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What is something you envy about others?


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Posted

So, I've started this topic completely randomly, since I was curious what some of you envy about others around you. And let's exclude physical traits, since everyone has something about their appearance, which they don't like. 

 

For me it's that I don't really know how to "enjoy" life. I see people around me who live day to day, who struggle to make ends meet, yet they still live their life to the fullest and make the most of what they have. I on the other hand am a very busy individual, caught up in my work ,  projects and studies. I go to sleep each day with a sense of accomplishment, however when it's time to reap the fruits of my labour, I can't really seem to do it. I love to get a couple days off, to reboot. However after that I start to get restless and rather go back to work. For me it's probably a subconcious thing I do, since I know how too much free time can quickly spiral out of control and turn into depression. It's definitely something I have to work on.

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)

Barney , Barney , Barney …… 🧐 Thoughtful as always my friend , making people look at their own brains and what not. 11/10. (And appreciate the exclusion of appearance!) 
 

I can relate to you in not knowing how to fully enjoy life , and it’s nice to hear I’m not alone in that. I can get really crazy beans if left to my own devices for too long without a task or accomplishment to be done. It feels like I’m wasting precious time. Relaxing ? Vacation ? What’s that ? 🫠

 

Something I envy about others is the ability to say no. Granted , this is very situational for me so I will try to give more specific examples of what this means to me. I figured this was a good one to start with , because of how I relate to you and being a busy body not “enjoying” life as much as others. This can be easily taken advantage of by bosses or authority figures in my life. When my work ethic , character , or ability to be reliable are put into question whether if it’s bluntly or passive aggressively….. I crumble 😕 I end up not being able to say no to their requests even if it is asking too much or effecting my mental health. 
 

I watch and listen to my customers talk about receiving a phone call on their day off to come in , and them joking around laughing saying “uh no it’s my day off , I will not be coming in.” 

Or say someone is being put on the spot in public to answer a question , or asked to do a task they’re not necessarily comfortable with and they just go “…….. NAH.” Like all super chill… like it doesn’t even bother them to say no. It’s just … normal ? 
 

HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THAT ?! 

THAT is something I envy. The ability to just say no. 

 

Edited by DaddysMonkey
  • Like 3
Posted
  On 7/21/2022 at 7:27 PM, DaddysMonkey said:

Barney , Barney , Barney …… 🧐 Thoughtful as always my friend , making people look at their own brains and what not. 11/10. (And appreciate the exclusion of appearance!) 
 

I can relate to you I’m not knowing how to fully enjoy life , and it’s nice to hear I’m not alone in that. I can get really crazy beans if left to my own devices for too long without a task or accomplishment to be done. It feels like I’m wasting precious time. Relaxing ? Vacation ? What’s that ? 🫠

 

Something I envy about others is the ability to say no. Granted , this is very situational for me so I will try to give more specific examples of what this means to me. I figured this was a good one to start with , because of how I relate to you and being a busy body not “enjoying” life as much as others. This can be easily taken advantage of by bosses or authority figures in my life. When my work ethic , character , or ability to be reliable are put into question whether it’s it’s bluntly or passive aggressively….. I crumble 😕 I end up not being able to say no to their requests even if it is asking too much or effecting my mental health. 
 

I watch and listen to my customers talk about receiving a phone call on their day off to come in , and them joking around laughing saying “uh no it’s my day off , I will not be coming in.” 

Or say someone is being put on the spot in public to answer a question , or asked to do a task they’re not necessarily comfortable with and they just go “…….. NAH.” Like all super chill… like it doesn’t even bother them to say no. It’s just … normal ? 
 

HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THAT ?! 

THAT is something I envy. The ability to just say no. 

 

Expand  

Ah yes, I struggle with that same thing. At every job I take I somehow turn from being specialized in one or two things to being a jack of all trades , all due to my inability to say no. Now I know that's not something I will be able to change in the foreseeable future, so I try to make lemonade out of poop. I know that sooner or later I'll end up being the person my superiors turn to for everything, since they know I won't say no. When I see things going in that direction I come up to my boss and state my "demands" ... Well they aren't really demans, but things I expect in return for being their go to guy. Like whenever I need a day off I expect to get it no questions asked or grief given. I'm the kind of person that doesen't take days off just cause, but only when I really need them. Then another thing is a certain amount of flexibility with my schedule, since I have projects outside of work as well. I often adapt to their needs I expect the same in return. There's other things as well, but these 2 are my main ones.

 

I do this not only to make the best out of a poor sittuation, but to give myself an "out". Instead of telling myself "they'll start to appreciate and value me eventually" all the time, I set some ground rules, which enable me to quit much easier if they take things too far or my very simple demands aren't being met.

  • Like 3
Posted

This is an amazing topic. 
I envy those who can go day to day with little to no worries. I have Generalized Anxiety and most days I am worrying, about the future or believed mistakes I made in the past or even making the call I need to make in the next 5 minutes. I can get to the point of having a hard time breathing, sick to my stomach or even forced to lay down feeling like to even move I will break into a million pieces. 

I envy those who don't feel this way, or get sick from it. Then i feel horrible for envying them or wishing they knew what it felt like when they tell me to just "get over it".

Anywho.. Sorry. I hope you get alot of good responses here. ITs a great topic. 

Posted

I envy those with extroverted personalities. I have really bad social anxiety and being around people is very draining to me. I wish I could easily just hang out and communicate with people. I wish social situations didn't stress me out and make overthink the entire time. It would make things so much easier just being a part of things and living in the moment, and making friends wouldn't feel like such a chore. Even something as simple as going to the store is this whole thing where I'll stress about it for days leading up to whenever I've planned on going, and the whole day will feel like a stressful whirlwind having to interact with the sales people and just being around other customers.

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Posted

i envy people calm people i get excited and its hard to get my point across . iwish i was more calm and collected lol

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Posted

I envy how people can "turn off" their worrying about others' feelings and be able to stand their ground on boundaries. I am a doormat in recovery. 😔 I envy people who are true to themselves unapologetically. 

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Posted

I envy people with jobs where they can disconnect at the end of the day. I'm a strategic advisor and a very public advocate so even when my day ends or I'm on vacation I'm still required to be connected. I have 2 phones on me 24/7 because my job requires me to be reachable pretty much at all times. People who can just shut down their phones, computers, etc., at quitting time are so so lucky in my mind. I say this after working four 16-20 hour days this week, with of course no OT.

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)

I envy people with an optimistic attitude toward their own life. 
I’m pretty good at cheering other people up and giving other people positivity ,  but when it comes to myself I always think of the worst case scenario or feel like impending doom is coming. 
 

I guess it’s almost like the saying “ignorance is bliss”. 
 

I’ll have customers come into my work , and talk about something awful that happened like their car just got hit and totaled.. but they’re laughing and calm. Like “Pfffft oh well ! Insurance will take care of it , moving on with my day ! 🤩

Like what the actual fuck , hahahaha. That’s out of my realm , when things happen that are out of my control I wish I could be more like the people who can smile through it and just keep swimming. I would be freaking the fuck out , stressing about making phone calls and appointments and when I’m getting my car back and ect. 

Edited by DaddysMonkey
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Posted

I envy how some people don't have to worry about their family. I have a bit of a unique sittuation back home, and that often causes me lots of worries and affects every major decission in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but sometimes it feels like they're both a blessing and a curse. 

If I had a certain stability back home, I could live my life more freely, "gamble" more with the decissions I make and not always go for the safe bet. I'd be able to take opportunities to go abroad for work and maybe move somewhere else.

I repeat, I do love them, but sometimes it just feels suffocating. So I envy those who have better circumstances or at least are so ignorant that they aren't aware of what's going on haha

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)

Hmmmm I am somewhat similar with some of the above responses -

But to list something a little different than those above, I envy those who are able to make jokes about many different things with quick wit. They usually make a room feel more at ease and are quick to make light of a situation (in a good way). They are able to think of something funny so fast!

Don't get me wrong, I am quick to give a big grin and I find lots of types of humor amusing and I don't get offended easily, but I am not the one to create the jokes generally. That's probably due to anxiety making me stuck in my own head, needlessly wondering what others are thinking about me.  

I always admired the "class clown" growing up 😋 Good thing I married one! haha

Edited by LittleStarLight
  • Like 5
Posted (edited)
  On 7/22/2022 at 5:24 PM, Little kaiya said:

I envy people with jobs where they can disconnect at the end of the day. I'm a strategic advisor and a very public advocate so even when my day ends or I'm on vacation I'm still required to be connected. I have 2 phones on me 24/7 because my job requires me to be reachable pretty much at all times. People who can just shut down their phones, computers, etc., at quitting time are so so lucky in my mind. I say this after working four 16-20 hour days this week, with of course no OT.

Expand  

Man can I relate to that. Years ago I used to work at a warehouse doing physical work 8-10 hours a day. It was zero responsibility, and all the competences you needed was to be able to count and not be afraid of tough work. It was hard on my back at times, the pay was way too little for how hard I worked. But man, somedays I wish I had that job again. My former coworkers would probably beat me up if they heard me hahahha. However until you are in a sittuation like this, where you need to be constantly available, where your work carries a certain responsibility and you stress over it constantly, you'll never understand it.

Back then, when I did my 8-10 hours that was that. I clocked out and my only worry was waking up the next day on time. Overall I am much happier and fulfilled now. That job was frustrating in many ways and it was a dead end job, but I do miss that aspect of it.

 

Tho to be fair, I still work a day or 2 a week over there, but it's not out of necessity. Rather I like how it mentally unwinds me. It's just hard work and messing around with the coworkers

Edited by Barney048
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Posted

The ability to stand up for myself. To set boundaries for my own well-being.  

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Posted

I am envious of others’ ability to feel contentment. I feel immense gratitude for what I have been given, been able to give myself, and the privileges I hold, but I go through life always feeling like something is not good enough. I always feel that I could be working harder, that my home could be cleaner or more organized, that I could be trying to be more healthy, or I could find a better job, things of this nature. I envy people who feel they have done enough, or feel content with the way things are in their lives, and don’t feel that inner anxiety to strive for perfection constantly. 

  • Like 4
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
  On 7/23/2022 at 12:28 AM, LoverEcho said:

I am envious of others’ ability to feel contentment. I feel immense gratitude for what I have been given, been able to give myself, and the privileges I hold, but I go through life always feeling like something is not good enough. I always feel that I could be working harder, that my home could be cleaner or more organized, that I could be trying to be more healthy, or I could find a better job, things of this nature. I envy people who feel they have done enough, or feel content with the way things are in their lives, and don’t feel that inner anxiety to strive for perfection constantly. 

Expand  

 

  On 7/22/2022 at 11:13 PM, LittleLavenderGirl said:

The ability to stand up for myself. To set boundaries for my own well-being.  

Expand  

 Honestly these two things I couldn't agree more with. Not only that but, I know a lot of people feel this same way, envious of other people's lives. With social media being so present, I feel like all the "happy" moments are constantly shoved in your face.. which is why i try to stay off them as much as I can because every time I see all those moments, I'm always thinking how that is never going to be me and I'll never have that...especially being 29 and seeing all my old friends getting married with kids and all that.. oof

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I envy people who can be unapologetically themselves!

If i get a super cute outfit and I tell myself I can wear it in public, I will get to where I am going and freak out.  Why can I just not care like everyone else?

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