My daddy told me he needs a break from me. I am very sad.

[Little Becca]

18 hours ago, Ticklechambers said:Whenever I think of what a Daddy should do or react like... I imagine what would they do if they were truly interacting with a child? Does he expect a child truly to only ask questions at the end of a conversation? Would he really use the phrase "need a break from you," to a child? Those are things that seem more applicable to a big relationship... not a DDLG one. That's my perspective though - maybe other's differ. 

I feel strongly about this topic - but I really liked what libradaddy1980 had to say. it seemed very measured and fair. 

Thank you so much for your response and kind words, Tickle. They make so much sense to me and they make be feel better, like I didn’t do something wrong. Especially about how he would interact with a child. And no, he generally has treated me in a way I doubt he would treat an actual child. 

As I look back, he really hasn’t treated me as my true age (which is what I call my little age!). In my heart and mind, I am a child; it’s only my body that is grown-up. As you said, I can act like an adult when I need to (like I have a good job and work hard), but that’s the pretending part for me, acting grown up. It is hard for me. 

I offered a lot of emotional support to him and always tried to listen, but I often felt as though I was taking on a role, like at work, when I did that and he didn’t replenish me. I am also a submissive little, and I truly enjoy being obedient and having my daddy be proud of me, so I sort of looked at the behavior adjustments I made as a way of being obedient and submissive to him, but actually I was just having to act grown-up a lot, I think. 

I never ever mind to offer support and listening to my daddy, I think that is nice. But I confess I want that in return, too. There are other things I could say, examples I could give of this, but I do not want to sound like I am badmouthing him, I do not want to do that.  

I will just add that there would be discussing of scary news stories and such, which would leave me feeling afraid and anxious. I purposely don’t watch the news because it is scary and sad to me most of the time. There were many times, more often than not I would say, when he seemed to expect me to act big, as I think about it now. 

Thank you for your reply and help so much, Tickle!!!!  This really helps me, too. 😊😊😊😊😊

[Little Becca]

17 hours ago, Libradaddy1980 said:

 

Sometimes what seems like a good match in the beginning turns out not to be. Sometimes when working a puzzle you accidentally put two pieces together that fit shape wise but later on you find the correct match. That's what has happened here. There is no blame on anyone. 

Yes I think this is actually right, I think!!  About the puzzle pieces. I think maybe I thought the pieces fit together, but actually they don’t really. 

That is sad and it hurts lots but I do think that is just the truth, sadly. I thought I was gonna be with him forever so this is hard to think about but it is true. I know it will be hard to heal from this, but I am also looking forward to just being my real little self again, and not worrying about being annoying or feeling anxious I might upset him, or worrying about being a burden. That’s the worst thing, the idea that I am a burden.
 

Thank you for saying that I shouldn’t change, and that I am good just as I am!!! And thank you for being supportive and offering support, I truly appreciate it and sharing this has made me feel so much better. 

[Little Becca]

21 hours ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:
💕

 

16 hours ago, Ticklechambers said:

I am always open to new little friends! You can add me on Snapchat if you are keen x we are all in this together ♥️ Hehe you called me the t word hahaha 

Heheheh thank you!!!  Yep I did, *tickle tickle tickle!!!* 😊😊😊😊😊

[LoverEcho]

23 hours ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:

Thank you so much, Echo. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. 

I have asked him about the dynamic - pretty recently, actually - and he always assures me that this is what he wants, that he loves me, etc. The more I reflect, however, the more I wonder if he just wants a “bedroom only” situation, which is not at all what I want and I have been up front about the from the onset. If he reaches out to me again, I will ask him. 

The thing is, his responses to questions or his feelings about things can really throw me off guard sometimes and I hesitate to ask him questions or voice my concerns, because I am afraid I might come across wrong to him. I have made a lot of adjustments in the way I speak and act to try to remedy that issue, and also have tried not to be demanding in what I expect from him, because I realize he is so busy and I try to show love and respect for him. 

Hopefully your Daddy isn't one of the ones that turns out to purely want the dynamic in the bedroom. It is very common to come in contact with people who do, but normally you learn a lot sooner. From reading more, I am wondering if perhaps he is just more stressed than normal? I am not entirely sure how long you have been having issues. If it is more recent, maybe that is the explanation?

In any kind of relationship, doubts can quickly creep in and make you feel inadequate. Perhaps he feels he cannot express himself and is having those internal doubts that he cannot give you what you need, and instead of talking about this, he is taking it out on you. This is by no means right, and I'm sorry if this has been addressed in the thread already, I am just trying to think of other potential explanations. 

The only way to know is to sit down and have a conversation with him. You have said it's hard for you to do this because of his reactions, but I do hope after his time away that he is willing to give you that. 

[Little Becca]

13 hours ago, gentledaddydom1988 said:

I'm not sure I'll have much else to add that hasn't already been expressed better by people earlier. My heart hurts for you, OP. I'm a daddy who's particularly sensitive toward lack of enough time and communication in a relationship. I'm sorry you've been going through this. I definitely feel for you, knowing I've personally related on at least some level myself at times, and knowing that this kind of dynamic requires extra care and patience for the little, which in this case, you don't seem to be getting enough from your daddy. I also don't like the way he treats you in discussions. Like others have said in some form or another, you deserve better. I don't see things improving, if he remains as busy as he is. I'm also afraid he may say or do worse things to lash out and hurt you even worse, whether he means to or not.

Please be careful. If he keeps up a pattern of hurting you with his words and actions, I'd strongly suggest ending things with him. Even right now I suspect he's crossed a line of no return, but that's a judgment call that neither I nor anyone else here can make for you.

Thank you so much for your response, Gentledaddy. I felt like I was always wrong and now I am seeing that it was ok to have the expectations I had, that I would receive that extra patience, care, and understanding. I did go into this relationship with the understanding that that is how it would be. 

I think he gets upset and says hurtful things that maybe he doesn’t mean or even come across in a way he didn’t intend. I have forgiven this many, many times. (And also I have said hurtful things, too. Out of frustration, of being upset or hurt. I don’t want it to sound like only he did those things.)

What I have noticed with him is that these things he says sometimes are getting worse with how much they hurt my feelings. And I think it might just be part of his personality, that he lashes out when he is very very stressed or upset.  So I don’t think it’s something that will go away, and I don’t want to get my feelings hurt worse and worse. 

Thank you again for your concern and kind words, and I know I just don’t want to do this anymore. I just want to be my little self with a peaceful life. It is very hard though, going through this. 

[Little Becca]

9 hours ago, Izzybella16 said:

So sorry this is happening. I can relate. I wish I knew what to say to make it all better. Sending you air hugs and you can chat with me if you want. 

Thank you Izzy, I love air hugs very very much!!! And also I am sending you air hugs too, and I really hope that you feel better, too. And also I am sorry that you can relate, it is hard to have this happen. 

[Little Becca]

3 hours ago, LoverEcho said:

Hopefully your Daddy isn't one of the ones that turns out to purely want the dynamic in the bedroom. It is very common to come in contact with people who do, but normally you learn a lot sooner. From reading more, I am wondering if perhaps he is just more stressed than normal? I am not entirely sure how long you have been having issues. If it is more recent, maybe that is the explanation?

Hi Echo. Thank you for your response and concerns. 💕💕💕💕💕

I think I am sometimes slow to pick up on things, and the thought that he might be a bedroom-only Daddy didn’t occur to me until yesterday. He said he wanted the same kind of dynamic as I want, but he never really reflected this to me except for a handful of times.  I think it is possible this would have been different if he weren’t so stressed (and I do not see his work stress ending anytime soon, sadly), but at this point, after a lot of thought, our situation and what he said to me, both when he snapped at me for being anxious and his response to my apology, just shows me he doesn’t value me very much or have the patience for me. 

He was very busy, the store was busy. I didn’t realize there was a rush going on, but evidently there was. We had been discussing this complex topic for about 6 hours. Throughout the time, although I tried not to, I asked some questions. The topic was too complex for me, and I told him I thought I should learn the basics on my own before we discuss things further. (And I should say that I really love to be taught [especially by my daddy], and I love learning about things and I often enjoy long sessions of learning but, as I’ve said before, it’s just hard when I feel scared to ask questions.)

He responded that what he was teaching me were indeed the basics, and then went on to list some decimals and use terms I didn’t understand, and that’s when I got anxious. Without going into a lot of detail, my mother was emotionally abusive to me growing up. (We have worked through things and have a very good relationship now - she had undiagnosed, unmanaged depression and anxiety back then.) I had a lot of trouble learning math. It was really hard for me. My mother is a math teacher. Some of my most shameful memories involve things she said to me when she was trying to help me with my math homework. 

I have never really had the opportunity to tell him about this, only that my mother wasn’t affectionate toward me growing up, because he is so busy, but he also never asked about my life or my past. We talked about his often, but never mine. After I got nervous and was very flustered, he told me to ask my questions now, but I had forgotten them. I tried to explain that I felt nervous, and he told me to just ask my questions so he didn’t feel he’d wasted his time. I tried to explain that the situation was bringing upsetting things up for me, but he replied, “I don’t have time to be the psychotherapist, sorry.”

I was very upset and told him I loved him but that made me very angry, that I was going to watch cartoons then go ni nite. And then I said, “No need for you to play the *%#&$ psychotherapist.” And I said a very bad word there, which I know was disrespectful and I should not have said that, and I almost never say that bad word but I did that time. 

We didn’t talk the entire next day, and then the following night I couldn’t sleep, and I texted him an apology, but I also told him that what he said hurt my feelings. He then sent the response I have been referencing. He said he wouldn’t apologize because he did nothing wrong, and I was the one who had a panic attack for “no reason.”

We were together about 9 months. He started snapping at me relatively early on, and I forgave it always because I know how busy and stressed he is. But things have just slowly escalated, and as I type this I realize that this was very mean of him (even more than I thought), and he is certainly not the right daddy for me. This has been eye-opening for me and I have decided it’s necessary for us to part ways. I just can’t get past some of the things he has said to me. I will always think, in the back of my mind, that I am a burden to him and that he will need “time off” from me.

This is heartbreaking and I wanted things to be different. I am sad because I thought at first he was my forever Daddy. He has a lot of qualities I admire.  He is very intelligent and he works hard, and he could be so sweet to me and told me nice things about me. But everything has just sort of hit me, about how little patience and tolerance he has for me. I am anxious with him almost all the time now. His mood could turn on a dime. Regardless of whether it’s because of life stressors, I don’t think he should be mean to me. 

Thank you again for your support and I really appreciate this community, that I can talk about these things and be myself here. I think everyone here has been so nice to me and I really really appreciate it and I am grateful for it too!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Edited July 5, 2022 by LittleLavenderGirl

[LoverEcho]

8 minutes ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:

This is heartbreaking and I wanted things to be different. I am sad because I thought at first he was my forever Daddy. He has a lot of qualities I admire.  He is very intelligent and he works hard, and he could be so sweet to me and told me nice things about me. But everything has just sort of hit me, about how little patience and tolerance he has for me. I am anxious with him almost all the time now. His mood could turn on a dime. Regardless of whether it’s because of life stressors, I don’t think he should be mean to me. 

Thank you again for your support and I really appreciate this community, that I can talk about these things and be myself here. I think everyone here has been so nice to me and I really really appreciate it and I am grateful for it too!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕

I am glad that you have figured out what is best for you through all of this. It can be hard to take that step away from someone we’ve loved. 
 

It seems to me he may need to sort out his work-life balance and have some self-reflection. From reading your interactions, there was no reason why he should have been so short with you. You were just trying to express yourself, and he was being dismissive and disrespectful. I truly hope he is able to grow as a person for the better. 
 

You’ll make it through this! This community is really great, there will be people here to help you along the way. 💕

[Little Becca]

1 hour ago, LoverEcho said:

I am glad that you have figured out what is best for you through all of this. It can be hard to take that step away from someone we’ve loved. 
 

It seems to me he may need to sort out his work-life balance and have some self-reflection.

Thank you so much, Echo. 💕💕💕💕💕

I honestly hope the best for him and I told him such. I hope his life gets easier. I don’t want him to be sad, but it’s clear he wasn’t happy with me. I truly hope he finds happiness and finds who he is looking for. I know I require patience, and I require someone who asks about me and my life, and who I wants to help me with my anxiety. Someone who enjoys helping a little girl in this way. That isn’t him, at least not right now - he has too much to worry about in his life; and I did my best to be patient but this was the final straw and I just don’t feel like I could ever go to him with anything. 

I have sent him a text with my thoughts and that it is time we part ways. (Our relationship was pretty much only texting.) I really hope everything works out well with him. I feel better now and I am happy to be in this community!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕💕💕

[Guest Libradaddy1980]

22 hours ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:

Yes I think this is actually right, I think!!  About the puzzle pieces. I think maybe I thought the pieces fit together, but actually they don’t really. 

That is sad and it hurts lots but I do think that is just the truth, sadly. I thought I was gonna be with him forever so this is hard to think about but it is true. I know it will be hard to heal from this, but I am also looking forward to just being my real little self again, and not worrying about being annoying or feeling anxious I might upset him, or worrying about being a burden. That’s the worst thing, the idea that I am a burden.
 

Thank you for saying that I shouldn’t change, and that I am good just as I am!!! And thank you for being supportive and offering support, I truly appreciate it and sharing this has made me feel so much better. 

You're so very welcome. 

Never ever apologize for being who you are. And never ever accept someone who does not accept you just as you are. 

I fully understand thinking you would be with him forever. I have been there with a couple of Littles. Unfortunately, sometimes the redflags do not start showing themselves for months, sometimes even years into a relationship. 

Get back to knowing your little self. Remember how it feels to be little without worrying about upsetting someone else. Be happy being you again. Everything else will sort itself out when the time is right.

Your forever Daddy is out there looking for you. He will find you. Be patient.

When getting to know a new, potential Daddy if he does or says anything that makes you wonder if he is the right fit do not be afraid to ask questions. If he doesn't want to answer every question you have then he is not the one.

[Little Becca]

1 hour ago, Libradaddy1980 said:

You're so very welcome. 

Never ever apologize for being who you are. And never ever accept someone who does not accept you just as you are. 

I fully understand thinking you would be with him forever. I have been there with a couple of Littles. Unfortunately, sometimes the redflags do not start showing themselves for months, sometimes even years into a relationship. 

Get back to knowing your little self. Remember how it feels to be little without worrying about upsetting someone else. Be happy being you again. Everything else will sort itself out when the time is right.

Your forever Daddy is out there looking for you. He will find you. Be patient.

When getting to know a new, potential Daddy if he does or says anything that makes you wonder if he is the right fit do not be afraid to ask questions. If he doesn't want to answer every question you have then he is not the one.

Thank you!!!  This advice was lovely and it made me feel very very nice and good, and that is exactly what I am gonna do!!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊

[Little Becca]

I wanted to tell everyone that my Daddy and I had a very long talk. He saw this thread and it helped him to see my point of view, and to see where he was lacking in his role. And it is gonna take time a lotsa talking, but I think we are on a path toward recovery at this point. And I am very very very happy for that!!!

And also, I love this community so so so so so much, and I have missed it dearly. (My Daddy never said I couldn’t come here or anything; I just fell away for a while after I met him.) Everyone here is very very very nice and good, and I just love it here so much, and also I hope I can always keep learning many things from everyone here!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[LoverEcho]

28 minutes ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:

I wanted to tell everyone that my Daddy and I had a very long talk. He saw this thread and it helped him to see my point of view, and to see where he was lacking in his role. And it is gonna take time a lotsa talking, but I think we are on a path toward recovery at this point. And I am very very very happy for that!!!

Oh I’m so happy for you! I’m glad he was willing to have a conversation about everything and try to see your side of the situation. I hope you both can continue to talk through everything and come back stronger than ever! 💕

[Izzybella16]

2 hours ago, LittleLavenderGirl said:

I wanted to tell everyone that my Daddy and I had a very long talk. He saw this thread and it helped him to see my point of view, and to see where he was lacking in his role. And it is gonna take time a lotsa talking, but I think we are on a path toward recovery at this point. And I am very very very happy for that!!!

And also, I love this community so so so so so much, and I have missed it dearly. (My Daddy never said I couldn’t come here or anything; I just fell away for a while after I met him.) Everyone here is very very very nice and good, and I just love it here so much, and also I hope I can always keep learning many things from everyone here!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

So glad you were able to work it out! Being able to talk like this is a great assest in your relationship. I understand learning a lot and love that we are all in this journey together. 

[Little Becca]

21 hours ago, LoverEcho said:

Oh I’m so happy for you! I’m glad he was willing to have a conversation about everything and try to see your side of the situation. I hope you both can continue to talk through everything and come back stronger than ever! 💕

Thank you so so so so so much, Echo!!!! And also my Daddy thinks you are very smart, and I do, too. You are such a nice friend so much!!!!  You have helped us both. Thank you!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

[Little Becca]

19 hours ago, Izzybella16 said:

So glad you were able to work it out! Being able to talk like this is a great assest in your relationship. I understand learning a lot and love that we are all in this journey together. 

Yes Izzy and also my Daddy valued your input very much; and of course so did I!!!!  You are a very special little friend!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 And also I think it will be fun for us to be in the coloring contest together and I hope you win so so so so so much!!!!!! 

[Little Becca]

And like, also, I think sometimes these things must happen in relationships. Sometimes they are hard. I am glad that things seem to be on a nice path for us. And also, I want everyone to also be on the nicest and bestest path, too!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Izzybella16]

Yup. Try to remember (I know this part is really hard) if we didn't have the bad hard times we couldn't really appreciate and enjoy all the good times. We would never grow and better ourselves. So keep spreading your wings little butterfly! ❤

[Little Becca]

18 hours ago, Izzybella16 said:

Yup. Try to remember (I know this part is really hard) if we didn't have the bad hard times we couldn't really appreciate and enjoy all the good times. We would never grow and better ourselves. So keep spreading your wings little butterfly! ❤

Ohhhh I love to be a little butterfly so so so so SO much!!!! And you didn’t realize it, but butterflies hold a special meaning for my Daddy and me. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Thank you so much, Izzy -  and thank you to everyone, who has helped and supported me through this. Regardless of the outcome, it is clear that I will always be able to rely on this community for anything. I just love so much to be friends with Littles like me, and Daddies who understand how Littles are. And this has also showed my Daddy a lot, too. There are so many smart people here!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️💘💘💘💘💘

[LoverEcho]

On 7/7/2022 at 6:58 PM, LittleLavenderGirl said:

Thank you so so so so so much, Echo!!!! And also my Daddy thinks you are very smart, and I do, too. You are such a nice friend so much!!!!  You have helped us both. Thank you!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

Aww, so sweet of you both! I’m happy I could help in some way! 💕😊