i need help and instructions please

[honeybee7]

I would love some advice for my current circumstances…

i’m pretty sure my partner is a DD, or at least has very strong tendencies towards those nurturing, doting, disciplinarian behaviors. Hes occasionally tested out “baby-like” words around me like asking if i need my “blankie”, or when he tries to get me awake in the mornings he’ll tell me “uppies” so i know to grab hold of him to carry me out of bed  

but the thing is i’m not sure he’s into ddlg. in the beginning of our relationship (which we’ve been together for 5 months) we talked how we both would feel uncomfy with me calling him “daddy”. he says he’s vanilla, but we do lots of kinky stuff, and we recently implemented my first funishment to help me be more organized… i worry that i’ll ruin something so good because outside of the ddlg aspect of our relationship, it’s a dream come true.

i know he fulfills all of my wants and needs when i’m big. it’s my first emotionally healthy relationship which is helping teach me in ways even when i’m big and thought i knew everything. he’s considerate and kind and hilarious, so strong and handsome, very talented and can even play different types of guitars! and i know he already fulfills many of my wants when i’m little, but i feel like if i officially present ddlg to him it could go one of two ways. 1) he could go along with it and be happy that we both found a community and lifestyle that naturally suits us or 2) he could be uncomfortable and get the wrong idea about why i’m little.

the thing is i’m 24-7 little, only big when im at work interacting with others, or in socially necessary situations. the rest of the time i feel im vulnerable and naive, even my bosses have told me how child-like i seem. i can’t turn it off, and when im with him i go deeper into little space. it’s obvious too. he buys me stuffies, tucks me in, calls me baby, calls me good girl, little or tiny baby, once called me little girl and all. i just feel like if i reveal this defined-put-into-words secret about myself, then what if he is disgusted or turned off by me? i can’t risk losing him. not only is he my Favorite Person (i have BPD) he’s my love, my friend, my protector, my guide, my home. if i don’t tell him, i worry my little needs and eventually wants will not be met properly and shrivel up. im not sure what to do and i would love some step by step advice— how do i, if possible to do so without ruining my relationship, share this community and lifestyle with my partner? :3

 

glitter n hugs!

- Bee

Edited February 7, 2023 by honeybee7
tags and extra details :3

[Little kaiya]

Perhaps start by asking yourself why the need to define your relationship under the DDlg label? If both of you are happy, having you needs met and like your relationship what does labeling it add?

If you are both uncomfortable using Daddy as a term then use another term. It sounds like you feel some pressure to "officially" label your relationship when there doesn't really seem to be a need to do so.

Maybe instead of focusing on how he may react instead focus on why you want a label when you already have the relationship.

[beanbean]

your partner sounds pretty great. talk to him . the worderfull thing about ddlg you can adapt it to fit your needs , if you guys are uncomfortable use something ale . its not one size fits all

[Erasmeus71]

All I can say my autistic part of me says if you can't except the person the way they are then they then there the wrong person. To me he sounds like he is into it. Has he given you a set of rules to follow? If you break them then you get punished. A good girl gets a list of awards. I am neurodivergent myself with my own problems.

Edited February 7, 2023 by Erasmeus71