Does anyone struggling between deciding if they want to pursue a ddlg relationship or not?

[Flawda Guy]

Hey y'all, I was wondering if anyone had similar struggles and how they deal with it? Ddlg has always been something I've been interested in and I think I really want to pursue in a relationship but it feels hard trying to do it in real life, as I know it's kinda niche and some people have weird attitudes towards it, so I can't really tell many people about it. 

I just feel like the average person I would meet in real life would get weird about it and like the only way to try and pursue it is online. Anyone have thoughts they would like to share? I'd greatly appreciate some advice, thanks! 

[Guest Lilkira_girl]

I to also struggle with pursuing a ddlg relationship i would really like one and to find that Dom but as you mentioned it's hard to be able to talk to someone about it in person so many people do have there own thoughts on it negative and positive but also it sometimes feel really hard to meet other people in the community in person as well it almost feels like sometimes there no one in the community around you but pursuing ddlg online is so hard from a little perspective you have some constantly ghosting you and disappearing it really makes you want to find someone in person but then its hard to find someone in person to so you're back online its hard but all I can do is wait and believe I'll find that daddy or mommy for me

[Andriel_Isilien]

It is tricky to navigate in a vanilla world outside of the Internet. But I wouldn't want to be with someone who wouldn't or couldn't support me in what littlespace does for me. Nor would I want to force upon someone a role or lifestyle that they couldn't fit. I trust that being myself with this on my own will attract the right people. Fetlife has brought to me more people in my area that I can be friends with and see in person. Then at least I don't feel so isolated. 

[Flawda Guy]

25 minutes ago, Andriel_Isilien said:

It is tricky to navigate in a vanilla world outside of the Internet. But I wouldn't want to be with someone who wouldn't or couldn't support me in what littlespace does for me. Nor would I want to force upon someone a role or lifestyle that they couldn't fit. I trust that being myself with this on my own will attract the right people. Fetlife has brought to me more people in my area that I can be friends with and see in person. Then at least I don't feel so isolated. 

Yeah FetLife is kinda weird imo, I do think there's some local related stuff, but I get anxious doing social stuff sometimes, especially for something personal like kink / ddlg 😕

[pomegranate]

I hear you. Dating is hard enough on its own, adding a consensual nuanced dynamic rooted in trust and communication makes it even trickier. It feels really bleak and hopeless sometimes, but I try to stay positive and hope that I can meet someone nice that shares my same interestS

[Cebakes]

I think it is a very narrow niche and lifestyle. It is certainly something that I am navigating right now. The issue is, once you’ve had a great DDLG relationship, it’s hard to walk away from the lifestyle or future relationships.

Most people have never heard of DDLG and the majority of people who have heard of it, most likely have a misconception of what it is.   I am just out of a spectacular 3.5 year DDLG relationship and I am pursuing what I would view as women that are kinky and submissive as well as, Those truly with experience or a desire to be in a DDLG relationship. 
 

At this stage of my life, I pretty much put everything out there on the sites.  I don’t hold back, I am what I am and don’t care who knows, or who sees my pictures.  Everyone is not in that position.   I’m on Tinder, Fetlife, FEELD, and AAF.  Bumble and hinge or a little bit tamer, but I will sprinkle in buzzwords that show I am kind of kinky.

I live outside of Philadelphia and I am surprised at what I would view as a somewhat small number of women out there actively engaged in the DDLG world.  I recommend not giving up on your desires.  

[DaddyDom3238]

Hi,

I struggle with it at times for different reasons, I have been in the lifestyle for about 20 years and have had many amazing relationships in the lifestyle. My previous long term relationship was five years and she was a little/sub, however we were not overtly in the lifestyle in public, while we would get looks many times (age gap as well) she was naturally a little/sub while I am naturally a Daddy/Dom so it is hard to turn off even in public. If you haven't explored it in "real life" as in out in the world, explore it privately as everyones dynamic is different. Some like to share their vanilla side in public and not the kink lifestyle, you can find kink gatherings as well and explore in that aspect as well. 

I would just say, if you are interested in it, do not push it aside as it can be a wonderful and beautiful relationship that you could be missing out on. My biggest challenge recently is finding a little/sub as it can be tough at times, when you do though it is amazing. 

Best of luck to you!

[baby_k]

I used to wonder about this: is just vanille rel enough for me? Eventually I figured that I need more than that to be happy in rel and not be looking where the grass is greener. I still don't require hardcore 24/7, so it has been rather easy to find suitable dates even in vanilla world.

I unfortunately have no advice for the daddy types on how to approach the subject with vanilla people. Maybe try to frame what you need in such way that you are not saying "i want a little" but more what you really wish to find like "I wish to be my partners rock who supports them no matter what, I want to help them grow even if it means that I need to get up early to make them healthy breakfast, I desire close connection where you truly get the other person and feel safe with them. And I want to enjoy playing games and fooling around!". (<- I would so suck in the dating if I was a male but maybe you get the idea...)

I always hinted about the kinky side in such way that vanilla guys wouldn't get scared before we talked of it (which was rather soon after we started talking always!). Most guys I tend to attract are pretty daddylike anyhow, and often even eager to try out ddlg type of rel / something kinkier. They probably would never be some hardcore sadists but enough of daddydoms for me.