Just need to make sure I'm a good new Daddy!!!

[schizo_puppy]

So I don't want to bore you with the super long details but I do need to include some so you guys can help me out a little bit, as being a Daddy is new to me, but I am naturally a caregiver, so I am told that this dynamic comes more naturally to me than the other D/s dynamics that I have (I have other submissives, but just one Little)

 

So my very new girlfriend, just since October 9th, and I, entered a D/s relationship when her temporary Daddy stopped paying attention to her.  I've known her for 2 years and we've both been in love with each other but didn't say anything because she lives in another country and was also underage when we met, now she is 18 (I am 28) and we've entered both a relationship and a DDlg relationship as well.

 

I talk to her every day on facebook, we Skype sometimes and have what we call "special cuddles" which is more sexual in nature and Daddy will give her instructions to make it more fun and make us feel closer.  I've put her in subspace three times since we've been together, and though I'm not there to do the aftercare I still make sure she drinks water afterwards and rests up and falls asleep when she's supposed to.

 

We have some rules, not strict at the moment, but she's going to be moving in with me and my fiancee (who is also a girl) in just over a month.  She's moving from Ireland to the United States, and I'll be caring for her full time.  

 

I've bought her an adult paci to replace the kids one that is hurting her teeth, am buying her all sorts of adorable clothes since her mammy won't let her wear cute clothes that make her feel like a princess I promised that she will dress like a princess every day that she wants to while she's here.

 

I have a list of rules from Daddy that I'm having printed and framed to hang on the wall of her bedroom, giving her a space in the house that is JUST hers, which is the inside of her walk-in closet where no one but her is allowed to set foot, and it's a white wall where she can color on the wall with crayons to express her Little feelings when the feelings get too big for her to handle.  I also am painting her wall with blue chalkboard paint so that she can color in her own theme since she loves blue and coloring, and chalkboard paint, and she's very artistic and loves to do things like that.

 

But I'm so new to this, I never fully even understood DDlg relationships until I dove head first into this one, and I'm just worried I'm not doing enough to help my Little feel Little, or I may be missing key points.

 

We've established a routine, every school night she  gets a bubble bath with her light up toys, while Daddy washes her off and cleans her hair, dries her off, helps her lotion down and get dressed, followed by story time.  I will choose whether she was a good girl and gets chocolate milk in her sippy that night or if she needs juice because she hasn't been healthy that day (I am in charge of her health of course which she doesn't take care of, so I have to take special care with her that she follows instructions to keep her mind and body safe and well) and snuggles to sleep with her paci.

 

She is to help with the chores when she adjusts to her new home and help with the cooking (she loves to cook!  Especially traditional Irish foods which I love) 

 

So, am I missing anything?  Should I be buying her anything special to help her adjust to her new home?  Money is NOT an issue, I have plenty of it, so please, if there's anything that you think a Little needs that I'm not providing for mine, let me know.  I've even bought her big shirts to sleep in that smell like me, and jewelry to wear during the day to school, day collars and a beautiful choker for Christmas.  I love to spoil her, so if there are little things that you think I could buy for her that would make her feel special and loved please let me know!

 

Thank you so much in advance, I'm so new to this and I just want to do right by her.  I am so in love with her and I just want to make sure I am being the best Daddy ever to her!!!

[misstoria]

My best advice would be to try your best to make her feel at home. Maybe let her pick at her own bedding and decorations so her room feels like her space. If she likes art I would create a space in her room where she can do that, fully stocked with supplies. I also know that I really enjoy having my stuffies, so getting her some may be of a comfort to her. While material things help, most of all just show her that you care and you want her to be happy with you.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Sorry but I do not want to even attempt read that horrid, fancy font. Any chance you can use a normal one?

[FitPapaBear]

It's a caring and well minded start, make sure to be flexible with your littles needs and you should be fine.

[Princess-P]

I'd just say worry less about what you can buy for her and make sure that you both have lots of communication going on. Littles need less material things and more attention.

 

You have multiple submissives including a fiance, so if you and she both feel like you will be able to give the time needed then everything should be fine.

 

Setting up rules and structure too is a very good idea.

[LolitasDaddy]

I second the rules and structure. Have a long talk about it. Everyone has to have a very open and very honest dialog here. I suggest writing down rules. As an activity sit down together and make a rule book. Having her help will likely make her feel that much more involved.

 

It's also all about the specific person. Her age. Her comfort. What makes a good Daddy to one surely won't work for every little.

[Guest Bear]

Hey Schizo, welcome to the forums.

I think you've got the whole little thing on the lock down. It seems like you would go above and beyond to make sure she will indeed feel at home and taken care of. Props to you.


But, there is one key thing I would like you address, since I think this is a very crucial part in this girl's growth as a person and future:

I dont know you, but I think it's pretty hard to say whether you would be able or wanting to take care of this little for the rest of her life.
18 is a pretty delict age, and there are many things to take into consideration such as her family's response, school, career etc etc.

Getting taken care of in such an "extreme" manner at such a young age can make her grow codependent later while she gets into her early twenties and have to face harsh life decisions. 


I think you should communicate carefully, and make sure you're both doing this for the right reason and she wont actually end up held back. 
You dont want her to have a shock when she hits 20, 21, 22 with no life-skills. This can easily translate into depression or worse.




I wish you the best of luck!

[HoneybeePrincess]

Very wise Bear. Complete agreement.

[schizo_puppy]

Hey Schizo, welcome to the forums.

 

I think you've got the whole little thing on the lock down. It seems like you would go above and beyond to make sure she will indeed feel at home and taken care of. Props to you.

 

 

But, there is one key thing I would like you address, since I think this is a very crucial part in this girl's growth as a person and future:

I dont know you, but I think it's pretty hard to say whether you would be able or wanting to take care of this little for the rest of her life.

18 is a pretty delict age, and there are many things to take into consideration such as her family's response, school, career etc etc.

 

Getting taken care of in such an "extreme" manner at such a young age can make her grow codependent later while she gets into her early twenties and have to face harsh life decisions. 

 

 

I think you should communicate carefully, and make sure you're both doing this for the right reason and she wont actually end up held back. 

You dont want her to have a shock when she hits 20, 21, 22 with no life-skills. This can easily translate into depression or worse.

 

 

 

 

I wish you the best of luck!

These are very great points that you've made, and something I've had to really think about carefully.  I've considered the codependence which isn't an issue for me personally, but while she is here she is to learn to provide for herself.  She has to learn to pay her own bills, have a job or be in school full time, I've even told her that I'll be checking over her homework and asking each night about it.  Communication is the one skill I have when it comes to keeping relationships in full blossom no matter how many years we've worked through problems and enjoyed the good parts.  I think I'll do well with communicating, but it'll be harder, because she isn't very good at it and is also mentally unwell, but I'm willing to work through that and be what she needs.

 

Do you have any advice other than what I mentioned above to help her develop into her own individual person and not feel stuck at 18 forever?