Things to consider when posting a personal ad - advice welcome!

[Guest lilkat]

Hey friends. I'm new here but have been lurking. I just recently got the courage to start coming out about my ddlg interest, even if only to a few online. 

That being said, I've decided I'd like to put some thought into creating a personal ad. Before I do, I'd love to hear from both littles and caregivers what you think is important in creating an ad or even in choosing to respond to an ad. What kinds of info is really helpful or best to include or what info do you wish people would post?  Or even what's somethings you wish people would not put in their ad?

Thanks in advance.  Hopefully this isn't too dumb a post. I just feel like it's important to think about bc ultimately I'm only one protecting my little self right now. 

Hope you're having a great day and thank you for reading!!

[LoverEcho]

I often see quite a few issues with personals posted here that I feel leads to little interest in the person who posted them. It’s important to find a happy medium between a short summary and an in-depth post about yourself. You want to let potential interested parties know who you are, but your entire life/interests/desires don’t need to be listed in a post. It’s too much information to digest at once and leaves little room for natural conversation and discovery to form.

Creating a post that is too heavily focused on kink and sex is also not going to help draw in potential partners. A relationship, even with a set dynamic, cannot only be about said dynamic or kink. Unless that is the desired situation for all involved. We are people, as Kay mentioned, the relationship needs compatibility and interest outside of sexual satisfaction. 
 

Those above two things I mentioned are the most important as I see it, but I’m going to go on to list some things I think should be in any personals ad (I see many leave these out):

-Some of your interests

-General location and willingness to relocate

-Anything that may make you uninterested in someone (ie okay with smokers? Open to dating people of certain religions? Age limits, stuff like this) 

-If you are looking to have children, have children, are looking for marriage, or have been previously married

-What your lifestyle is like, are you active? Laid back? Work a lot? Like to travel?

Of course all of these can be learned by talking to someone, but most of the above can make or break a connection so, in my opinion, it’s important to get that information at the forefront. It sucks to become interested in someone to then find out there is some incompatibility. Not to say all of this cannot be compromised on, that’s of course up to the individuals, it’s just helpful to put it out there. 

 

Edited October 9, 2022 by LoverEcho

[Barney048]

It's a great question. You know the saying "There are no stupid questions"? ... Well i think that's bullshit xD. There's definitely dumb questions out there, but those usually come from cocky self-centered individuals, who don't really want help or to learn. That's definitely not the case with you tho.

 

Okay, so when considering posting a Personal ad, the first thing to consider is whether you are ready for a dynamic/relationship (both emotionally and mentally), or if you are just lonely and looking for someone to fill that void. Most people on here, me included, have gotten into a relationship for the wrong reasons and mindset at some point of our lives. 

The answers above are pretty spot on and cover most things, so I'll just describe how I'd go about writing a personal ad. First of all, I don't try to "Sell myself". What I mean by that is that I don't try to romanticize what I'm like and what kind of Daddy I'd be to said person. First I do a general description of what I'm like as a person. Then I go into depth about what a potential partner can expect from me, and more importantly , what they CAN'T expect. Those are the points that the user LoverEcho stated above.  My post up to here is still completely "Vanilla".

 

Regarding sex and kink, I'd just list some things that are really important to me at the end of my post. Some people are hardcore sadists/masochists. Some people have a very high sex drive, while some have none at all. Some people enjoy very unconventional kinks. Some people just enjoy the caregiver aspect and age play, but not "traditional" kink.... These are the sort of things I'd mention as a heads up to potential partners. 

Other than that I think it's important to capture your "essence" in your ad. If you are sarcastic by nature, show it. Show what kind of sense of humor you have by making a "joke" here and there. Be yourself and don't try to sell the product you think others would like to buy. 

 

 

[Guest Daddylyfe]

7 hours ago, LoverEcho said:

I often see quite a few issues with personals posted here that I feel leads to little interest in the person who posted them. It’s important to find a happy medium between a short summary and an in-depth post about yourself. You want to let potential interested parties know who you are, but your entire life/interests/desires don’t need to be listed in a post. It’s too much information to digest at once and leaves little room for natural conversation and discovery to form.

Creating a post that is too heavily focused on kink and sex is also not going to help draw in potential partners. A relationship, even with a set dynamic, cannot only be about said dynamic or kink. Unless that is the desired situation for all involved. We are people, as Kay mentioned, the relationship needs compatibility and interest outside of sexual satisfaction. 
 

Those above two things I mentioned are the most important as I see it, but I’m going to go on to list some things I think should be in any personals ad (I see many leave these out):

-Some of your interests

-General location and willingness to relocate

-Anything that may make you uninterested in someone (ie okay with smokers? Open to dating people of certain religions? Age limits, stuff like this) 

-If you are looking to have children, have children, are looking for marriage, or have been previously married

-What your lifestyle is like, are you active? Laid back? Work a lot? Like to travel?

Of course all of these can be learned by talking to someone, but most of the above can make or break a connection so, in my opinion, it’s important to get that information at the forefront. It sucks to become interested in someone to then find out there is some incompatibility. Not to say all of this cannot be compromised on, that’s of course up to the individuals, it’s just helpful to put it out there. 

 

This is great advice, and I agree with the sentiment for the most part. The personals isn't always the best place to find people, but I think that it doesn't hurt to have one up. The only thing I can add to this is think hard about emphasis and wording. You don't have to stress about it! But I tend to type a lot different than how I speak and I showed my best friend who knows me really well my personal and they gave me some pointers on where I could change certain things to sound more like who I am rather than how I type. If you are deeper in the closet, I'd just suggest you write it out on a docs wait a bit, come back and read it again yourself. Your personal should reflect who you are the best you can! 

 

I also think that the personal should only be a part of how to go about looking for a partner on here. The personal is a really good way for potential partners to get to know stuff about you you wouldn't post by just participating in threads more. But threads are a good place to post things that you wouldn't necessarily post in your personal.  There's a yin yang to it imo.