might just take time and patience. Just be gentle with her. But also you should try to talk to her too if you're feeling like this isn't going anywhere. Just my two cents.

[Guest littlemissragamuffin]

Take it slow! Don't rush into things. It sounds like she could use a good friend right now more than a new relationship. You want to prove that you can be trusted and you care, then be there for her just because you want to be there for her and not for what it might lead to. Just being there will prove it. Your friends and you want to be open and honest, so the next time she calls you Daddy or you think she's flirting don't be scared to ask about it. But don't push the issue. To prove the things you want to you just have to do the things you want to prove. : 3

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Trying to assure her that you are "better than the bad guys" isn't really a good idea. That's a well used line by people who are, yes, the bad guys.

Chill out a bit. Just carry on as you are. She may be a little, but she isn't a child. If she's interested, she will give you little signs. Tread slowly, patiently and carefully. That in itself is a trait of a daddy.

[ANewDragon]

I understand what you are going through Papa Pyro. I am going through a similar thing with a friend of mine. We dont play LoL so I doubt it is the same person. I am just showing her that I am here for her. Talking to her, trying to make her smile. Simply put I am honestly just being there for her to talk to. We flirt and she likes the attention I am able to give her. But if you honestly want it to work out, just making sure you are there for her is the best thing you can do right now. Do not expect anything in return, and do not expect for her to jump at the first daddy she finds coming out of a relationship. If you are there for her she will respect that more then if you push for her attention. I would recommend that when you talk to her, Ask her how she is feeling, if she says anything but ok or happy, ask her why she is that way. Try and help cheer her up by telling her a joke, or making her laugh at something. Maybe find some funny clips on YouTube and recommend she goes at watches one. If she does say ok or happy, just let her know you are there for her and if she needs to talk cause you know she is going through a hard time, you are there for her. 

 

Let her choose when she is ready to talk and how she is ready to talk. Those 2 choices that a woman has when she is not pushed is the little things that will allow you the chance to get her interests even more. 

 

I have to agree with MyDaddyMyWorld when she says not to say you are "better than the bad guys". If you are truly better than the bad guys, you will give her the time she needs, you will be there for her to help pick herself up, and even if she decides she is not ready for a relationship, you will over friendship and be there to support her.

[Guest Buttons]

Before she is a little, she is a human being - an adult. So, focus firstly on earning her respect as an equal.  

[LolitasDaddy]

Take it slow. Be honest. Ask a lot of questions. Let her see that you are different instead of being told it.

[PappiScorpio]

I should start of by saying that I don't have a lot of experience in the community. That is to say my previous partners and I have never discussed it but just fallen into the roles of caregiver and little naturally.

I somewhat agree with all the previous posts. Especially ANewDragon. Make her smile. Do things that lighten her day a little. If she have been through something bad with her last daddy she definitely needs space and patience. What I would ad is that she might also need someone who talks to her about other stuff than the baggage.
I would try to do as you did before she called you Daddy and she told you more about herself. That is the reason you got her attention in the first place. Now she can just talk to you about those things as well. I have a tendency to start over analyzing when I like someone.

 

Don't think to much about it and try to do what comes naturally.  

Good luck!

[HoneybeePrincess]

I'm going to agree with what the others have said here but I'd like to add that if you are feeling connected to her and a more romantic interest is developing for you, make her aware of that. However, also make her aware that there is no pressure. Be willing to be her friend and at her pace maybe something more.

 

Ultimately she is an adult and if I were in her situation and someone I thought was just a friend had a romantic intention toward me and I didn't feel the same, I would feel very awkward when I did find out, and I would think there was a reason for hiding that information.

 

However, your bravery in making a statement may start another conversation that opens up avenues you didn't know were available. Only she can determine where she is and what she is ready for, but you have to let her tell you that, don't presume.

 

Good luck!

[HerDarkDaddy]

It takes TIME and PATIENCE.  Lots of it.  But, it is worth it.  Your main priority as a "Daddy"...is the safety and well-being of your little...be that physical or emotional. DaddyJsPrincess and I have both been through more than our fair share of crappy, abusive relationships and it has taken its toll on us both. We have slowly had to learn each other's "triggers" and how each of us deals with different things.

 

It may seem like you are being annoying at times, but ASK her how she's feeling throughout whatever you are doing. Check in with her frequently to make sure what you are doing is okay and that she is comfortable with it. MAKE SURE SHE IS COMFORTABLE - NEVER "force" her to do ANYTHING that she isn't 100% comfortable with...and again, don't be afraid to ask. Don't go into it expecting sex right away. Not saying that it is, but if you are persuing this girl for the ultimate goal of getting laid...back out now.  It won't end well for either of you, and will only cause her more harm.  It isn't worth it.

 

Being a "Daddy" isn't about sex...it's about having a Little to love and protect.  It's about having someone that depends on you to be their "knight in shining armor" when they are having a bad day.  Yes, sex can be part of it...but, that should not be your goal.

 

Let her guide you, LISTEN and LEARN her...and I wish you both luck.. I hope you both find what you are looking for.

 

- Daddy J

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Be patient. Be yourself. If she likes you then she'll show it, but don't force anything.

[Guest Jennyanydots]

Calling you "Daddy" was probably her way of testing the waters. She probably wanted to see how you would respond to it and it may have been her way of letting you know she was interested. Someone with emotional baggage, and especially a little (or the one's I've known) is not likely to be overtly flirtatious unless they are absolutely positive that you are interested. Littles tend to take a LOT of patience and a LOT of time - so much time - to come out of their shell. Littles are very vulnerable and fragile and you will have to take your time with her. Try to remember Daddy first, lover second. Provide for her emotional needs first and let her decide where it goes from there. I promise that if you can meet her emotional needs she will want more. True of all women, even in vanilla relationships. Unless she is looking for a fling it will take her a long time to become comfortable with you and so, if you want something serious (and please don't go for a fling with someone coming out of an abusive relationship, it's bad for both of you, honestly. I speak with love) then don't let HER rush things either. Rushing things after an abusive relationship can lead to some serious, serious trauma. Her needs are great right now so provide for them and don't ask for anything more than the honor of helping her out. For god's sake, don't ask for sex. Because of the abusive relationship SHE should be the one to initiate sex (or sex talk, etc etc) and YOU need to watch out and be SURE that she isn't just trying to keep you happy/interested. I would go as far as to say turn her down the first time or two so that she knows you only want what she truly WANTS. But don't shut her down either, invite her for just cuddles and kisses and let her know how sexy you think she is.She will give her affection and submit freely once she knows she can trust you. You don't need to tell her she can trust you, she will know by your actions. Be her shoulder to cry on and a listening ear with wise advice when it is needed and asked for. Be consistant above all else. Be her friend and mentor FIRST. That is how you earn, not just the attention of a little, but her adoration. She has already let it be known that she is attracted to you and you don't need to tell her that you are attracted to her. It will be made evident by the affection you give to her as a friend and mentor. Next time she calls you Daddy, say something wise like "I'm so honoured, little one, but I don't know that I've quite earned that title." this lets her know that you understand what it means to her to call you Daddy (it is a sign of respect and tells you that she trusts you, even if she has not submitted to you yet) and it also tells her that you won't rush things OR expect her to rush things. It's Daddy's job to make sure things progress slowly enough that little won't feel she's being taken advantage of. little will always seek to please Daddy and often feels that Daddy isn't getting enough out of the relationship - so s/he tries to give too much too soon. You can follow up with something like "I'd love to earn that title, if you'll give me time" or "I'd be proud to earn a baby like you" because you SHOULD be EARNING that title and this will also reinforce that you are interested in her. Now, don't you dare quote me because I don't know your little at all and if you can't think for yourself how to say what you need to say to little then you don't deserve to have her. Otherwise, I wish you both the best of luck. You take care of that girl, she needs you <3