Stronk girls (TW) Body talk.

[DaddysMonkey]

……. Hi. *waves*

 

So , as always my brain has fallen down a little hole filled with spider webs connecting to all kinds of topics to dwell on and discuss. I will be talking about bodies , weight , and things people with body image issues or eating disorders might find triggering. Read at your own discretion. 

 

Aesthetically speaking , what’s represented as what little/middle females are expected to look like is typical very frail and thin. Sometimes a little more curvy with larger breasts or a butt … but generally if someone to look up DDLG on most social apps or websites it’s fairly thin or skinny women. More often than not they are also hyper feminine or sexual with their clothing choices. 

 

In the past years , there’s been a lot more body positivity and people who speak out about this aesthetic that’s pushed on women in this lifestyle. Tons of plus size women in real life and even on this forum talk about the lack of clothing sizes , people who do or don’t desire their body type , or people who have made negative comments on their body saying things like they don’t look like or belong as a little because they happen have more fat on their bodies. A lot of the posts on this forum and other sites (such as Reddit and many others) in general about bodies (not just CgL related) is how lonely they feel because they aren’t desired or people desire them for the wrong reasons , like fetishizing their bodies. Of course , not everyone who is plus size feels lonely in being that. It’s just something I’ve noticed with all of my reading and deep diving. Posts about plus size women banding together , ending the conception that only thinner bodies are beautiful or desirable , a large group. 

 

Well my brain starts clicking and chirping , how can you feel so alone in being plus size ? All of these women getting together , thousands and thousands of them all over the internet and in real life… but a majority of them talk about feeling alone.

 

For someone who is either born being naturally thin or puts in work to be thin , it seems as though because this is the standard aesthetic … you’re not expected to feel alone ? I very rarely see anyone that is thin or VERY thin talking about feeling lonely or isolated in certain groups like CgL , or looking for partners in general. Is this because they don’t experience the lack of desire towards their bodies that plus size women might ? Is this because of social conditioning that people who are thinner by default are found attractive ? 

 

Because I have an eating disorder I personally have experience with being on both ends of the spectrum with weight. I’ve been unhealthily overweight for my height (I’m 5 foot 3 inches) at 220 pounds when I graduated high school. When I was at my worst with anorexia , I’ve gotten down to 100-110 pounds. I have been plus size , and I have been extremely thin. When I was overweight , I did experience people who wanted to fetishize my weight and body. I didn’t really feel alone though I guess. I felt self conscious , and hated my body but I never truly felt alone. I experienced bullying from peers and thinner girls. I always knew there were plus size or large people and I was just one of them at that time even if I struggled with my own mental health involving my body. When I was extremely thin , I experienced “thin privilege”. Men were a lot nicer to me , I was hit on much more often , and it felt like I was treated more like a toy without a voice than when I was overweight. I also experienced being bullied or treated poorly by people who were overweight and saw / knew me during my transition. I was being treated like I was a traitor to the plus size community by losing weight. 

 

Now I’m at a weird spot in my life where I’m still struggling with an eating disorder (I believe I always will to an extent) , but it’s leaned towards a different yearning. Of course because of my eating disorder I constantly have that voice in my head telling me I need to be thinner ,  but another voice has been added to that. I suppose it’s always been there but it’s just gotten louder over time during my journey of life and personal growth. It’s not only a need to be thin , but to be extremely strong and fit. 

 

The spiderwebs of my brain all connect , I promise. 

 

So , since I’ve been putting in a lot of ass busting and sweating into being a physical (but still somewhat thin) beast … I reflect on the lifestyle I have. Being in a CgL dynamic , how social constructs and family upbringing have shaped how I view myself and my body… and the typical DDLG aesthetic that’s pushed around. I have put a lot of thought over the last couple weeks during my morning walks about all these little spider webs and realized that ~ I ~ feel kind of alone. 

 

Outside of CgL , there is of course all kinds of body types. Thin , chubby , plus size , body builders. Within CgL it seems as though there are two sections for being desired or “looking like” what a little is supposed to look like.. whatever the fuck that’s even supposed to mean. There are thin women , and plus size or chubbier women. It’s very rare in my long time being on this forum that I’ve ever seen or met another person who desires to be strong over thin or plus size (aside from eating disorder thoughts). 

 

Of course this is due to another topic that keeps popping up recently , people don’t want to show their faces or bodies. So sure , there might be others out there who have a more muscular body type.. I suppose it’s just unseen for me. 

 

No , I don’t feel a need to band together with a bunch of buff women and start a topic or group about how I feel left out or undesirable. This is more me making the typical social views I notice and breaking them down and trying to apply them to my own thoughts and experiences. Maybe make someone think about their own experience also , why they feel alone and if they actually are or if it’s self manifested. 

 

It also leads me to wonder what caregivers think about this. Since there aren’t many people who talk about muscular bodies and whether or not we feel left out or not wanted ,  nobody has really spoken on it. 

 

There is also a lack of strong female characters in media , especially for children. As a middle , I get really annoyed watching Disney movies and while the characters might be strong… they’re all frail or thin and in reality aren’t physically capable of what they might be doing in the movies. Such as fighting a bad guy and lifting someone over their head. This is why I love the movie The Croods so much. It was one of the first kids movies I had seen that really showed different body types in a strong female lead. She’s got a buff upper body and is a fuckin beast the entire movie , and while some of it is of course imagination there are definitely things a girl with her body type could do that they represented. 

 

Another movie that I am dying to see , is Woman King. Again , a not represented very often body type. Is there another movement happening for positivity towards specific body types ? Probably not , but it’s still cool to see it happening and being represented. 

 

So when it comes to CgL and body types and what is considered what is expected aesthetically , where do muscular body types fit in ? 

 

Are there others like me hiding away ?

 

For caregivers , have you ever thought about muscular body types in relation to littles / middles ? 

 

Is it something that you have overlooked because it has never been talked about before ? 

 

I recently brought this thought process up to Dad , and I asked what he liked about the fact that I was muscular and strong. His response was , 

 

“I like that you’re tough. You can handle yourself if someone tries to fuck with you , there will always be worry for your safety but I know that if someone tried to mess with you , you would fuck their day up. I also like that you are able to help with things other littles might not be able to. If I feel like moving the couch one day , I can ask for your help without question and you could easily just move the couch yourself.”

 

Asking Brother the same question , and his response ,

 

“From a survival standpoint I know you could carry my big ass like I’d do for you if any situation arises where I need to be carried or drug but I also agree with the above if I needed help moving something that’s just to much for one person I can count on you to be able to help.”

 

I guess all of this manic talking about body types , social constructs , and body types for littles / middles within CgL is to bring questions and thinking to peoples minds. As well as to bring positivity and inclusivity to every body that’s involved in this life style ,  not just one type of body banding together in groups and creating loneliness whether it’s self manifested or not. 

 

What type of body type do you have , and what do you like and appreciate about it ? 

 

What type of body type do you desire a little to have as a potential or current partner , and what do you like and appreciate about it ? 

 

 

I have a more boxy and muscular body type. I appreciate that I am strong , I appreciate that I can physically protect others if I need to. I like that I am able to “keep up with the boys” and even put most of them to shame. I appreciate that if I were in a situation where Dad or Brother were hurt or injured (or anyone for that matter if they aren’t too fucking huge) , I could pick them up and carry them to safety. 

 

Thanks for listening to my bullshit , as always. 

Edited September 15, 2022 by DaddysMonkey

[Andriel_Isilien]

7 hours ago, DaddysMonkey said:

I appreciate that if I were in a situation where Dad or Brother were hurt or injured (or anyone for that matter if they aren’t too fucking huge) , I could pick them up and carry them to safety. 

Ok, the image of that is too adorable and wholesome. 😄 I think of the movie "Ever After" when the heroine is told by the thieves she is free to go and take whatever she can carry. And then she picks up the prince and waddles off with him!!! 🤣

 

Next, wow. I'm impressed you being so open about this as I imagine it's such a sensitive topic. Talking about body types is controversial and I have figured out it's best to not comment on someone's body no matter what. 99% of the time it's best to keep it to yourself because you have no idea what someone else is dealing with. Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and such are hell to live with. Society doesn't help with what is pushed down our throats on both ends of the spectrum. What a time to be alive! 🥴 I'm so sorry you went through the extremes on both ends and I admire you for sharing.

 

I always appreciate people who are authentic to themselves, unapologetically no matter what they look like. Throw the book out what qualifies you to fit in. I love seeing how people make being a little/middle their own thing. It's about working with the cards you have been dealt with and being the best you! I like your focus on being "stronger" rather than trying to alter your body. It's being healthier whatever that looks like for you. "Looking desirable" is the added bonus because it's a glow coming from within. Manifesting and all that.

 

I'm the body type that comes from what I like to call, "good peasant stock." 😁 Top that off, I'm an emotional eater. I am a lot heavier than I look because my body wears it well. Most guys that I attract weigh less than I do which bothers me (for stupid reasons). Being thicc or curvy is trending but I still feel alone. Why? Because I feel alone with myself inside. The only way I have been able to lose weight in the past is through unhealthy extremes. I looked fantastic at the time, but I didn't feel it. That loneliness was still there. My focus this year as I work out at the gym isn't to slim down but to feel better. I want to get physically stronger where I need to improve my posture so that I'm in less pain. I want to get stronger mentally by having the outlet exercising gives me. I'm changing my eating habits (for the umpteenth time) not to lose the weight but to feed my body better. I'm not seeking to look muscular. If I do wonderful. If I don't also wonderful because that isn't my goal. I don't want to notice not looking muscular. That's not important. I avoid the scale because it's such a trigger for me. I finally got brave a couple months ago and did the body weigh in scan to see if the numbers showed that I was making progress. And I am!! Then, a few weeks ago I went into the doctor's office and had to get on their scale. 😓 Mood RUINED!! I'm a work in progress, probably forever. But hey, isn't it supposed to be about the journey not the destination?

 

I think it's great that you are being a 'muscular little/middle'. Why? because you are being yourself and that's amazing to see! I know that I don't need to copy you per say but it's inspiring that we all can be ourselves. You are allowed to be your boxy, muscular, monkey self. I kinda envision this as your energy LOL

 Get ready for some monkey business! 🤣 I love it!

 

I want the push to be your best self and seek to be healthy (both inside and outside). Not this trying to conform to a body type that is trending. That's the kind of body positivity I want to get behind.

Edited September 15, 2022 by andrielisilien

[DaddysMonkey]

10 hours ago, andrielisilien said:

Next, wow. I'm impressed you being so open about this as I imagine it's such a sensitive topic. Talking about body types is controversial and I have figured out it's best to not comment on someone's body no matter what. 99% of the time it's best to keep it to yourself because you have no idea what someone else is dealing with. Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and such are hell to live with. Society doesn't help with what is pushed down our throats on both ends of the spectrum. What a time to be alive! 🥴 I'm so sorry you went through the extremes on both ends and I admire you for sharing.

Thank you ! I try to handle topics like this with as much grace as possible. I’m in a weird little bubble where my body has been in almost every section of body type because of my eating disorder issues , so I have a very broad view of all the perceptions people have for each one. 
I agree it’s best to not comment on others bodies ! On the other side of the same coin I think these kinds of discussions can be very healthy and informative 👹 Even if people don’t always wanna hear it. 

“Being thicc or curvy is trending but I still feel alone. Why? Because I feel alone with myself inside. The only way I have been able to lose weight in the past is through unhealthy extremes. I looked fantastic at the time, but I didn't feel it. That loneliness was still there.”

This hit my heart. That’s how I would describe my feelings I suppose. I don’t feel lonely within a group because I am just fine on my own , I don’t need a group to feel better. It’s being lonely within myself. That pain of looking aesthetically pleasing but logically knowing you’re killing your insides to do it , feeling run down and sick but constantly hearing the praises of “oh my god you lost so much weight give me all your tips and tricks !” Then having to bold face lie to someone so you don’t tell the truth of “I workout up to four hours total a day and walk and starve myself.” Hiding things , lying to people about how you do it , guilt , shame. 
 

Maybe you weren’t specifically talking about those feeling but that’s how it hit me and my brain 😅

 

10 hours ago, andrielisilien said:

I think it's great that you are being a 'muscular little/middle'. Why? because you are being yourself and that's amazing to see! I know that I don't need to copy you per say but it's inspiring that we all can be ourselves. You are allowed to be your boxy, muscular, monkey self. I kinda envision this as your energy LOL

 Get ready for some monkey business! 🤣 I love it!

 

I want the push to be your best self and seek to be healthy (both inside and outside). Not this trying to conform to a body type that is trending. That's the kind of body positivity I want to get behind.

Heh ! Your visions of my energy are highly correct , I belong on a leash 👹 Also the guys arm holding the leash looks like a PENIS ! 
 

And thank you for saying that ! Being your best self is what’s most important , not comparing yourself to other bodies in the community. You will never have the same body as someone else no matter how much you eat , starve , workout ect. It should be about loving yourself , where you’re at now , and having goals set for your health and future self. I’m 100000% with you on THAT being the type of positivity I will get behind. Don’t conform ! Do things that make you happy and healthy and everything will fall into place. 

[Sloth Fairy]

I used to be stick thin and was badly  teased because of it. I felt alone because I wasn't attractive to others. Like I wasn't worth their time. I couldn't gain weight no matter what.  Turns out I had a food allergy that kept me from being able to get the nutrients I needed. I changed my eating habits. Now I'm getting to a point of having to watch my weight. I have a pooch belly that I wouldn't mind getting rid of. But most of all I have to take care of my health because of high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Some of that is genetic predisposition. Which is another thing to consider as far as body type, being genetically predisposed to certain body types but media depicting a different body type as attractive instead of our own.  

As far as not feeling good about myself at this weight, I suppose sometimes I have, but it's also been because of my age, and especially regarding littlespace. That's another area to deal with concerniing body image. The fun never stops. 

I'm trying to work on myself inside and out. I sometimes struggle with self love and that's ultimately the real struggle deep down. 

I'm grateful that you are willing to share your struggles. It helps to see what others deal with. And it challenges me to self reflect.

Edited September 15, 2022 by Sloth Fairy

[moondust mochi]

i'm a stronk girl, thick little & i struggle pretty consistently with body issues! some days, i feel really sexy & thrive in the knowledge that i'm the "pickle jar lesbian" in my relationship with my Daddy. my Daddy worships my body so i know *He* likes it. but i don't always, & a big part of that definitely play into the fact that i can't be picked up, carried, i'm not aesthetically small regardless of my regressive state. i'm also an older little, so that doesn't help. i'm glad you're spreading awareness & putting our feelers as i'm sure we're not alone! 

[baby_k]

On 9/14/2022 at 11:41 PM, DaddysMonkey said:

“From a survival standpoint I know you could carry my big ass like I’d do for you if any situation arises where I need to be carried or drug but I also agree with the above if I needed help moving something that’s just to much for one person I can count on you to be able to help.”

-----

What type of body type do you have , and what do you like and appreciate about it ?

 

Funnily I always feel more comfortable if I know I can carry my partner to safety if needed XD

And for me main thing is a healthy body, which of course typically goes to the 'normal' slim/athletic aesthetics. I think that your body is there to move you around, do things, and just to be enjoyed. If it functions, then great ❤️ And of course maybe you are in wheelchair or whatever which takes away some of the typical functions but even then one can and should enjoy it to the fullest even if some things are impossible. I think that is respect to your body.

I'm slim but curvy (hourglass shape), so I fit to normal beauty standards. And I love my body even of course there may be moments when something bugs me. Typically I have rather good relationship with my body which someone could say is just because it fits "the standards" but I believe it's more about appreciating the functions it can do, how it feels (like just try dancing and feeling your mody,muscles working and so on, I love that feeling!). And not so much about how it looks.

However, I'm tall(ish). It's not a problem in norther Europe as people are tall but in countries where people are shorter, well.... I would be bit of a giant there. I have noticed that online shorter men have tried to use that quality as a weapon against me ("you are so tall it's unattractive, I want someone shorter" -after I have told them the "not interested") . Which is super silly and weird. But shows how some people will take whatever quality they think you might be selfconsious about and try use it against you. (Lucky for me that has not been an issue as imo I'm perfect height But if I had issues with my height, I bet it wouldn't have felt nice ).

 

[DollDirector]

totally agree with andrielisilien :

" I have figured out it's best to not comment on someone's body no matter what . 99% of the time it's best to keep it to yourself because you have no idea what someone else is dealing with " . that's my policy now .

ddlg can help . not many are into it , finding is complicated enough ; hopefully the dynamic and the connections between people should be strong enough to overcome body preferences .