Being open

[daddyross87]

Hi so thought I would ask a question. So to all the people in this community I would like to find out who is openly ddlg and how you broke to people why you chose this lifestyle. So for context, the reason I ask this question is I'm a very open and honest person who doesn't like to keeps things hidden away. I would also love to be able to share my ddlg experience and maybe get rid of some of the bad light this kink created and show that actually we are just normal like everyone else and show that this is an amazing beautiful community with wonderful vibrant people and show the outsiders that we not a bunch of weirdos who are into a creepy kink. Sorry it's so long and bare the grammar mistakes but I just love this life so much and would love to spread that love with others.

[Little kaiya]

It's an interesting question. My Daddy, Wife and I certainly don't hide but nor are we shouting it from the rooftops to everyone we meet.

We're also not out to educate everyone we meet or try to change their minds. We do enough educating on topics like polyamory and genderfluidity because those are things that can't be kept solely between us.

For us DDlg is a very emotional intimate connection so it isn't something that we share with "outsiders" as you put it. They don't need to know and may in fact not want to know so we keep it in our home and when out in public do it in a way that isn't intrusive for anyone else. It's like my daycollar, I wear and those who know get it and to those who don't it just looks like a piece of jewelry.

So, to answer you're question we don't hide being part of the DDlg community but nor do we throw it out wide and open to try and change minds of people who don't know, may not care or may be actively disinterested.

[Vampiress]

I think this is an iffy thing because I get what you're saying and trying to do, but as Kaiya said some people may not want to know or see it. Because it is a kink, people have to consent to being exposed to it really, and if you're exposing people to it that don't care to see it then you may be crossing a line. So just be careful with that, because it could cause you some negativity and drama if someone reacts badly. I mean in general, kinks aren't considered something you can just openly do in public without some kind of repercussion. I understand CG/l has a lot of SFW aspects that may not even be noticed as kink-related and you can do those things, but stuff that is blatantly obvious can be problematic.

[daddyross87]

Thank you for your advice guys,I mean shouting it from the rooftops is not somthing I wanted to do but part of me feels if people or outsiders see the more sweet and innocent side to ddlg and cgl it would get rid of some of that stigma it carries. It's only since I have joined your community and started speaking to all you wonderful people that I've seen a lot more innocence and kindness to this community. But I know I'm only one person and can't change the world but just like all other mainstream BDSM I cannot see what the big harm is as it's two consenting adults doing what adults like to do and if dungeons and stuff can become more public then why can't ddlg CG/l.

[Cebakes]

I’m seeing multiple posts about your desire to tell people about your relationship.  It almost feels like you are wishing or hoping for acceptance.  Personally, I would not be discussing this with people that are not into kink. Even then, there are some in the kink community that will roll their eyes at DDLG.  I’ve gotten emails and comments from sites, never here, telling me I’m sick,  I want to f my daughter, or I’m paying for sex.  

I also think it’s one thing if you want to tell your friends that you are a daddy, but it’s another thing when you are telling people that the woman you are with is a little.  That’s a private thing. People not in DDLG are truly not going to be able to understand certain things.  

Being honest, I think before you talk to others, you have to come to terms with yourself and DDLG.  It kind of feels like you are craving acceptance from others, or convincing yourself there is no stigma with DDLG.  You previously mentioned an asexual little that you sought acceptance from, and now you seem to be seeking acceptance from others.  

[daddyross87]

So I know that it must sound like that and I guess I kinda do want acceptance from the people I care about most. But I am also the happiest that I have been in years as I suffer with emotionally unstable personality disorder and ADHD and being in this role has really helped me come to terms with who I am as a person and helped relive the anxiety and stresses of everyday life which is making me think should this be so hidden and secretive if it is helping me into a good head space and working better than any tablet ever has 

[Cebakes]

That’s great that you feel happy now. I too am the happiest I’ve been in years.   You should always feel free to discuss here your adhd and personality disorder and how it impacts things. You are not alone with that. 

[daddyross87]

50 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

That’s great that you feel happy now. I too am the happiest I’ve been in years.   You should always feel free to discuss here your adhd and personality disorder and how it impacts things. You are not alone with that. 

Thank you I know it must sound like a ramble sometimes and I guess it kinda is. Because of the mh I get very conflicted on thoughts and feelings and it so nice to know that there are people out there like you who are not only willing to listen to my bs but be courteous enough to reply kind messages of support. So again thank you and I'm so glad that you have found your happy place to and I hope it last forever and you never have to be in a dark place again.