Am I overreacting?

[Vampiress]

26 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

Hopefully she does reach out to you or others and discuss this. The guy is almost certainly a deviate and a poster child for a pervert sneaking around in the DDLG community.

That's really scary, and if that's the case I hope she gets out of that situation ASAP.

[ProfessorRex]

I don't typically chime in on these forums--I like that you have spaces like this to support each other, so I don't want to intrude much.  In fact, I was looking for someone else's content and it led me here lol.  Anyway, just thought I could offer some insight...

Caveat: OP, I'm definitely on your side here.  I'm just going to play a little devil's advocate in case it may help.

I did my best to get all the details of the situation, but I may have missed this.  I'm curious what the timelines are, like, whether his daughter was involved from the beginning of the relationship or if she became more involved later?  For instance, if the daughter was a factor from the beginning and he just seemed to "change" into more of a biological father than a Daddy, then his original intentions could certainly be questioned.

However, I can think of some other scenarios that might also be at play here.  The thing that jumps out at me most is that, if his daughter is using or playing with your Little things, it implies your little age and the daughter's age are similar--or perhaps that she is growing into that age range.  If so, well, that'd be confusing for a lot of people.  Whether or not you two are sexual in little space, there's going to be a kind of intimacy he has with you that he'll never have with her.  If he's already overwhelmed with being a father, the effort to care for you will seem daunting.  It's possible that he has no idea how to approach this with you at all, so instead of talking to you about it he defaults to his function as a father.  The munchkins always come first.  This leads me to my point:

At the end of the day, it needs to be talked about.  It should be his responsibility to start it, but if he doesn't know how to you may have to do it for him.  Just make sure you're prepared for wherever that conversation leads.

Either way, I hope it plays out for the best   And props to all of you in the forum helping each other out!  Y'all are awesome sauce.

-Prof

Edited January 31, 2023 by ProfessorRex

[Sir Charlie]

Dino,

You are allowed to feel these feelings. You are not wrong or crazy for feeling neglected. If something in your relationship bothers you, you have the right to address it- it takes two to tango, after all. 

This cycle of being pushed to the sidelines to make room for his actual daughter is troubling. It's not because he's fulfilling his fatherly duties, per se, but because he could easily make room for the both of you, yet simply doesn't. No one here should be a higher priority than the other. Why does she get all of these warm memories while you have to stand aside and feel forgotten???

Lack of eye contact is not encouraging, either. That's a sign of disconnection and avoidance. However, what shocks me most is him doing all of this, then responding with deflection of blame and threatening to leave you! He didn't like his bad behavior being called out, it seems. That was not the right reaction. He has the nerve to call you a brat when he sidesteps your feelings by handing out your coping mechanisms without your consent or even your knowledge, yet he comfortably continues with this double-standard.

He doesn't sound like a good Daddy at all. Being a Dominant does not mean that one controls somebody like a toy just to feed their own ego, then casts them aside when they're bored. None of his behavior is befitting of a Daddy. It is incredibly selfish, and seemingly remorseless. Does he normally act like this when you two are alone? What's your general opinion of him?

Some serious, two-way, adult conversation is needed to end this one-sidedness. Sit him down, look him in the eye, and calmly go over everything that is concerning you. He is not allowed to leave until he promises to correct these issues, and he'd better be apologizing profusely. In the end, this talk should lead to improved behaviors and open communications that don't leave people feeling abandoned. You have the right to a comfortable relationship, so a simple discussion of what's bothering you is not unreasonable, and nobody can say that that's untrue.

You have the strength to make things right. You know what is best for you, and I believe that you will make good choices. My sympathies for this awful situation, Dino. Keep your head up.

[Cebakes]

I’m hopeful Dino is doing well and moved on from this guy.  

[Erasmeus71]

Well if you want to talk you can always talk to me too.