Ghosting

[WADaddy]

It seems like any time I start talking to a little and we're getting along, something a bit more shiny comes along, and poof, ghosted. It's not just here, but there's so many ghosts, it feels like a graveyard. How can I hear so many complaints about ghosting, then those same people ghost? What can we do about it?

[WigglyBun]

I'm sorry this has happened to you, unfortunately it's a thing that happens and there really isn't a whole lot we can do about it. Sometimes we can look inwards & explore if there is something we did, and certainly sometimes it IS us...but when it's not...there isn't much to do besides move on. I always remember the quote about not putting all your eggs in one basket, though it can be hard when you are super into someone and POOF...they drop off the face of the earth (or they don't - and you see them being active elsewhere, just not talking to you specifically). 🤗

And maybe for some insight - and I am in no way saying that you are guilty of this - I personally I have stopped talking to people (without telling them - so I guess, ghosting) when they become very insistent after I say no to something and they don't take that "No." as a full & complete sentence. If someone can't respect that I want to send more than 10 messages on this site before moving to a random messenger, I know they will be pushy in other ways and so for me...that's a deal breaker. There are other similar reasons, and honestly most of the time it's not that something new & shiny came along, it's because as someone born a female I am tired of having to repeatedly set boundaries and say no to the same request multiple times, etc. 

 

[WADaddy]

I definitely do appreciate some insight!  And yes, I constantly overthink why no one seems to want to talk for more than a few days. Thankfully,  no one has ever called me pushy 🥲

[WigglyBun]

Then you're off to a good start! Don't give up hope, just be yourself and if people don't like you for who you are then they honestly probably aren't a good match for you anyhow (in my opinion).

[DaddysMonkey]

Hey WaDaddy , I’m sorry you feel like other people who are more shiny come along leaving you feeling ghosted. I’ve added the above Topic , and I could honestly add A LOT more Topics than just this one but I feel that this one as a whole has the most replies and insight to dig through. 
 

- , something a bit more shiny comes along, and poof, ghosted.

Something to ponder about for you , are you assuming that someone else came along ? Are you assuming they were more shiny if there was another person ? What do you even mean by more shiny ? A rich person , a person who is more physically fit and attractive than you , or perhaps younger or has a giant wang or something ? 
 

If I were looking for a partner and letting people court me , the above stated things you might be fearful of as reasons someone might shine brighter than you … would not have any bearing on my decision to pick them over someone else. I feel like men are just as insecure as women when it comes to competition , but because of societal issues they are forced to hide it more or keep it in secret. Reasons someone might be more shiny than you can vary from person to person that you’re courting. 
 

Things I would consider to make someone shine brighter than the next as courting competition goes , and more for you to ponder : 

*Someone who doesn’t emotionally dump on me , but can be open and vulnerable with their emotions. 
*Someone who has great listening skills. 
*Someone whose focus isn’t only on my body or sex.
*A person who is stable in their own life , with a job and able to pay their own bills.
*A person who spends time getting to know me , the actual me. Not just focusing on the lifestyle of Ddlg. A lot of people forget you’re talking to a person ,  not a doll or statue you’re going to collect. 

The list could go on and on and on. 

-How can I hear so many complaints about ghosting, then those same people ghost?

Because people are selfish. That’s the most blunt answer I can give you. People want and take , but normally find it harder to be content and give. It’s easy to complain about things , especially online. It’s not easy to tell someone why you might not want to talk to them anymore , it’s not so easy to self reflect on your own actions and why this might be happening to you , it’s not easy to appreciate what’s in front of you for some people and build on it. People these days also seem to feed off of instant gratification , and once someone gets past the “cupcake phase” of meeting someone new it’s easy to get bored. Some people get really overwhelmed by pushy people or people that might be really intense and decide it’s best for their mental health to step away , especially if they have past experiences with abusers and fear they may be gaslit into staying in the conversation. 
 

All of this is subjective though , some applies to people , maybe all applies to some people. Just some answers. 
 

-What can we do about it?

Not shit , really. You can’t really stop people from ghosting other people especially considering there are so many reasons people decide to just drop off the face of the earth. 

You can however try to grow tougher skin , which I know isn’t for everyone or isn’t easy for everyone. Try not to get attached when it’s an online relationship even more so if it’s really fresh and new. There’s a big difference in my opinion in an online relationship and a long distance relationship , and a time where one might cross over to the other. If you have literally no plans of ever meeting this person face to face and possibly building something in person , my advice to prevent hurt feelings over ghosting is simple in my mind , just some tough skin , awareness , don’t get attached too quickly. 
 

I hope you can have better luck in the future looking for a partner. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by DaddysMonkey

[SmolAetherr]

i will say because this part stands out to me

Quote

something a bit more shiny comes along, and poof, ghosted.

i think assuming the reason especially one that implies you are at fault here isnt going to help you get over it. people do it for all sorts of reasons and its a crappy thing to do

 

just take a deep breath, remember there are more people out there to meet and make friends with

and realise that they didnt care much for your feelings to be doing that anyway.

give the energy you recieve and you wont be resentful.

[Guest kea]

I am sorry this has happened. I had it happen on here recently to me as well. 

Chat was going well, then i was requested to move to another chat platform. After a few days in, i asked for a video chat and poof! i never had a response for two days. They have read that chat, but not responded there.

It would be nice to confirm the pics are the person i am talking to. But both the Daddy's and the little/middle, put themselves out there and we will never know why someone stops chatting. I cannot meet in real life, but i give 100% to my 'Daddy'. So being ghosted and having to see that person has read the email i sent on here with no reply is His loss now. I can only control my actions, i know i am honest, i am real. If they cannot be, and they chose to use other people's media pics or not reply. I cannot do anything about that.

I hope you find the one you are looking for you.