Boundaries

[Married_Lg]

I’m no stranger to kink or online communities. I understand that you can’t generalize a whole population of kinksters because of the behavior of a few. But you know what I’m honestly so sick of? 
PEOPLE NOT RESPECTING MY BOUNDARIES!!! 
I know I’m not alone in this one. I’m sure it goes both ways (doms and subs/men and women). But if you can’t respect me enough to treat me like a normal human being and not sexualize every question/topic of discussion you have with me? Then just don’t knock on my door. I give people 2nd chances, even sometimes 3rd chances. But repeatedly making things sexual with me right off the bat when I have told you that’s not how I roll… I’m sorry but you’re getting blocked because apparently words mean nothing to you. 
I just needed to get this rant out. Please come talk to me if you can discuss things as if you met me in a coffee shop, and not on a kink site. I love chatting with new people and learning about their lives. We can acknowledge our kink roles a bit, but don’t ask me about my sexual preferences until you at least know a little about the vanilla me. And don’t pretend to get to know me in a vanilla sense if your goal is to try and get to know me sexually. I’ll see through it. 
I just want to know Real people with real lives…. 🥺😔

[moondust mochi]

I absolutely agree. I've taken several breaks from this site because I get a lot of people adding me and then never communicating or being willing to have a conversation or people friending me just to ask me if I'm into BDSM. I'm not going to share my kinks with a random stranger! I want to get know people who are living this life twenty-four seven like I am. 

[Guest]

I have dealt and still deal with this issue. It irritates me to no end to try and build a friendship with someone, and finding out that their intentions are not the same but to push my boundaries. And when I correct them I am told some excuse that somehow puts me at fault: 
- well if you werent looking for a dom, why did you accept my friend request? 
- well if you were a loyal sub, you wouldnt be talking to anyone else
- well if you were happy in your dynamic, you wouldnt be looking for friends
- All submissives are supposed to serve. 
- etc etc

I am someone who is very very very protective over my boundaries, but if someone respects them I will move mountains to be the best friend i can be for them. and it makes me so upset when i open myself up to gain new friends and is met with thirsty idiots. 

[Andriel_Isilien]

When people don't respect my boundaries, I almost want to thank them for giving me a clear sign as to why I must stay away from them. But then that would encourage them to keep talking to me. Don't give them an inch.  My profile says enough about me at face value. If a stranger can't be bothered to read it, then I can't be bothered to respond to them. I am allowed to have friends of any gender no matter my relationship status. If that makes me a b*tch then I'll happily own that title. I have had enough letting people walk all over me just for the sake of being nice and not hurting their ego.

 

Stay protective of your boundaries!

Edited August 5, 2022 by andrielisilien

[ZenDaddy]

Agree, agree, and agree!!  When I've encountered a new Submissive and or Little, one of the first things I address is boundaries, not only mine but their own.  Especially if they are asking advice (if new to the lifestyle) about what to expect in seeking a Dom Daddy or Master.  Boundaries and their importance are a massive hardline to me, and taking time to get to know another interested human beyond sex or sexual topics (especially in the beginning) is a must.  Think I've made reference in posts or possibly on my profile, but I am a father of 3 beautiful, and well trained strong and independent daughters in real life... (which made their boyfriends and now husbands royally jump through a ton of hoops during their dating process, which they've sarcastically thanked me for, haha.. ).. so I am very keen on boundaries with my partners.  Yes, a very demanding Dom Daddy and Master, but all about clear communication of both our place, especially during the vetting process.  Kudos to all the comments above, spot on!

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