A Daddy / Dom's Discoveries..

[ZenDaddy]

As a seasoned DD,  I have begun making some discoveries about my nature and role in this community, and having been a DD in Sub/lg relationships over the past 5 – 6 years, and with introspective and even looking back at vanilla relationships I’ve had long before this lifestyle, I’ve become aware I have natural Daddy and CG traits and tendencies, but at my core I am a Dom and Master.  

So many times we may find ourselves looking back at a failed relationship and wonder, “Why didn’t it work?  We seemed to have all the right chemistry, dynamics, etc “, only to discover after looking more closely that perhaps they were never a fit to begin with, and we were not true to what it is we want and know will work with and for us, especially in a LTR.  (Hindsight really is 20/20..).  

As I began to peel back the skin of the onion, I realized how true this was for me, and noticing the constant power struggles that became common within the relationships I chose, that would reveal themselves sometimes in subtle ways… other times, very dramatically.  I have landed on the awareness I now have which is, even though I was an exemplary Daddy and being true to that side of me, I was not being true to the Dominant side.  Especially in searching more precisely for partners with stronger Submissive / Slave traits and characteristics than the ones I chose.     Life after all is in a sense a series of discoveries and.. well, more discoveries lol.  And as my discoveries have led me to more honestly and precisely search for my partner, I thought, “What if??”  What if there are other DD’s that have seen the same pattern in their journey that I have?  If this awareness can possibly end certain cycles I’ve witnessed in my life, maybe it can help bring an end to similar senseless cycles and patterns others may be going through.. regardless if they are Dom / Masters or Domme / Mistresses.  

For the longest time, I’ve had the Mantra, “Don’t settle for what you can get?  Get what you WANT!”  Unfortunately, I haven’t always followed that advice, lol..

Hope this helps you, whoever you may be.  Cheers!

[Married_Lg]

Words I WISH someone had told a young 19 year old me. The trouble is, what I wanted has evolved. Not changed completely, but like you said 

50 minutes ago, ZenDaddy said:

even though I was an exemplary Daddy and being true to that side of me, I was not being true to the Dominant side

This realization takes time and patience and (for me) trying to see what feels right and what doesn’t. I wouldn’t have all that I have today without making the decisions I did 9 years ago. I was true to myself then. I did the marriage and kid thing (which I still adore) but I wasn’t aware the burning need to relinquish control sometimes was me with a submissive side. I didn’t know about kink. I even had a DDLG relationship before I met my husband, but I honestly thought that was just my “special” relationship with the guy I was with. I didn’t know other people called their bf “daddy” and depended on them like a caregiver. If I knew that was a thing, I might be living differently today. I won’t say I Settled because I don’t have a DD, but I definitely wish I had been aware of all my needs then as I am now. 

[ZenDaddy]

22 minutes ago, Married_Lg said:

Words I WISH someone had told a young 19 year old me. The trouble is, what I wanted has evolved. Not changed completely, but like you said 

This realization takes time and patience and (for me) trying to see what feels right and what doesn’t. I wouldn’t have all that I have today without making the decisions I did 9 years ago. I was true to myself then. I did the marriage and kid thing (which I still adore) but I wasn’t aware the burning need to relinquish control sometimes was me with a submissive side. I didn’t know about kink. I even had a DDLG relationship before I met my husband, but I honestly thought that was just my “special” relationship with the guy I was with. I didn’t know other people called their bf “daddy” and depended on them like a caregiver. If I knew that was a thing, I might be living differently today. I won’t say I Settled because I don’t have a DD, but I definitely wish I had been aware of all my needs then as I am now. 

I hear ya.  There's a saying that while we're here (in this reality, existence, whatever you choose to believe) we're all learning.  I think that when that stops, we need to pull the plug, LOL... this is why I believe Arrogance has no place, Anywhere,  among Doms, Masters, fill in the blanks.  Because if one exudes arrogance, they show that in essence they've stopped learning and growing or evolving as a 'being'.. and I tend to not play nice with them, lol.