A neat experience.

[DaddysMonkey]

…… *waves*  Hi. 
 

What I’m gunna talk about can be a touchy subject for some people , and I understand that people can be very opinionated about shared public spaces. 
 

I’m not asking for and don’t need anyones opinion. This is just an experience I had two weekends ago , and I’ve been debating on talking about it or not because people can be so opinionated. If you decide to respond to this , be kind or kindly go fuck yourself. 
 

AHHHHHHEM. Let’s get started. 
 

So I don’t struggle with my gender identity or anything , I’m just a much more masculine female with a lot of more manly habits and qualities I guess. When in public or at work , despite having big knockers…. People have assumed I’m a boy. It made me wonder how people feel who might be trans , or be going through some gender identify changes or other people who are like me that just ‘be’ but are still mistaken for the other gender.. with bathroom and fitting room situations. I’ve scared the shit out of a few old ladies thinking I was a man stomping around the women’s restroom until they got a better look at me and it was a really weird experience. Like what , just because you think I’m a dude I’m gunna attack you or something ? Then when you realize I’m a woman you’re at ease ? I could easily be a psychopath and kill you in this bathroom regardless of my uterus. Anyways , I digress. 
 

I had been pondering this for a while , the whole bathroom and fitting room scenario because I’ve had handful of strange experiences. If a human is a piece of shit and wants to hurt someone , they’re going to do it. It doesn’t matter if they’re male , female , trans , identify as whatever you want to… it’s not going to stop you from hurting people if you’re unwell. So the whole separation by gender …. I can *understand it* because of society norms and stuff but it’s just been bugging the fuck out of me for some reason. Just because there’s a sign that says “men only” on a door doesn’t mean I can’t kick it in and just smack some dude in the face at his urinal and walk out. 
 

Which leads me to my serendipitous experiences at Target and Nordstrom Rack. 
 

I had been thinking about all this shit for a couple weeks , especially after watching a few documentaries on gender norms and society views on shared spaces ect. My monkey brain waves were sent into the universe I guess and I was given a chance to experience what I had been pondering. 
 

I’m at Nordstrom Rack looking for some bras and maybe some new biker shorts , and just to be safe with my bras I’ve been trying them on before buying them lately. I’ve got my little pile of stuff to try on and I walk over to the fitting rooms and stand there patiently waiting to be escorted into the female fitting rooms. 
 

Three minutes go by and I’m still standing there , I let my anxiety pass and I speak up and go “uhhhhhh… can I try these on ?” The worker looked at me kinda funny and just goes , “Uhh yup , fitting rooms are right there.” And she points to a big ass open fitting room area. No gender labels , nothin. *shrugs* Alrighty then. 
 

I walk into the fitting room area and there’s men , women , families , groups of friends who are mixed males and females , kids running around. I picked my fitting room and I just stood in there for a second listening to the chaos around me. 
 

Some dad telling his daughter , “ABSOLUTELY NOT ! That’s way too revealing for your age.” 
 

Some mom stomping around chasing her kid that stole her phone and was knocking on fitting room doors.

A girl trying on dresses and her guy friend hyping her up , “YESSSSS THAT ONE LOOKS SO GOOD , GET IT !” 

Some rich old guy grumbling about how none of these clothes are made how they used to be back in his day. 

Some guy nicely telling a kid to hush , you’re stressing your mom out with your screaming. 

All of these people , genders , backgrounds , ethnicity , just sharing a space without any questions or issues. I stood in my little fitting room and just kinda thought , “This is how society should be.” 
 

I tried my bras on , they fit great , I put my normal clothes back on , bought my stuff and left. 
 

I went to Target directly after this experience , grabbed a couple things to try on …. ALL OPEN FITTING ROOM AREA AGAIN ?!?! What did I manifest with my monkey brain ?! 
 

I personally didn’t have a bad experience with shared spaces. After getting in the car and thinking about it a little bit , I started telling Dad about what happened and that I’ve never been in a shared space like that. People seem so hyped up about this kind of stuff but my experience was nothing but positive. I was telling Dad that I would explain this experience as being similar to being in the wild. 
 

Spaces where people are doing necessary things , typical human things that everyone does or has to do to survive in this society (bathrooms , fitting rooms , restaurants ect) should be treated like watering holes. Or at least that’s what my experience felt like. 
 

In the wild , all animals come together at the watering hole. Prey , predators , in betweens , it’s understood that we all need this water right now. Let’s share it and survive together and we can deal with our shit elsewhere that isn’t a safe spot for everyone. Of course , shit can still happen because that’s just nature and I understand that. But it just feels like common sense to me. You’re sharing a space you both need , nobody is being threatened , fuckin share the space and move on. 
 

I dunno , I thought it was a really neat experience. 

[Little kaiya]

This is a topic that hits so close to home for me. As a genderfluid person, man and woman, who is also a male I have been physically stopped from going into the washroom that matches my gender at the time. As my gender changes without warning, hence genderfluid and not bi gender, I can sometimes be a man wearing a blouse, a woman wearing a suit and any and all combinations thereof.

People often make assumptions based on what I'm wearing and miss the MANY MANY other cues to my gender. I've been asked to leave stores after being told, "we don't serve your kind". I've had women stand in the door to the woman's washroom and dent me entrance even though I was a woman at the time.

I wish there were more gender inclusive, not gender neutral, washrooms and other spaces. It's a conversation and topic where I spend a lot of time educating and also one where speaking publicly I've received threats of violence and even death ☹️