I need advice

[Blueybluex]

I feel horrible asking for advice on this but it’s really getting to me.

my daddy is new to ddlg, and I feel like he just isn’t getting it, he says he’s trying but I don’t see it, I feel like he doesn’t understand me. Like he’ll say a ddlg type phrase here and there but there’s no actions with it. I’ve sent him so much information on it and explained so many times but he never wants to discuss it he just says he’ll try but that he doesn’t think he’ll be good at it.

my other issue is, he has a daughter part of the time, I’ve seen how he acts with her and I’ve said you can do it, you can do it with her why can’t you do that with me? (When we’re not around her) 

other issue is, when he’s with his daughter it’s like I’m just thrown under the bus, she gets literally everything she wants and always her way and I’m ignored etc. I’m not trying to be selfish I am a parent myself so I know there is no need to act like that cause I don’t do it to him.

 

help please, I don’t understand these feelings 

 

[LoverEcho]

A big thing that might be going on here is that he just isn’t interested in being a Daddy/Caregiver to you. Being a parent doesn’t always translate into being a person interested in DXlx. There’s many people that have hang ups about the lifestyle because they view that it too closely resembles a parent/child relationship. While some people do engage in their dynamic that way, at the end of the day this a bdsm lifestyle, it’s a kink. Have a conversation about it with him. Ask him if he genuinely has any interest in the dynamic, and if he does, discuss expectations from there. If he gives you the clear answer that he isn’t interested in the dynamic, then you’ll have to respect his decision and go from there. 
 

When you two are together with his daughter, are you sure you are being cast aside, or could it be you just want to be treated in a way he doesn’t treat you? Just something I think you should think about. If it is more than that, you need to sit down with your partner and have a conversation about how it makes you feel. Perhaps he should have outings just the two of them and spend the time with you both separately. 

[Guest elyas]

Have you discussed the actions that you're hoping him to act on? Even if you've sent general information regarding DD/lg lifestyle and dynamic, it's still difficult to distinguish what applies to you specifically and what parts can be introduced to your relationship. 

I'm not a parent or parent-minded in any sense, but I imagine most parents would agree that their children get priority over a partner. If he only has his daughter now and then, it would make sense why he is giving her his undivided attention when she is around. Is he more attentive when it's just the two of you?

I'm not sure it's realistic to expect him to treat you the way he treats his child, not to say he can't be a caregiver/daddy to you, but it's obviously going to be a very different dynamic to what he has with his daughter. So yeah, I don't think it's a good idea comparing his actions with his daughter to how you want him to interact with you, that is going to be very confusing for someone who is new to DD/LG. 

[beanbean]

his kid of course will come first when he has her thats how it works ,even if he does become your daddy he wont treat you the same as her,.set him down and explain to him what you wan't not what some papers says and go from there decide were you guys want to go with it!

[Vampiress]

It sounds like he loves you and wants to agree to it to make you happy, but maybe deep down the interest just isn't there. Also, you compare how he treats his daughter to how you want to be treated, and honestly that might be a turn off for him because you're his partner and he probably doesn't want to see you like his kid or equate you to her. Whatever relationship he has with his daughter he probably doesn't want to cross those lines with his sexual/life partner. If he is willing to make this work with you, then you need to find a way to make it a seperate thing or else those hang ups are probably going to occur. As his child she is going to get certain things from him and a certain part of him that you won't get, just as there are things she won't get from him that are special to your relationship with him. If he really isn't feeling this then he does need to just be honest with you instead of giving you false hope.