Caregivers with multiple littles

[Flame wolf]

So I was getting along great with this mommy I met on reddit. We had alot in common, and shared very similar interests. We talked for a long time the first day we met, but then the following day she barely spoke to me . Today I figured out that she had other Littles so I told her I couldn't continue talking to her because I know that personally I can't share a cg. What is everyone's view on cg with multiple Littles. I personally feel like a mommy/daddy and Littles bond is very special and when they causualy just have multiple other Littles it's less special, but that's just me,and I don't judge any Littles or cgs with relationships. Whatever works. I just wanted input,  to see how others feel, and to make sure I'm not just being ridiculous 

[Nymph]

A lot of people in DDlg are monogamous... some are poly but do not keep more than one little/daddy even if they have other partners, they are exclusive to each other in the dynamic, some are not.

So I feel you might be asking the wrong question, the question you want to ask (yourself because everyone else doesn't really matter) and whatever your answer might be is:

- am I comfortable with my partner having other littles and/or partners?

I can assure you it will not be ridiculous, it is your preference and your partner should respect it.

I do feel honesty is important in any relationship, even friendship. So that mommy should have ben open and clear from the start that she has other littles. Just like I am very against cheating but also I am flexible with monogamy, I do not consider polyamorous, triads or whatever might be "cheaters" because that is what works for them and everyone in that relationship is there because they are comfortable with the arrangement (and if they are not they should leave).

 

 

Edited December 21, 2022 by Nymph
forgot to type the important question XD

[beanbean]

thats why its important too take to your care giver or whoever and let them know your exepectations and your needs .its okay to have preference's but its up to you to communicate them so care givers no where you stand

[Little kaiya]

I don't think if caregivers or littles have multiple partners that it makes it any less special.

Personally, my Daddy, Wife and I are in a polyamorous relationship but we keep everything solely between the three of us. 

I wouldn't want a caregiver that had multiple littles but I also wouldn't say that makes it casual for people who do or any less special, that just feels judgmental to me.

[Flame wolf]

20 minutes ago, beanbean said:

thats why its important too take to your care giver or whoever and let them know your exepectations and your needs .its okay to have preference's but its up to you to communicate them so care givers no where you stand

Yea, I get very little traffic so I guess I just got caught up in the fantasy,  but your right I should of checked 

[Flame wolf]

1 minute ago, Little kaiya said:

I don't think if caregivers or littles have multiple partners that it makes it any less special.

Personally, my Daddy, Wife and I are in a polyamorous relationship but we keep everything solely between the three of us. 

I wouldn't want a caregiver that had multiple littles but I also wouldn't say that makes it casual for people who do or any less special, that just feels judgmental to me.

I said that personaly it feels that way to me ,but that I don't judge anyone that has a poly relationship . I'm sorry if I came off as rude or judgmental. I have no right to judge others. I'm sorry

[beanbean]

24 minutes ago, Flame wolf said:

Yea, I get very little traffic so I guess I just got caught up in the fantasy,  but your right I should of checked 

not your fault and it happens a lot but if they know what you need and want its easier for them  too

[Vampiress]

Makes sense if someone is poly, but it depends on if that Mommy was letting those other littles have relationships, or if she was the only one allowed... also depends on if she was being honest with all of her littles. Occasionally I do see some people in this community who seem to selfishly just collect littles without really giving much thought to anyone's needs or wants but their own. Personally, I would not be able to share, but I don't begrudge those who choose to share in their own dynamics.

[Guest Enchanted_MoonFlower]

On 12/21/2022 at 1:57 PM, Flame wolf said:

So I was getting along great with this mommy I met on reddit. We had alot in common, and shared very similar interests. We talked for a long time the first day we met, but then the following day she barely spoke to me . Today I figured out that she had other Littles so I told her I couldn't continue talking to her because I know that personally I can't share a cg. What is everyone's view on cg with multiple Littles. I personally feel like a mommy/daddy and Littles bond is very special and when they causualy just have multiple other Littles it's less special, but that's just me,and I don't judge any Littles or cgs with relationships. Whatever works. I just wanted input,  to see how others feel, and to make sure I'm not just being ridiculous 

I remember when I first started out I had a Daddy and he accidently called me by a different name. Once I learned he was talking to others, I ended things quickly. This was in the beginning and I wasn't being careful or looking out for red flags. Now I'm much more aware of things, and I like to take things slow. I like to get to know people and see if we're compatible and a good match for one another. Everyone wants different things and there's some differences that we may not like or agree on. Just make sure your careful and keep your options open until you've met your match and what works for you. I'm sure you'll meet the right Mommy one day. ❤️

[Sir Charlie]

(OPINION)

I've toyed with the idea of having two littles. (Well... I'd need one, first of all.) It would be beautiful and sweet to see my babes playing together, holding hands everywhere we go, napping together, just being loving sisters-- all of that blessed nonsense. However, I'd also be perfectly fine if it were one-and-done. When more people enter the relationship, complexity increases exponentially. No two littles are the same, as we know: each demands a bespoke regimen of care and attention. When their two sets of needs combine, I would hope that they're at least similar. If they get jealous of each other; if they fight often; if they refuse to communicate with each other; if they don't show each other love, this will invite problems to develop that will surely, if not addressed, break our relationship. There can be incompatibilities, of course, but they must not be so irreconcilable that they topple the whole dynamic. Everyone must get along, and be okay with getting along.

And all of this is my responsibility. If I'm running at high rev just to care for one little, I'll be in over my head trying to care for a second one. Assuming that their needs are reasonable: if I've reached a point where their care becomes a lower priority than my own, and that I find myself frequently stepping out for air (so to speak), then I'm already past my limit. I'm no good to them if my own health is struggling, and I've made a mistake taking this responsibility-- I've failed them. Three years ago, I was stressed beyond my limit, everyday, for over a year. It nearly ruined me; it was utterly miserable. The stressors were not people, per se. But, if they had been, some feelings could've gotten deeply hurt. So, I would not commit to this style of relationship before I knew for certain that I am capable of handling it with gusto.

It certainly isn't impossible, oh no! Anyone can have a big, happy family. It just needs a strong leader and everyone's trust to keep it thriving.

[Flame wolf]

12 minutes ago, Sir Charlie said:

(OPINION)

I've toyed with the idea of having two littles. (Well... I'd need one, first of all.) It would be beautiful and sweet to see my babes playing together, holding hands everywhere we go, napping together, just being loving sisters-- all of that blessed nonsense. However, I'd also be perfectly fine if it were one-and-done. When more people enter the relationship, complexity increases exponentially. No two littles are the same, as we know: each demands a bespoke regimen of care and attention. When their two sets of needs combine, I would hope that they're at least similar. If they get jealous of each other; if they fight often; if they refuse to communicate with each other; if they don't show each other love, this will invite problems to develop that will surely, if not addressed, break our relationship. There can be incompatibilities, of course, but they must not be so irreconcilable that they topple the whole dynamic. Everyone must get along, and be okay with getting along.

And all of this is my responsibility. If I'm running at high rev just to care for one little, I'll be in over my head trying to care for a second one. Assuming that their needs are reasonable: if I've reached a point where their care becomes a lower priority than my own, and that I find myself frequently stepping out for air (so to speak), then I'm already past my limit. I'm no good to them if my own health is struggling, and I've made a mistake taking this responsibility-- I've failed them. Three years ago, I was stressed beyond my limit, everyday, for over a year. It nearly ruined me; it was utterly miserable. The stressors were not people, per se. But, if they had been, some feelings could've gotten deeply hurt. So, I would not commit to this style of relationship before I knew for certain that I am capable of handling it with gusto.

It certainly isn't impossible, oh no! Anyone can have a big, happy family. It just needs a strong leader and everyone's trust to keep it thriving.

I think you put this absolutely wonderfully. Laying out the fantasy of two littles certainly made me wonder "would that be so bad?" And I think I would actually be open to it, if it was just two littles, but even then i would be Hella worried about all the concerns you listed. Definitely some good food for thought  

[Sir Charlie]

On 12/26/2022 at 2:06 PM, Flame wolf said:

I think you put this absolutely wonderfully. Laying out the fantasy of two littles certainly made me wonder "would that be so bad?" And I think I would actually be open to it, if it was just two littles, but even then i would be Hella worried about all the concerns you listed. Definitely some good food for thought  

Yup, comfort and communication are essential to healthy relationships of any kind. It's just important to consider all possible outcomes, without kidding ourselves, and learn to act with caution and knowledge so as to prevent heartache; such is my own mission here. Glad it helped. Enjoy your day!

Edited December 28, 2022 by Sir Charlie

[DaddyDom3238]

I have had two littles in the past, however they were friends and we were all local to each other so we had playdates etc, they ended up moving in together as well so it was all a very wonderful relationship and dynamic for several years. I will say it is not something I want anymore as this dynamic is extremely intense because of the trust, submission, and love that is required for it to be successful and I like to focus all of that energy on one partner. 

Can it be done yes, however if you are not all in and question a poly dynamic at all I would not get involved in it. If you are questioning it in the beginning then it is most likely not something for you. Every relationship is different and none is is right or wrong unless someone is being hurt of course. Follow your heart but trust your instincts and your head. 

This is an amazing community and you will find a CG that cherishes and appreciates you for your