Need Help Expressing my needs to Daddy

[Emmmybear]

Hello Everyone!

I’m new here and created an account to discuss my concerns with like minded people like me. I’ve been in a relationship with my Daddy for 5 years. I opened up to him on our 2 year anniversary that I was a little. We started off slow, and he was very accommodating and accepting to the new idea of being my daddy. Since then, we have progressed so far. But sometimes I find it hard to express what I need from him clearly. This was my kink before it was his, and I basically taught him everything he knows about DDLG. I find myself wanting and needing more from him but not being able to physically ask for it. Sometimes he doesn’t pick up the hints that I’m in little space and for me, it defeats the whole purpose to have to ask him to “baby me”. I often find myself feeling like a burden and like being my daddy is a chore for him even though he reassures me he’s into it as much as I am. I guess what I’m looking for is advice on how to express myself clearly without having to physically and directly ask him what I need from him to avoid those feelings of insecurity and rejection. 

[DaddyRaven]

Have you tried writing down what you want to say and giving that to him to read?  Many times this makes it much easier for people when they have a hard time verbalizing certain things.  

[Nymph]

It's not realistic to expect him to read your mind, you can however talk about things you do to watch out for "clues" without asking him directly. This still requires you to directly communicate but you would only have to do it once. I don't know your little age, but if you are a babygirl it would be much more obvious than you being a middle, so there is that.

So first you need to figure out yourself, what are obvious clues you are sliding into little space? do you grab a stuffie? do you dress more playfully? do you crave cupcakes or candy? start coloring? playing games? watching disney movies? listening to certain kind of music?... as you can see there is just endless things that could be a hint but everyone is different.

Another not so sexy option, would be to schedule "little time" it could be a day a week or starting at a time you are both free and are done with your adulting and can relax like that together. 

Those feelings of insecurity and rejection are an issue you need to work on, if you don't, there is nothing in the world he can do to fix it

Edited November 27, 2022 by Nymph

[Barney048]

This is a common issue when you "come out" once your relationship is already far along.  It's promising that he keeps an open mind and the above stated suggestions are on point. However if I were you I'd express how much this means to me and ask him to learn about it on his own. Have him converse with other people in the community and learn like that. If you see that he is actively trying to be a better Dom to you it's also easier for you to be open with him about your needs. If he just does what you say you want him to ofcourse it'll just feel like a burden. 

[Redneck-Kitty]

I just wanted to say thank you for starting this topic. I have the same problem expressing myself. Sometimes I will text my Daddy things that I don't feel like I can verbally say . 

[pryhncess]

I second the idea of texting. I can forget what I want to say as I'm saying it, so texting helps me get out exactly what I want to say. Actually, I second all of the advice given, from asking him to do some research on his own to having a visual clue that can let him know what you're needing in the moment. Communication is important in any type of relationship and it sounds like he's already shown an openness and interest, I'm sure you two can figure out a system that works for you! 🏵️

[Guest Lamps]

You can also think about using a word or phrase to indicate that you are in little space or wanted to be babied. Kind of like a safe word but with the goal of initiating him caddying more. I have found this to be helpful and it can be something that is baby-like that doesn't take you out of your space and makes it clear for him. And then over time, maybe he will say the word as a way to show he wants to initiate babying you.

[MissNMTX]

I think it's a very good sign that he's so open to participate in this with you. It's a very good sign of how much he values and respects you and your relationship. I understand how important it is to feel known and seem without always having to explain yourself. It is however, unfair and unrealistic to expect anyone, even your Daddy to be a mind reader. I agree with @Barney048that you should encourage him to learn and study on his own. He may well enjoy learning about himself and the dynamic. Maybe seeing you learn will spur him on. Also, @Nymphand @Lampswere solid about using some sort of reverse "safe word" to clue him in to your shift of needs or mindset. He might even find his own parts he enjoys. I've had "daddy's" ask me to color for him or to play them songs that make me feel certain ways. 

You are deep into this and obviously have a very special valuable relationship. With time and some dedicated intention you continue to grow and learn ( it's a continual journey) and you'll do great.

[beanbean]

yes like other people have said write what you have to say down so you can try to get what you want to say across . make sure you let him know your happy and you just have some ideas you think can make it better.