How do I know if my bf is into this?

[Bunnygirl20]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for close to four months at this point. We have deliberately been holding off on sexual play, largely to do with the age difference and our personalities. He's 29 and I'm 20 and we can both be pretty modest and awkward. While I've been into Ddlg for quite a few years, I've never been into older men. Due to familial issues, I couldn't have been more opposed. This guy was introduced by friends that has known us both well and for a long time. They figured we'd work great. We hit it off really quickly, having very similar views and values and complimentary interests. Before actually considering a relationship, we liked getting into deep discussions while hanging out. It was perfect since like the beginning, he easily opened me up to fall for him (Not that he tried to convince me, he's just a really great and wholesome guy). It's not just hopeful thinking of a young girl, but he seems to legitimately be the man for me. The people we know see it as a done deal and I kinda have to agree. 

 

As mentioned we've been holding back. While we are both obviously sexual people, we've been keeping it on a leash. We don't talk about sex, unless in a political or social sense. He has only recently somewhat touched my butt during some making out (Which he has also held back on due to feeling like he was pressuring me to use tongue. What a sweetheart). Hell, we completely ignore when he has an erection that is pressed against me. But there are still signals, some clearer than others. I know that he's into bondage. While he's not explicitly said it, he's made multiple comments about rope, cuffs, and zip ties to bind me with. He's mentioned this because we frequently wrestle when I'm feeling bratty and want to try to tickle him or steal his phone. I say wrestle, but he pins me almost immediately and I have to squirm out of his grasp. Even early on, he made a passing comment about the wrestling being foreplay. The one of the last times we wrestled, he repeatedly used a small blanket to bind my wrists, then mentioning "fuzzy handcuffs from Spencer's gifts". The next night, we wrestled a bit more and ended up rolling around kissing hotter than usual. More tongue, some butt touching, but still very tame for two grown adults. 

 

The man must be at least a bit kinky. But I don't know exactly if he is a Daddy. He has started calling me princess, along with doll. The first few times he called me princess, he was almost quiet about it, trying be be really low-key about it is what I thought. It seemed like he was testing the water and started calling me that more often after a while. At one point, he stated that "It's weird that they're open about that" when talking about a YouTuber that was into Ddlg. Which seems to be specific wording, which he has done before. He's a man whose open about his opinions, yet has not made any comment about age players that we see. I once talked over the phone about wearing my hair in pigtails and he said his ears "perked up" when he heard me say that. He is definitely Dominant with how he pins me and is naturally protective and assertive. He is also really romantic and theatrical. He also kinda already punishes me for being bratty. He'll withhold kisses and even cuddles for a period of time when I playfully push him around and get in his way. He's been direct in telling me no and that there are consequences. Unfortunately these are the only things leading me to think he's a Daddy. Maybe it is just hopeful thinking. 

 

If he is, I think my age might make him a bit hesitant about the kink. He hasn't dated anyone so much younger. We got together because of how well we fit and liked one another. But I wonder if he feels like a creep for seeing me in that sense. He is very sweet and respectful. I think he is worried to seem as though he is dating me for sexual reasons. I'm not worried about it though because of how wholesome we tend to be and how we've not relied on sex to this point. It just seems so wild and lucky that we may be on the same page with this kink and that we would fit the roles great. I just need some opinions on whether or not he seems like a Daddy and ways of potentially approaching it. He's said before that he's willing to try things, I have to assume he means sexually as well. I just really wonder what he is into.

[Guest SnowMan_Baby]

from what I gather, he might be open to it. since you have done things together already. maybe come across a youtube video that talks more about it and see his reaction to it. Sounds like y'all are a great match. I don't know... I never had that kind of relationship. I do wish y'all the best.

Edited February 5, 2023 by SnowMan_Baby

[Bunnygirl20]

48 minutes ago, SnowMan_Baby said:

from what I gather, he might be open to it. since you have done things together already. maybe come across a youtube video that talks more about it and see his reaction to it. Sounds like y'all are a great match. I don't know... I never had that kind of relationship. I do wish y'all the best.

Thanks for the reply! I've been considering ways for the topic to casually be brought up. I hope that he's open to it. While it's not a deal breaker for me, he often gets me in the mood. I've really tried to pay attention to his reactions. Fingers crossed, thanks! 

[Vampiress]

Wow, sounds like a really lovely relationship you both have! Based on the signals you've noticed, it sounds like it is possible he is into it, and if he isn't into it yet then maybe he would be open to it. I think you could further test the waters by doing what SnowMan_Baby said, bur also maybe you can show some little-ish things you like such as stuffies or other tamer things. I definitely wouldn't start with pacifiers and sippy cups (not sure if you're into those anyways), and if he reacts neutrally or positively to those things then you can take it up a notch before eventually just asking him.

[Bunnygirl20]

1 hour ago, Vampiress said:

Wow, sounds like a really lovely relationship you both have! Based on the signals you've noticed, it sounds like it is possible he is into it, and if he isn't into it yet then maybe he would be open to it. I think you could further test the waters by doing what SnowMan_Baby said, bur also maybe you can show some little-ish things you like such as stuffies or other tamer things. I definitely wouldn't start with pacifiers and sippy cups (not sure if you're into those anyways), and if he reacts neutrally or positively to those things then you can take it up a notch before eventually just asking him.

Thank you for your reply! My boyfriend knows I have a few stuffed animals that I like to hold when sleeping. He's not shown much of a reaction, but I ought to test it out more. I don't plan on openly asking for a while yet, as we haven't gotten sexual yet. But hinting and small signals is what I'm going to stick with for now. I'm hopeful, he seems like a lot of fun in that aspect, but it'd be almost too good to be true if he fit so well! 

[shadowrider]

 I agree it sounds like y'all have a really good foundation going to your relationship. I also agree that subtle hints might work. If you're in the store deliberately take a shortcut past the stuffed animals and slow down looking at them a bit when you pass. Maybe touch a couple and mumble mmm soft or fluffy or whatever pops out.

 Leave your laptop or device open when you leave the room and have it open to something cute but not blatant DDlg. Maybe disney videos, or maybe princess canopies/mosquito nets for the bed. Just anything cute.

And if you really wanna push the envelope and find out, next time he mentions consequences lean in and whisper, "or what? will your little princess get a spanking?" His eyes will tell you all you need to know.

Good luck and just enjoy what you have found.

[Erasmeus71]

From what you I read he already sounds like he a dominant. You want him to be that wat. He already has taken control and punished you at times. When I dated Jenny I did not know anything about DDLG life either. I started to give her rules also Your bf has given you rules already before asking to marry. I waited to propse then gave some rules. I gentle put some in saying they needed to be in for her security. It looks like he is doing the same thing. Now if he knows DDLG like you is another story. He might need to go online and read and do some research. I am not telling you how I found out about this life style but I did.