Poly, ENM, open, swingers, etc.

[Nymph]

As you guys know I am married and looking for a second partner, so the traditional way to look might not work for me. I very shyly added to my fetlife account an about me, after years of having it sitting there empty.

When I posted my ad here I added a picture there too, so I guess I am just taking baby steps. Someone mentioned the app Feeld to me but I am not very comfortable with it, my town is ridiculously small and I worry about our son getting told something weird, we already stand out quite a bit.

I know there is not many, but for non-monogamous people here, how did you get started? did it just happen? is it unrealistic of me to want a LDR connection?

I am getting a bit tired of most people assuming I am just after sex, they often ask me if my husband likes to watch and stuff. It's a bit like a dick pic isn't? and then there is of course the people who just treat me like a cheater because they don't believe me hubby is ok with it 😕

[Skeezix]

I was on #open for a bit. Nothing came of it, but it's an ENM dating app, so no one there should think you're a cheater. I can't speak to how DDlg friendly it is though.

[Little kaiya]

It just happened for.my Wife, Daddy and I. None of us went looking for anything. My Daddy and I met and He expressed an interest. I talked to my Wife and the rest is history.

[Dannykinz]

My daddy and I opened our relationship back in May due to me being polyamorous. I understand the struggle with finding other partners. I’ve had two littles at different points since then and both decided they couldn’t make time for a relationship. 🙁 

Between people only thinking I’m after sex, only thinking of sex with me, and people just not wanting to commit its been a struggle. 
 

it is not unrealistic to want an LDR. I’m currently looking for a little for a long distance relationship. How we got started with poly is having thorough open communication with each other and taking things a day at a time. We’ve tried dating apps. It’s hit or miss on non poly sites and apps. 

[Nymph]

I have never heard of open, thanks @Skeezixwill give it a try. At this point, it has crossed my mind that I might need to settle for vanilla and either convert them if they are interested or just enjoy the romance if they are not.

@DannykinzLDR can be so special! literally all my dating (including hubby) has been like this. I think the distance helps me make a connection and for things to work better. I might be demisexual or something close to it and I do love to travel so for me it's a plus but I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Maybe I just need to be patient and it will just happen for me too @Little kaiya I can only hope, I think looking too hard risks me settling for someone who might not be a match so I am trying to be patient.

[Barney048]

People indulging in kink who are honest with tjemself about their needs are generally very open minded about stuff like this, even if they label themself as monogamous. 

Generally you want to be open about your wants and needs from your secondary partner, but you also want them to see you are a person and appreciate you as such. A lot of people will fetishese women in your sittuation and approach you with wrong intentions. So if people start asking inappropriate questions before a certain amount of intimacy and trust is established just blow them off. 

And you don't have to settle for anything. Don't let your desire for a seccond partner compromise what/need in your want in a partner. 

[Grogugirl16]

My husband and I are poly so I do understand your struggles. Just know it  takes time to find the right people

[LilDemonBaby]

im sorry youre going thru this. i myself am poly and i told my ex straight up and he made it clear he didnt want to do that unless its a woman (red flag) so i played as the monogamous person and it was miserable. come to find out he had been cheating on me so now im not comfortable with multiple women. im not trying to be greedy, its just how i feel. i just dont know how to love just one person, and thats ok. i hope youre doing ok.