Little Friends Question

[Little kaiya]

My Daddy and I were talking the other days about DDlg things and one of the topics was little friends. We confirmed we're on the same page about being open to talking with folks, caregivers or littles, about DDlg stuff but when it comes to activities we have zero interest in play dates or things with others. 

We see lots of posts from folks looking for little friends and we're curious if there are couples who prefer keeping DDlg play private to their relationship versus looking for/having play dates.

[KittyBabe]

I prefer private in the bedroom sense but sometimes little space can leak out when i get comfortable in a friendship. 

[Sloth Fairy]

I like being able to have platonic little/middle friends. If nothing more than to have someone who knows what it's like.

However, I actually think it would be awkward to have play dates. I don't know if that's just my introverted nature or what. I'm not sure if I'd be able to get into littlespace with other littles around. It's just a very vulnerable headspace.

[littlecloud]

I like having little/middle friends because it gives me the opportunity to not only be open about little-ness but also gives me things in common that can make me feel a bit isolated otherwise. Like if i find a cute nintendo switch game that i think would be cool to play together or if i read a book that has ddlg dynamics in it that i want to talk about and share. It gives me the chance to connect without fear of judgement. 

That being said, I definitely think "play dates" are something to work up to and require an immense amount of trust and it's not something i've done before. There's a ton of vulnerability in our dynamic but having someone to talk to about things and that like similar things to you is really important. 

To sort of sum up my ramblings, I like having little/middle friends to connect with but until an immense amount of trust is established, I can't see myself having a "play date" where we're both little. 

[Little kaiya]

I'm so glad to know there are others who have friends that are littles but who don't automatically translate that into play dates. Daddy and I enjoy having friends who know about or are part of the DDlg lifestyle but we keep those relationships at the adult level and sadly sometimes get told that makes us "fake" as we don't want to have play dates with people.

[Sloth Fairy]

That's awful. What makes someone's dynamic fake or real? Everyone is different and ddlg is different for each person. There's no recipe to follow here, it is what you make it and what you enjoy. 

Edited August 22, 2022 by Sloth Fairy

[DaddysMonkey]

.… hiiiiiiii 😬 *waves* 

I personally feel like the term ‘play date’ has a lot of pressure behind it. Play date feels like those moments as a kid when the neighbor lady brought her douche bag son over to play and you’re forced to be in this fart sniffers presence for four hours. (I feel like I give such weird little windows into my upbringing 😅) Seriously though , it just feels like pressure when it’s labeled like that , to me anyways. 
 

I wouldn’t say I necessarily look for or want to plan play dates , but I would definitely make friends who are littles and hang out with them. Being middle is who I am at the core , so if I’m with friends or acquaintances they’re going to naturally see that side of me anyways. I’ve planned play dates before , had someone fly out to my home for extended time and playtime and it just didn’t end well for me. I would much rather things happen organically and just hang out with someone who just so happens to also be little instead of planning anything. 

I will say I agree with @GayKitten. My headspace whether or not it’s a natural state for me , can be involuntarily sexual. I’m a very mentally stimulated person , so I could easily see how it could get overwhelming feeling like I myself is stepping over boundaries by saying something not exactly meant for friends , even if it’s just a nasty boi brain joke. My headspace is very intimate , no matter how 24/7 it is … there are just certain facets of myself that I don’t show to just anyone. Being middle in front of ANYONE is a vulnerable position to me , and even if it’s just a potential friend or actual friend … I’m not going to just let anyone in on that especially in person. 

I’ve been isolated a lot of my life , not by choice as a kid and very much a choice as an adult. Because I had a major lack of interaction with people and friends as a kid , I kind of crave that feeling of making friends in a similar ‘age group’ even though it terrifies me. So while I won’t go making play dates and major plans to specifically be in my headspace with someone , I am totally open to just having little friends that I can chill with and just be who I am. 
 

As for whoever called you fake for not wanting a play date … that’s just plain laughable. I’m sure you plenty know that on your own ,and that’s what matters.

[Andriel_Isilien]

I just had my first playdate this weekend but now I'm wondering if it was more of a "hangout with another little". What makes a playdate? How would it be different than hanging out? What we did is we met up at a park, brought snacks, did coloring, and talked for a couple of hours. We might have slipped into littlespace for a moment or two (there were cute puppies at the park!!) but on the outside we probably appeared like roommates or friends sitting together. We told jokes, vented to one another, talked about mental health stuff, and our favorite things. Littlespace doesn't have to be a line we must cross in order for this to be consider a legit "playdate". Afterwards we went to a thrift store and found a stuffie each to take home. 😊 We didn't dress up in little/baby gear nor did we have speak "baby talk" (although, the cute puppies did make us slip).

 

I can't believe people would have the audacity to call your dynamic or relationship "fake" because you chose to make it how you want. Forcing yourself to follow others is fake.

[Little kaiya]

That question of what makes a play date is a really good one and is probably going to vary widely for different people. For my Daddy and I it really is dependent on the headspace of the person and external expressions. So for an example, if someone was wearing little clothing, talking in baby talk, using baby items or obviously being in a little headspace that would tick that box for us.

If it was something like colouring but the person was still able to have an adult conversation and was in an adult headspace then no it wouldn't tick that box for us. There are lots of adult colouring books 😁

I guess for us it's about where the person is at in their head more than an activity like going to the zoo or build a bear or something like that.

[withacaryoucangoanywhere]

I haven't heard the phrase "play date" used before. I've got some other kinky friends who are open about what they like, but when we socialize it's pretty much the same as socializing with vanilla folks. We go out as a group, spend time at each others' homes, and wingman/woman for each other when one of us is single. But we're all strictly platonic.

Generally, I like being open about my more submissive/sexual side. But it's not right for every person or every situation. Usually on a "guy's night" after a certain amount of drinking, everyone starts talking about what they like in a partner. If it's a trustworthy group, I don't mind sharing that I like a dominant woman. If people ask questions, I answer. I tend not to get too specific, but that's to be expected. Some things are meant for me and my partner.