Who you calling Daddy???

[Winter Lillee]

I would like to know how people feel generally about this situation: A guy finds out that a girl is a “little,” so he automatically starts referring to himself as Daddy while flirting. 

Example being the guys says, “why don’t you let Daddy take you out to dinner? Would baby like that?” 

Im curious if this is acceptable to people in the community? It’s happened to me a lot, people referring to themselves as Daddy before I even know anything much about them. 

I thought the word Daddy was not just a title we throw around. For me, It means something. It means this person is responsible for my well-being and happiness and development and all the things. 

isnt it a part of a relationship dynamic
which is agreed to between two people?
Not just something you automatically
get to be because the person you are
talking to is a little?

Like, can you imagine if people started
referring to themselves as your
boyfriend/girlfriend just because you
were single? I mean, isn’t that kind of the same thing? 

I feel like I won’t be safe with a DaddyDom who doesn’t respect that their position is a gift, not a given. 

Or, are there other viewpoints or factors im not considering? Genuinely curious and open to hearing all perspectives

[Guest VeganGuy95]

It seems to be a common thing on both sides of the dynamic as well as others within BDSM overall. As far as I'm aware it's a universally frowned upon behaviour in all of them.
 

Now in my opinion, much like your comment on how weird it is if someone referred to themselves as your boyfriend/girlfriend, it's a huge red flag. And I personally refuse to be called someone's Daddy or to call myself Daddy until we've talked for a while and it's officially been discussed. Much like having a discussing about whether you're someone's boyfriend/girlfriend. Unless someone was wanting to RP the dynamic but then it's a case of it only be pretend.
 

So yeah, anyone self assigning titles to you or themselves probably aren't taking the dynamic seriously and are a walking red flag. 

[Vampiress]

Daddy is an honorific in the community and absolutely no one should be calling themselves that towards you without your consent, nor should they be calling you little girl, baby girl, etc. Such honorifics should be talked about and usually earned by getting to know each other and forming a dynamic over time. Anyone who does that is clearly not someone who cares about boundaries, taking their time, or taking the appropriate steps to lead up to being able to say that. For me it's a huge red flag that signals either the person is new and has no idea what they're doing, or that they don't care and will bypass consent and say whatever they please. In fact, if someone has "Daddy" or some other honorific in their username I won't use it. I'll shorten it or call them something else but I refuse use honorifics where it hasn't been earned or consented to.

[Littlebluebear]

I’m really glad you brought this up. I think anyone who calls themselves daddy right away or calls you any pet name not agreed upon is not usually good for you. You are completely correct it is a titled earned and agreed upon. And with that if it is agreed upon it should be talked about if something is not working or one of the people in the relationship does not want to continue. This whole relationship dynamic and any bdsm dynamic only works with communication otherwise in my opinion it can get quite toxic. Heck any relationship at all. So when a daddy/mommy starts using terms out of the blue it is a red flag they do not and will not respect you or your well being, they are only talking to you for there own needs. If this is someone you have been talking to for a short period of time, a couple weeks or a month or two and this starts I would just ask them or talk to them about it. Clarify boundaries if you want to keep talking or if there was a misunderstanding. My favorite thing to do in this situation is ask “you do know you aren’t my daddy?” Or “you know we aren’t together right?” And see how they respond to these questions. Remember communicating is key to successful relationships and your own happiness and if the person you are talking to doesn’t want to communicate with you or avoids important conversations it is never a good thing. 
 

I hope this was helpful 😌. And best of lucky with talking to daddies. 

[DaddysMonkey]

Hell fuckin no. 
 

If anyone starts referring to themselves as Daddy or calling me shit like baby , I will go the FUCK off. 
 

1 : You’re NOT my daddy.

2 : Don’t call me pet names , call me anything but Monkey or my real name and we will have an issue. 

3 : I’m an asshole , you’ve awoken the beast and given me an excuse to chew someone out. 
 

That kind of behavior is gross and a huge red flag for me. If someone starts calling themselves your anything without having consent or even being in a relationship , as stated above they probably have no idea what the fuck they are doing OR , they are preying on littles they think are weak minded and will fall for sweet talk. 

I see this happen a lot actually , and there’s a rule for the chat room and site in general to not call people pet names. It still happens anyways , I feel like that’s one of the most entertaining things to watch on this site if I’m honest. A person will sign up , immediately start fishing through members and the gallery to find people they find attractive and will start spamming the fuck out of long time members. Like someone will be on this site for an hour and hit up (PUBLICLY MIND YOU EVERYONE CAN SEE THE GROSS BEHAVIOR) ten different girls saying shit like “wow baby so cute come to daddy”. 
 

🤮 STRAIGHT VOMIT ATTACK BRO 

 

This kind of behavior shows desperation too in my eyes. Not making any connections with anyone , just spamming people until someone finally hits you back up and falls for the compliments. Stuff like calling yourself someones daddy from the get go or calling pet names is a huge sign of disrespect to me and shows you know nothing of the unspoken rules of bdsm and Ddlg , immediately think you’re a joke. 
 

I’ve been a member here for years now , been on staff and know how difficult and time consuming it can be to do this job for free…. So I really do try to be on my best behavior and not just start shit and ruffle feathers by calling out people who do this. But sometimes you have to call people out (in my opinion) otherwise people just continue being gross like this because nobody is brave enough to say something or snap back. I’ve had an experience here (multiple actually) and I try to stay within the rules as to not cause waves but I have no issue at all calling out caregivers. Comment on my pictures with pet names or tell me what to do ? You’ll get embarrassed REAL fuckin fast bro. I am the ULTIMATE brat and will cut you with words. Just because they’re a caregiver doesn’t mean they’re MY caregiver and I don’t have to listen to jack shit they say and don’t have to respect them either. Same concept as a parent to me , you’re not my fuckin dad so you can suck my dick and find someone else to try that fuck shit on loser. 

Edited July 9, 2022 by DaddysMonkey

[DaddysMonkey]

1 hour ago, Vampiress said:

Daddy is an honorific in the community and absolutely no one should be calling themselves that towards you without your consent, nor should they be calling you little girl, baby girl, etc. Such honorifics should be talked about and usually earned by getting to know each other and forming a dynamic over time. Anyone who does that is clearly not someone who cares about boundaries, taking their time, or taking the appropriate steps to lead up to being able to say that. For me it's a huge red flag that signals either the person is new and has no idea what they're doing, or that they don't care and will bypass consent and say whatever they please. In fact, if someone has "Daddy" or some other honorific in their username I won't use it. I'll shorten it or call them something else but I refuse use honorifics where it hasn't been earned or consented to.

Yo I do this too , I’ll straight up leave any names like Dad , Daddy , Master ect and just use the rest of the name. 

[Andriel_Isilien]

Just because you are a little or sub doesn't mean you don't call the shots. Submission is given not taken. Pet names, honorific titles, etc are given not taken. You hold that power to give the respect and titles to whom you feel deserves it. Anyone who takes that for themselves are not worth your time.

This goes both ways; a daddy wanting others to call him "sir, daddy, etc" and littles who want others to call them "baby, your baby, etc" without first asking for consent and respecting the answer "No".

[AngelwithoutWings]

I couldn't agree more with you and everyone who has already posted. While I am still new to things my caretaker and I have had so many long, involved conversations about us, the lifestyle, and everything in between. When we talk about rules, pet names, and such he always stresses to me that my submission, is earned by him and I can take it away at anytime. Pretty much everything that you all have said, he's said to me. 

He's been in the lifestyle for some time but wanted me to join here, make friends, and talk with people so I could get informed and see how different relationships are etc. Even before we decided to start down this road, when we first started talking, he would ask me before using a pet name or term of endearment. That was something I had never experienced before off/online so it helped to make me very comfortable with him.

[Winter Lillee]

Thanks everyone who replied   This was very helpful for me. 

[baby_k]

I actually take this even further: I don' tolerate any baby talk or "taking care" of me from random people. It is condescending.

Example: I tell I had rought and busy day at work and didn't have time to eat. They go: "oh, not eating healthy whola day? We can't have that can we? This need to be fixed".

That could be adorable but only from person I have somewhat close bond. Whether it is a friend, daddy or colleague. But not from someone I hardly know.

[Vampiress]

1 hour ago, baby_k said:

I actually take this even further: I don' tolerate any baby talk or "taking care" of me from random people. It is condescending.

Example: I tell I had rought and busy day at work and didn't have time to eat. They go: "oh, not eating healthy whola day? We can't have that can we? This need to be fixed".

That could be adorable but only from person I have somewhat close bond. Whether it is a friend, daddy or colleague. But not from someone I hardly know.

Omg I hate this when some random Dom will chat me up and start trying to place rules on me. Like hello? Who are you? When did I agree this was okay? lol. One of many easy to spot red flags to run in the other direction.

[Little Becca]

I don’t think that behavior is really acceptable to anyone who understands this dynamic and takes it seriously. It has happened to me before, too, but not really on this site. From my experience, most people seem to be pretty respectful here. 

When someone has done that to me in the past, I just assumed pretty quickly that they were not for me. And generally, I would just quit responding. 

[Littlebluebear]

3 hours ago, baby_k said:

I actually take this even further: I don' tolerate any baby talk or "taking care" of me from random people. It is condescending.

Example: I tell I had rought and busy day at work and didn't have time to eat. They go: "oh, not eating healthy whola day? We can't have that can we? This need to be fixed".

That could be adorable but only from person I have somewhat close bond. Whether it is a friend, daddy or colleague. But not from someone I hardly know.

I completely agree with this. Maybe it bothers me a little more when daddies go straight to the baby talk because I’m not an adult baby I’m a little with a little age of 4-7. They all just assume everyone is the same or every little is what they want. And I hate when I’m trying to get to know someone and they are trying to fix me. Like if we are talking about what kind of rules are best or are usually given out then talking about eating is one thing but forcing the rule onto me right then is another thing. 
 

Also hate when daddies expect right off the back to be able to punish a little for bad behaviors. Like excuse me what I don’t have to listen to you. Let’s just say little me is a little bratty but big me can take care of that situation. 
 

OMG yes having a bond is everything in this too. Some daddy’s just expect trust but that is earned show me you deserve my trust. And I do have some close friends I feel safe with. 
 

Thank you for bringing that up necessary topic to talk about 😌

[ZenDaddy]

As a Dom and Daddy, taking such liberties without either consent or a rapport being established between the two is a huge red flag, and as so many have suggested, a sign of how little they regard the boundaries of someone they barely or simply Don't know.  Even among Mistresses or Dommes.. if I have one more that chats me up with the intro, "So, you want to worship at my feet Slave???", I'm gonna puke!!  Lol... First of all, you've proven you lack simple skills such as Reading, if I have a profile up.. and secondly!?!   😖 Lol, yeah don't get me started..  So, it DOES go both ways.  

To be a Daddy and Dom is an honor, and when addressing a Submissive and or Little especially for the first time, should also reflect the 'honoring' of them and their being.  Having raised daughters, I'm especially guarded when it comes to this type of conversation.  My advice to any of my girls if they found themselves in a similar situation??  Run... lol, and don't give them the benefit of even looking back!! 

[MellyCat]

I am not sure that I will say anything here that hasn't already been said but I will throw my two cents in too. I was reading a similar post few months back entitled "when should I call him Daddy" and the consensus for that was "when and if you feel the relationship has progressed to such a point." And as has been said already "titles (and submission) is given not taken" you cannot just assume the identity of Daddy. I am in the middle of the honorifics debate. I have used the term "Sir" as a respectful name for a dominant who is not my own and some do not agree with it but I was raised in such a way that I feel it is important to show respect. I have allowed Doms not my own to refer to me as "little one" or similar, but DO NOT call me baby, babygirl, or anything on that spectrum. Those are titles sacred to those within a dynamic. Just as I will not refer to any other Dom as Daddy, it would represent a complete lack of respect for my Dominant or potential Daddy. At least that is my opinion

xxMelly