Confused and Lost

[Guest Lil.vamp.90]

I'm very new to this forum, and I don't know if this is where to post, but I dont have anyone else to talk to about this...my little side has been private, from the world except between my daddy and me. We decided that our ddlg lifestyle was best kept in the sanctuary of his home, as my life is very traditional European lifestyle (I still live with my parents, as is the tradition and culture of my background) my daddy and I made it all work. 

Except...until he disregarded me and left me, now I'm lost and confused and I don't know who to talk to. 

I never thought I would know sadness and hurt like the sadness and hurt I feel right now. 

I'm very confused and I don't understand what happened in mine and my daddy's relationship. I don't understand how I went from being his little one, his baby girl, his good girl, to meaning absolutely nothing to him. 

I've been sitting here for the past few days, trying to understand, trying to figure out what happened. I replay all our conversations and our time together and nothing seemed wrong. Was I just blind by the love and care he gave me? Or did I really do something wrong?

Our last encounter, he held me so tightly, he didn't want to let me go, he said how happy he was and how much he loved me... I dont understand, and he won't talk to me. He refused to answer his phone. For four days, he shut me out, and during those four days, I celebrated my birthday and the torment and torture of not knowing if he was okay. 

He ended up sending me a text message, telling me to leave him be, that he no longer loved me. I asked what happened, why the sudden change, what did I do that was so wrong...he didn't reply. I told him that I wanted to see him face to face, and when I got to his house... he left all my belongings outside and he was nowhere to be found.  I tried calling him, so many times, and when he finally answered, he pinky promised to call me back, he never did. 

My heart hurts so much, he left my stuffie outside, he left everything that was us outside and it's hurting so much, I don't know what to do, or how to deal. 😢 I don't understand 😢 I don't understand how daddy said he wanted forever with me to not wanting me at all. 😢 

[Johnny5]

First, it takes a lot of courage to reach out this way when you are hurting so much.  Please know that this is a very supportive community and we are all happy to help you in any way we can.  There is no conclusion we can make that will make you feel better.  Although it does sound like there is nothing you should be blamed for.  These kinds of things happen all to often.  I wish there was an easy answer.  Just know that we are here for you.  This community is full of people who have gone through so much in our collective lives that I am sure we can help you move forward.  Please feel free to reach out to any of us.  And if you happen to need a good laugh, we are also a bunch of goofballs who love to banter back in forth in the chatroom from time to time.  I am very sorry that this happened.  And I hope you can find this community to be a good family to help you along.

[DaddyUmbreon]

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. When a relationship ends and we had the courage to be vulnerable, open our heart, and we grew from the experience it wasn't a failure. It was a success because we're more aware of who we are and what we're looking for.

It seems he is doing everything to avoid confronting you so that means that this is something on his side and is not anything that you did wrong. When someone "ghosts" another person, they're showing they lack communication skills and probably have some avoidant attachment issues. Take some time to grieve and support yourself, just remember it's not about you.

Sometimes you can do everything right and the other person can change. You may never get the answer or the closure that you are looking for. Often times that is the case. Also sometimes we say we want closure, when what we really want is a different outcome.

Tragic as it is, grieve. Cry it out. Be angry. Be sad. Do not deny or invalidate your own emotions and don’t make excuses or try to rationalize what he did. It was his choice. Don’t reflect or turn the blame on yourself. You did nothing wrong. It’s going to hurt for a bit but you will be ok. You will survive and move on and find something else in time. Don’t for one second blame yourself when there is no reason for you to do so. 

 

 

 

[MissNMTX]

I'm so sorry that this is hurting you so much. I can feel the pain I. Your words. I have no answers for you, just a feeling that there is something going on on his end that probably has nothing to do with you. If he refuses to speak with you, you may never know. Time does help and you'll be able to move forward even without answers. Take a breathe and give yourself time and space.

[Vampiress]

I am sorry he is putting you through this. We could try all day to guess what happened, but only he really knows. Don't blame yourself. The guy is choosing to not communicate with you and offer you answers or any semblance of closure. I feel like whatever happened is all on him, why else avoid telling you what's wrong? This has nothing to do with your worth of a person. He is disrespecting you and the relationship you had together, choosing to put your stuff outside and refusing to talk after he had just recently gotten done holding you and telling you he loved you.

I can't imagine doing this to someone you said you loved. Even if you fall out love, the other person deserves to know why things are ending. Don't turn on yourself and blame yourself. The blame lies entirely on him. He has had every opportunity to be honest with you, and he chooses to hide and be dishonest. Your feelings are entirely valid, and you deserve SO MUCH better than to be treated this way. Please be kind to yourself, engage in self-care, and allow yourself to grieve the loss of this relationship.

[Andriel_Isilien]

This is torture and I'm so sorry you are being put through this. 💔 It's tempting to grasp at questions to find reasons why this is happening and blame yourself but that mustn't be your focus right now. This is the time to get yourself somewhere safe and to grieve. Do you have family or friends that can take you in? To be dismissed so suddenly like this is scary and so unfair. Don't blame yourself when you are given so little answers on what happened. You are your first priority.

[J_Sophie]

There are good people here. Really nice people here. I respect how they are all choosing to focus on what's important, which is how you are feeling. I'm ashamed to admit when I first read your post I was thinking, "oh how dare he," and "no he didn't." But I suppose that's getting lost in the white noise. It hurts. It burns. You're not okay. That's the focus. And I am so sorry it does.

Edited January 11, 2023 by JustHuey

[DaddyDom3238]

That is so awful and I am so sorry this has happened to you, it is unfortunately not uncommon and there is no good answer. I would continue to reach out here on the forum to people that understand the dynamic and how beautiful it is. Please do not try to understand why he did this as there is no way to know what was in his mind, and do not put this on you. Obviously he handled this very poorly and it is all on him and not you. 

Just try to focus on the nice times you had together and know that you will find another Daddy that will cherish, love, adore, and respect you.  This is such an amazing dynamic full of wonderful people and you can and will intense and fulfilling relationships in it, however like all of us your heart will be broken. However, that will just lead you to appreciate and cherish the one who captures your heart. 

[Guest Lil.vamp.90]

I just wanted to say thank you, to all of you. I didn't honestly think there would be much of a reply, again, I didn't  realize that this community was that supportive (please don't misunderstand, I've been on many different forums and there has never been this kind of love and care)

I haven't heard from him, I'm not going to hold my breath either, he pinky promised he'd call, he never did, so, I'm just going to take everyone's advice and concentrate on myself. The only thing that's hurting me now, more thn anything  - is that he knew I would have supported and stuck by him with whatever he is dealing with, instead though, he tossed me away. That's what kills the most. He didn't give me a chance to help him. 

[Shybutcreative]

I read what happened.    I just felt an overwhelming need to send a hug to you.  I never had a daddy but I have lost love ones and left with a gaping hole and lots of confusion.   Hug yourself and know you’re amazing as you are and you will grow from the pain.   Give yourself time to grieve but don’t get stuck along the way.   * big bear hugs sending positive energy *