Are people really into ddlg

[Vibelove]

So idk where to start really or what to say but lately I've been thinking and feeling that looking for a little or a dom nowadays it's so difficult and it feels like people don't want to know each other anymore so they just ghost or don't give themselves a chance to see where things go or if you are right for each other . Maybe I'm wrong or I've been talking to a wrong crowd of people but I think ddlg has really lost its meaning. 

[LoverEcho]

I’m not sure exactly what you mean by the statement “ddlg has really lost its meaning.” Nothing you mentioned has anything to do with ddlg. Finding partners and forming relationships is difficult, period. Throw in a niche lifestyle and kink, that difficulty goes up. 
 

Ghosting is a big thing that happens on any kind of site that allows you to meet people. It’s not a good thing, but it can be explained by the prevalence of communication issues in our society. When you’re dealing with the internet, people find it very easy to just delete a person without giving reason why. They don’t have to confront that uncomfortable idea of rejecting someone. 
 

As for the reason behind the ghosting? It could be a number of things. High standards, a behavior that isn’t liked, perceived incompatibility, phishing…I could go on. I’m not here to defend the behavior, I think people should just be blunt about why they don’t want to talk to someone anymore. What I will say, though, is that it’s best to view it as a dodged bullet. People that ghost tend to have communication issues that would only make a relationship difficult. 
 

Bit of a tangent, I know you didn’t ask for explanations but I think it’s important to think about these things nonetheless.   

Edited December 11, 2022 by LoverEcho

[Vampiress]

I think @LoverEcho summed it up very well. Ghosting seems to be an issue regardless of whether the people are vanilla or kinky. In this modern day and age it's easy to just ignore messages or block someone, especially if you don't know them IRL or have never met. I think DD/lg is still very serious for those who take it seriously and really live the lifestyle, but of course there'll be those outliers of people who are much less into it or don't engage in it the way you might expect. I see a lot of people here on the forum who are living their best DD/lg or trying to get there, but I also come across those who I feel are here for what they perceive as an easy way to be taken care of, or easy sex, or whatever other reason they're here for that seems less about DD/lg and more about some other intention. Unfortunately, you'll never escape this. You'll find this in every kink and even in the vanilla dating world. Everyone has their own motives, and some are more genuine and serious than others.

[Cebakes]

I don’t think DDLG has lost its meaning for the majority of members here, with that being said, DDLG means different things to different people.  Lifestyle, Kink, taboo play, love, sugar baby, etc….As mentioned, this is a niche lifestyle and people here are looking for various things. Ghosting is somewhat common on the Internet today, especially on free sites. 

If you don’t line up with what someone is looking for from a location, looks, body, chemistry, career, etc,   people can be quick to move on.  It’s not right, but it is what it is.   

I was apart from my middle S from April until about a month ago and was  focused on finding a local middle,  female kinksters,  and women closer to my age.  I was pretty disappointed in what I came across out there.  S experienced the same thing with younger guys.

I’ve never really had an issue with ghosting. I’m always very direct on what I’m looking for and I’m pretty selective on who I communicate with.   If I’m chatting with someone on the Internet or have met someone and it’s not a fit, I will email them and tell them it’s not a fit and wish them the best. It only takes a minute and several sentences to quickly end things.  

I have to ask, have you taken a critical look at yourself? Do you see any type of pattern when you are ghosted?  Have you taken a hard look at your preferences, demands, expectations, your communication,  people you are talking with,etc? Do you overlook early red flags?  
 

This site is a great site to use as a resource, but it could take some time to meet the right person. 

[beanbean]

as every one else said no it still has a meaning . but life is hard lol .i mean its a good thing that some people ghost quickly becuse in manyways most likley they are not for you .  its better then when they string you a llong me thinks . just take your time look for the right person and don't rush it . and yes use this site as resourse lots of smart posts hear to make your journer smooth

[Andriel_Isilien]

It's not Ddlg that has lost its meaning. People on FetLife are saying that BDSM has lost its meaning, but I don't think it's even that. I think it's healthy relationships in general, both platonic and romantic. It is people being secure in who they are and what they want. Families and friendships have so much drama on their own while in person. Even though we have Internet and instant messaging with our phones, proper communication is much harder these days. Patience is a rare trait to have because we are used to getting results so quickly with technology. Accountability seems nonexistent as people can say whatever they want behind a screen and then disappear. They don't take it seriously. So, trying to find a relationship through online means (especially for lifetime relationships) is most difficult to navigate. There is a A LOT of weeding and waiting for someone (or some people) to match your energy in getting to know you like you said. I say that relationships worth having are not rushed.

[DaddysMonkey]

I’m going to be annoying and give the most simple answer , 

CG/L has not lost its meaning.

 

Ive been in this lifestyle for 11+ years and not a single day has passed where it’s lost its meaning. For some people it’s engraved in your soul , for some it’s fleeting and comes and goes. Does that mean the meaning is gone ? Absolutely not. Maybe you’re right and you’re hanging around the wrong people. 

[Little kaiya]

I have to agree. I'm in a long term DDlg relationship and also a D/s relationship signaled by being collared. Both relationships are VERY meaningful to my Wife, my Daddy and I. If you want DDlg to have meaning it does and will. If you don't, the it won't.

[Winter Lillee]

Haiiii 

I'm into DDLG 

Everyone in this forum is into it. 

There are so many people in the world who love so many different activities as part of their intimacy, and have different perspectives on what it "means," to them. 

You may have an idea in your head about what you want out of a DDLG connection, however the right person for you might have different meanings and understandings of things. The point is that you will work together to make each other happy, to fulfil each other's needs. Some things will be easy, and others will need compromise, or adjustments or extra attention. 

Rather than looking for the perfect DDLG companion (or any DDLG partner), look for someone who loves you and who you love back. If they love you, they will do things to see you be happy in this world. 

If someone is truly "into" you, and loves you for who you are - then they will be "into" DDLG - because it's a part of you and your identity. 

[Holdontight]

10 hours ago, Andriel_Isilien said:

It's not Ddlg that has lost its meaning. People on FetLife are saying that BDSM has lost its meaning, but I don't think it's even that.

A lot more people are into kink now - especially after covid - and whenever a subculture grows rapidly, established members feel like it's losing meaning and focus. Often they're right, but popularity has a tendency to wash out toxic elements and broaden the appeal, without erasing what's at the core.

It's the same with ghosting, rudeness, unsafe behaviour etc. More participation makes those things more visible, but also means more people available for worthwhile interactions and relationships.