Collaring yourself.

[DaddysMonkey]

….. Hi. *waves* 

 

Well , I’m about to be a little open about my life so that feels kinda gross. What’s up ya fuckin losers ? 
 

So , I don’t need to get THAT into detail about my life but I decided to try and share this story because I think it may or may not help someone. Who knows tho , maybe I’m just tired and have no friends in real life so this is my diary. Welcome to my life 🙃

 

The past year or so has been pretty eye opening , a lot of changes have happened (not even just the past year but past couple years) and I’ve been trying to find myself again after feeling like a floating piece of dust in the wind. 
 

I’ve been in this lifestyle a very long time , like ten years long , enough to make me feel like an old grumpy veteran telling all my sad stories to you whipper snappers. With all that time , a lot of ups and downs have come and changes with how I view myself , the world and the dynamic I live in. These changes have and personal growth have led me to making a big decision (in my opinion) for my continued growth as a person and how I feel about my dynamic currently. 
 

I’ve had the same collar from Dad for years now , it’s been worn down and beat up and the engraving on it is almost unreadable. It’s been really bugging me and I had been asking for a new one for two years now. (I would like to clarify that while my dynamic isn’t perfect just like anyones this isn’t an open door for fuckin creeps to try to pull the “I’d be better than him” trope I’ll fuckin kick you in your tiny little dick so don’t even start) In our dynamic we have agreed , without going into traumatic detail about my past , hell always be my caregiver regardless of what happens , we have both agreed to still have each other in that aspect in life. BUT I’ve been feeling it lacking , expressed myself numerous times about feeling unsatisfied with how the dynamic is with him specifically. He will always be Dad regardless if the dynamic is lacking on either end at times but that doesn’t mean I need to wear his collar if this is how I’ve been feeling. Add just normal personal growth due to life and therapy and…
 

I asked him to take off my collar , (He is the only one with the key) and to get myself one , for myself. One that represents who I am as a middle , and one that I feel comfortable in that matches the current dynamic more. 
 

I also have @Expired, who is a staple in my life , a supporting beam really. Big brother , I have a necklace from him that borders a collar , but I am not technically collared by him. I see it more of a tie and symbol that he’s part of the thrice and has hold over my being as well. I refuse to take it off , and it will become part of my “collar/necklace stack” 
 

Well… I bought the collar. I also got charms to represent my personality and who I am as a middle , to represent Dad , @Expired , and what I’d call the family. So , here it is. 

 

The little fire symbol is my personality , all of my signs for everything are all fire , I’m wild and dangerous but can bring warmth and comfort. 

The little banana charm is pretty self explanatory. I’ve been called Monkey since I was a child , and it is the embodiment of my heart. I am a wild Monkey. 
 

The middle charm represents myself and the family dynamic currently. My heart in the middle , on constant fire and always burning for my family , held within a circle , nobody gets in the circle without the approval of the Dad or Big brother. The three gems , one for Dad , one for @Expired and one for me. The thrice family. Everything good comes in threes. 
 

The extra charm , for Big brother and I. He’s always been the moon in my darkness , shining down on a safe path even if he’s watching from far away. The sun rays reaching up towards the moon because he’s a giant and I always have to look or reach up to him , but I also help hold him up the same way he pulls me up. 
 

The charms are removable , you can get more designs and move them around on the chain. I’ll be able to get charms that represent my feelings and current dynamic without having to buy an entire new collar. 
 

I dunno , just thought I’d share because I rarely see anyone collar themselves in or out of a dynamic. Maybe show off your collars ? Whether it’s from your caregiver or to yourself , share with the class ! 

Edited August 4, 2022 by DaddysMonkey

[Andriel_Isilien]

Oh wow, I LOVE the symbolism and meaning you have not just in the charms but the collar that you picked out for yourself. What an awesome story! I really like how you have it be like a journey that has consistency but is also open for growth and changes for you as a person. 😊 Thanks for sharing.

 

I know only a little about collaring and I'm such a newbie at it. I made the attempt last year with my ex when he brought up wanting to get a few tattoos to represent me on the left side of his body (leg and arm). He even took it as far as a self-induced scar on the left side of his face with more meaning about me (that I won't go into). I felt very uncomfortable with all this because tattoos are not my thing (being so permanent and broadcasting it to the world), but he insisted this is what HE wanted to do to show HIS attachment to me. I couldn't stop him which is ironic that it was all for me even though I didn't like it. I then chose a conservative gold chain for myself that I would wear 24/7. Similar to a collar and a bit more than the wedding bands we got each other 5 years ago. Spoiler alert: the chain broke of its own accord by accident, and I KID YOU NOT, a few weeks later my ex cheated and abandoned me 😝 But this fool is still stuck wearing all his tattoos and scars he put on himself as symbolism of me. LOL 😆 I can laugh about it now because I can actually see how ridiculous and incompetent he has been with his choices. I'm so glad mine was a simple chain and I find it very interesting that it literally broke itself before everything went down. I just realized that now as I write this.

 

Anyway, great post as always!! 😁

Edited August 4, 2022 by andrielisilien

[moondust mochi]

I love this idea. I've picked out most of my collars in the past, and purchased them for myself with the approval of my partner. My current Daddy and I are doing a more traditional approach than I've done in the past, and doing a training collar phase -- since we live long distance, the collar stays with Him and I wear it when I'm "home." I don't get to see Him again until the 14th, and seeing this photo made me miss it even more. 

[Vampiress]

That's really beautiful Monkey. I am glad you have a collar that you feel represents you and can evolve over time as you continue to grow personally and within your dynamics. As a very sentimental person I really appreciate how much thought and detail went into creating your own personal collar. Thank you for sharing with us!