Brat is misbehaving and will not listen - Long Distance

[Kratos4920]

Hello I'm somewhat new to the whole taming a brat thing. I'm not sure if I'm not being assertive enough.

Our relationship is long distance currently and I wouldn't be able to correct her behaviour in person for sometime (a month or so). It started out mostly being a dom/sub role and we've kind of transitioned into this daddy/brat role without much of a discussion on it which I know will need to be done to address why she is acting this way and find out what works and doesn't. She is not responding to any of the punishments or showing any willingness to behave despite my efforts.

Any suggestions on what I can do to correct this? I currentlly have her on a timeout as in I'm not talking to her. I would do this over the phone again as I said above, she is not doing as she is told. This is the first time she's really acted out this way.

Edited August 8, 2022 by Kratos4920

[moondust mochi]

Okay, so the first question I'm going to ask you might sound a little stupid, but --- 

Have you guys had a conversation yet about how she'd like you to discipline her when she acts this way? 

Because you're not a mind reader, and entering into a brat dynamic is an agreement between both people in the relationship. You as the Dom are consenting to the bratting, so therefore, it needs to be discussed beforehand. I wish I could remember the term I saw here once, but basically, you need to step out of your roles and have a meta-talk as two people in a relationship. Consider some of these questions:

What are appropriate punishments?
How would you like me to respond when you're pushing away all the ideas we've discussed? 
Does this mean something that I should be aware of? When you act this way, is it for a specific reason or reaction that you're hoping to gain? 
What is no longer bratting and instead simply being disrespectful of the dynamic in place? How can that line be communicated? 

I hope this helps! 

[ZenDaddy]

On 8/8/2022 at 5:26 PM, moondust mochi said:

Okay, so the first question I'm going to ask you might sound a little stupid, but --- 

Have you guys had a conversation yet about how she'd like you to discipline her when she acts this way? 

Because you're not a mind reader, and entering into a brat dynamic is an agreement between both people in the relationship. You as the Dom are consenting to the bratting, so therefore, it needs to be discussed beforehand. I wish I could remember the term I saw here once, but basically, you need to step out of your roles and have a meta-talk as two people in a relationship. Consider some of these questions:

What are appropriate punishments?
How would you like me to respond when you're pushing away all the ideas we've discussed? 
Does this mean something that I should be aware of? When you act this way, is it for a specific reason or reaction that you're hoping to gain? 
What is no longer bratting and instead simply being disrespectful of the dynamic in place? How can that line be communicated? 

I hope this helps! 

Moondust is one of the most soundest voices on this forum, brother, and I love how she cited the importance of communication.. wouldn't it have been nice to have had this talk before now, lol.  Hindsight, you know.  But, you're here now.  Can the two of you perhaps backtrack and address these things for the next time these issues arise??  No one knows... and maybe not.  That's something you're going to have to be real with in the moment, should that moment arise.  But, IF she's willing to have this talk, regardless of whether it should have happened already or not is the main thing.  And again, as has been addressed, is what's going on a black and white issue of disrespect labeled as 'Bratting"??  If so, then that becomes a whole nuther issue of it's own, and as a Dom and Master, my response is never soft, lol.  I wish the two of you the best in finding your way through this labyrinth, my friend.