Advice to help my Baby Girl

[Radio371]

Good afternoon everyone

I am new to the dd/lg lifestyle, and I absolutely adore the dynamic between both parties. However there is a subject that my baby girl has recently brought up to me that I'm really struggling to handle and help her with.

In short, when she was a freshman in college she was taken advantage of and sexually assaulted by a man who claimed to be her friend and was over 5 years older than her at the time. This is not a foreign subject to me since I have had many friends who I have helped cope with this subject, but she is very adamant that she is to be blamed because she never drew a line with him and it hurts knowing that she feels that way about herself. I just want her to understand that she is not to be blamed, that what occurred was not her fault and that I would go to the end of the earth to make her know that no one will ever hurt her again. I'm just having a hard time getting her to think positively about herself and know that it was not her fault. I would love any advice that anyone would be willing to offer, I love to see my baby girl happy.

 

Thank you all,

Radio371

[LolitasDaddy]

Pump your brakes. Take it very slow. Don't expect any sort of quick resolution to this. Unfortunately this isn't something that you can "fix". Make sure she knows you are there to talk. Gently talk to her occasionally about it. Don't push it. She's very possibly not ready to deal with this subject at all.

[Radio371]

Thank you so much for your advice, it's very much appreciated. I'll be sure to ensure that she knows that I'm always here to talk with her about the subject and not be too pushy. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I just want her to be aware that she is loved and safe, unlike her past relationships. This is also her first dd/lg relationship and I want it to be the best experience possible for her

[LolitasDaddy]

I understand, and commend you for wanting to help.

[Guest Penny]

Ask her what she would say to another girl who told her the same story. Would she blame that girl?

 

It's common for rape victims to blame themselves, he'll I still do and I was a child when it happened so logically no it wasn't in any way my fault but here we are.

 

It just takes time. Maybe suggest counseling but seriously ask her that question.

 

If a friend of yours told you the same story would you tell them it wa there fault?

[Radio371]

Thank you both so much for your advice! It definitely helps out a lot! Since the topic came up last night I'm going to give her time until she wants to discuss it again but if she does decide to talk about it I'll definitely ask her that question so thanks a ton, I guess it just hit me really hard because 1. I love her and 2. She described what he did to her and just thinking that a man would do something like that just sickened me and I can't bear to see her cry and be hurt like that. Thank you both so much for all the advice and support, you are amazing!

[misstoria]

As an abuse victim myself, it is something you never truly get over. You being there for her is the most important thing. Make sure she knows that you don't blame her for what happened and that you care about her no matter what. As for helping her see things differently I can't stress enough how helpful a therapist has been for me. Especially with her past and with being a little, therapy can be very helpful. I suggest she try to find someone who specializes in rape victims that could help her. Healing is a long process and I know from my experience while my loved ones tried, sometimes you need a third party to help you see the truth of the situation.

[Radio371]

Thanks a ton misstoria! She's actually been going to counseling at our college for some time now and she says it helps a lot, I'm not entirely sure if she told them about what had happened to her but I'll ask her about that soon. Also she did mention what happened to both her sister and her best friend over the weekend and I am immensely proud of how brave she was to do that and she said that she feels so much closer to her sister after talking about it and getting a fresh perspective. I make sure I do everything I can to let her know that I love her unconditionally and that I won't let anyone hurt her again. It's an extremely sensitive topic to discuss so I appreciate you being so open about it and you deserve all the support in the world