Do and don'ts

[daddyross87]

So hi guys my name is Ross and I have just entered an ddlg relationship with my little girl and was just wondering if you could point me in the right direction to be a good daddy. I also wanted to ask is it normal that I feel a bit weird not because of being a daddy I guess I'm just a bit concerned about the stigma attached and was wondering how I can deal with that feeling. Thank you in advance guys and look forward to hearing from you 

[Cebakes]

I think it all starts with communication. You have to have a deep understanding of her needs and how you can provide with guidance, direction, attention, affection, and discipline.  Are there things that she wrestles or struggles with that you can help her with?  Do you have a good feel for what she is like or needs when she is looking to go into little space or when she is there?  The list is endless, much of it can be found in articles on the Internet. Google DDLG and daddy. Obviously you can get tremendous advice here. 
 

I am curious what type of stigma you feel? 
 

Edited January 26, 2023 by Cebakes

[daddyross87]

So firstly thank you for the great advice and I am watching yt as we speak about being a good daddy. I do know her well and know and understand her little space as before I entered a ddlg relationship with her we was ex partners. I guess the stigma I feel is one of others judging me for choosing to enter this lifestyle choice with her and I guess the sexual stigma that also goes with it. I'm not completely sure what kind of relationship it's going to be be that a sexual or sexual and I know that to someone looking in that can be a weird thing.

[Guest Crybunbun]

My Dada was also kinda new to this and he is totally in CG/Daddy Mode when i regress and we are alone in voicechat/talk. When he is with friends or fellow employees he explains that i am a shy girlfriend and i am always happy about him helping me.
He talks about the sfw-soft-sides of DDLG/CGL since everything beyond that is just for us two.
Like me having a paci, regress or do little talk ? Just something between us two.
Also the sexual side is something we only have for eachother - no one else must need to know.
You can find some interesting tips online/on google - as said.
important is; that you talk with your Little -what she wants, needs, wishes - everything.
And then you can figure out what you are comfortable with or what not.

[Cebakes]

50 minutes ago, daddyross87 said:

So firstly thank you for the great advice and I am watching yt as we speak about being a good daddy. I do know her well and know and understand her little space as before I entered a ddlg relationship with her we was ex partners. I guess the stigma I feel is one of others judging me for choosing to enter this lifestyle choice with her and I guess the sexual stigma that also goes with it. I'm not completely sure what kind of relationship it's going to be be that a sexual or sexual and I know that to someone looking in that can be a weird thing.

The stigma thing you mentioned is an interesting topic and hopefully others will share their views and experiences.  Some see this as a kink, others see it as a lifestyle.  I have no interest in judging anyone’s kink or lifestyle, unless it is truly illegal or causing physical or mental harm. 

Unfortunately, there probably is a little bit of a negative view out there on DDLG.  Between porn videos, OF, creepy dudes, pervs, misconceptions, you name it, people have been exposed to the worst of DDLG. 

So who do you feel will be judging you about being in a DDLG relationship? People in my life do not know I am in a DDLG relationship, but a small circle know I am in an age gap relationship.   

[Nymph]

Nobody needs to know you are in this lifestyle, it's none of their biz 😕

Please keep any extreme stuff in private out of respect of everyone regardless if they know or are into the lifestyle, a lot of people are too eager to announce to the world what they do in bed, it's really awkward...

Maybe youtube is the problem? what do they say in these videos? I would read the stickies here first and compare, then ask about the differences on a post.

[daddyross87]

Again thank you I guess it's my close circle of friends I'm worried that are going to judge me. I'm not one to talk about my private or sexual encounters but as we all know people already make judgements before knowing the facts. I guess I need to sit down with my little girl and have a grown up discussion with her and find out what she wants from this ddlg relationship. Again thank you guys all comments are welcome and thank you for being understanding to a someone who is new to this life and welcoming me so kindly 

 

 

 

[Cebakes]

37 minutes ago, daddyross87 said:

Again thank you I guess it's my close circle of friends I'm worried that are going to judge me. I'm not one to talk about my private or sexual encounters but as we all know people already make judgements before knowing the facts. I guess I need to sit down with my little girl and have a grown up discussion with her and find out what she wants from this ddlg relationship. Again thank you guys all comments are welcome and thank you for being understanding to a someone who is new to this life and welcoming me so kindly 

 

 

 

I think you are going to find that DDLG is pretty private and personal.  At my age, I’m really not going to be talking to anyone about this, but my middle is 24 and tells her closest gal pals everything, but this aspect of our relationship is private.  

[daddyross87]

I only have told a few close friends who know me and also know my little. Deep down I know that I'm sure it will be fine.i guess maybe I'm over thinking it and they will accept the relationship between us but again Im just struggling with the stigma that come with ddlg as you said before it's a taboo subject which has been painted in a bad light but I love my little and I know she loves me and to me that's all that matters as this is our journey and no one else's.

[Cebakes]

43 minutes ago, daddyross87 said:

I only have told a few close friends who know me and also know my little. Deep down I know that I'm sure it will be fine.i guess maybe I'm over thinking it and they will accept the relationship between us but again Im just struggling with the stigma that come with ddlg as you said before it's a taboo subject which has been painted in a bad light but I love my little and I know she loves me and to me that's all that matters as this is our journey and no one else's.

Just curious, what if you just told your friends she was your girlfriend? Still trying to get my arms around why there would be an issue or the need for them to know about a DDLG relationship?  

[daddyross87]

I told my male friend as he too is a little so I guess him knowing was like having someone a can converse with and he has been in this community longer than I have and he would be understanding of the lifestyle but as I said he is an a sexual little and knows that our relationship maybe sexual and I'm worried because of that he may judge again I'm probs just over thinking it all and it's fine but I have mh so I guess it's just playing on my anxiety 

[LoverEcho]

You don’t have to share that information with him or other friends especially if you have any doubts about them understanding. It’s pretty typical in most kink communities that you converse within it to find likeminded people to befriend to be able to talk about it if you want. People outside the communities are bound to judge, it’s just how people are. 

Edited January 27, 2023 by LoverEcho

[Mr. Ducky]

I think it's also worth pointing out that the fact that you have at least some anxiety is a good thing. It's a sign that you don't want to be associated with the negative perceptions and stereotypes.

It also means you care what others think. Yes, on one level you can say it's none of their business, but you're human and as a daddy you're already probably more aware to the emotions, thoughts, and perceptions of others. In other words, being sensitive to others will make you a better daddy to your little girl.

You told that one person (the male little) for a reason. What do you think about asking him about what kind of judgment he's been subject to? I wouldn't be at all surprised if he hasn't been the object of some judging eyes.

[daddyross87]

That's complicated and I know he has been in a abusive ddlg relationship because his boyfriend wanted to always sexualised the relationship which he didn't like as he is an age regression little who is completely a sexual when little so I guess I told him so that I know I would always be on the right path because as you said I don't want to be associated with the negative stuff that ddlg brings 

[Cebakes]

3 hours ago, LoverEcho said:

You don’t have to share that information with him or other friends especially if you have any doubts about them understanding. It’s pretty typical in most kink communities that you converse within it to find likeminded people to befriend to be able to talk about it if you want. People outside the communities are bound to judge, it’s just how people are. 

I think there is also a privacy issue that comes into play here.  Not sure how my middle would feel about me sharing or talking about certain details of our relationship or sexual experiences with others.   It should be easy to draw boundaries with an asexual person and not discuss sex. 

As you touched on, People also need to come to terms with the fact, that unless you are in this lifestyle, it may be very hard for others to understand or accept.   

[daddyross87]

She was there we basically told him together as he and her are little friends too. I've also acted as a caregiver to my male friend around her house this is how this whole me being a daddy got started tbh.

[Cebakes]

3 hours ago, daddyross87 said:

She was there we basically told him together as he and her are little friends too. I've also acted as a caregiver to my male friend around her house this is how this whole me being a daddy got started tbh.

So that provides even more clarity on the dynamics of your relationship.  I think it will be up to the three of you to determine the path forward and how the interaction goes between the three of you. Probably still worthwhile to set up some boundaries. 

[daddyross87]

18 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

So that provides even more clarity on the dynamics of your relationship.  I think it will be up to the three of you to determine the path forward and how the interaction goes between the three of you. Probably still worthwhile to set up some boundaries. 

Na as I am no longer a caregiver to the male friend, it was just because I was one of the first people he come out to as little. Thank you for all your great advice I know it must sound stupid listening to a noob ramble on about their fears and hangups but you have helped me out so much and just in the couple of days I've been on this site I already feel I'm growing stronger everyday and already don't feel so hung up about the stigmas of CG/l ddlg and can't wait to bring the best out of my little girl and make her so happy 

[Nymph]

On 1/27/2023 at 8:20 AM, daddyross87 said:

he come out to as little.

I think this is your problem right here, people obsess over labels, DDlg is not a sexual orientation or a pronoun dealio to worry about. You don't "come out"... just like you don't need to tell the world everything that happens in your bedroom, how would you feel if your mother tells you she enjoys a good fisting? it's just weird unnecessary over sharing 😕

You do not sound stupid, society is so eager to point fingers and to cancel someone, it makes sense you feel you are walking on eggshells. Unless your kink is very extreme, you could even have it without labels and without ever knowing there was a lifestyle, DDlg can be quite vanilla... as in traditional gender roles where the guy provides and the woman is sweet and "plays house" all day.

Now if you want to share this and your partner agrees, look into munches and get friends in the lifestyle together!

[daddyross87]

On 1/27/2023 at 2:56 PM, Cebakes said:

So that provides even more clarity on the dynamics of your relationship.  I think it will be up to the three of you to determine the path forward and how the interaction goes between the three of you. Probably still worthwhile to set up som

3 hours ago, Nymph said:

I think this is your problem right here, people obsess over labels, DDlg is not a sexual orientation or a pronoun dealio to worry about. You don't "come out"... just like you don't need to tell the world everything that happens in your bedroom, how would you feel if your mother tells you she enjoys a good fisting? it's just weird unnecessary over sharing 😕

You do not sound stupid, society is so eager to point fingers and to cancel someone, it makes sense you feel you are walking on eggshells. Unless your kink is very extreme, you could even have it without labels and without ever knowing there was a lifestyle, DDlg can be quite vanilla... as in traditional gender roles where the guy provides and the woman is sweet and "plays house" all day.

Now if you want to share this and your partner agrees, look into munches and get friends in the lifestyle together!

 

So you are right I do care what people think because of my ADHD and eupd I tend to over think things a lot. With the telling people I was only on about certain close friends and even though deep down I know that they won't judge as I have a lot of diverse friends,I still over think it and think the worst, again because of the mh. As for ddlg being vanilla, I would have to disagree as it's only as I got older I understood ddlg because I got brought up in a real vanilla family. But in my late 20s was when I got introduced to BDSM and kinks and I would say there is more widely accepted kinks than this. I could see why people think what they think if they did not understand the whole dynamic of ddlg and it's only since I got properly introduced into it that I fully understood why people feel the need to age regress or age play and why the reasons people want to become daddy. I won't put my reason in this comment as it's already to long but I hope I shared my opinion without offending you in any way as I am interested in having proper meaningful conversations about this topic of BDSM.