need advice

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

hello there beautiful doms and littles, whoever happens to read this,

i am back here on this forum and truth be told im not very happy or finding it joyful as i used to to be here. the last time i was here i ended up attatching myself to this monster and in the end he ended up ghosting me, that experience was...destroying because..as a girl who is studying neuroscience and someone who doesn´t take poop from anyone, i showed this man the most vulnerable side of me and it ended so horribly, as a little that was damaging too much. now im here after almost 5 months or so and the moment i open my inbox there are friend requests and messages, from these wonderful people but im way too scared to reply or getting to know them or letting them get to know me. im not someone  who often runs from challenges or fights but rather confronts them head on, but i dont think my little side can handle that sort of an incident again. so what do i do? i believe maybe this is the only site i can be who i am but on the other hand this forum has scared me to death to be vulnarable infront of anyone ever again. so what do i do? being a little is who i am and i do not want to lose who i am but..who i am is also not accepted sometimes, so what does one do then? what do i do now? need some guidance please. 

[Bumbl3B33]

..who i am is also not accepted sometimes, so what does one do then? what do i do now? need some guidance please. 

I am so sorry. No one ever should go though that. But it does.  I have been there. 

 

I can only speak for myself... It took me a long time to trust anyone after.  While I was hiding I became a person I didn't know or like. I finally had to start slow.   This is where I came to start showing who I  again.  I asked questions to some people in open chats. I kept conversing with the same people and I now have a couple real good friends in here. I too, am scared all da time. It's not fun or fair.

 

I Suggest you work on what you want in a friend, caregiver, or partner. If you dunno know what you want, then other may try to influence your decision. It's hard being open about oneself. But you do sound like a strong resourceful kind of person.  You just gotta remember you are worth being picky and protective of yourself.     

 

if at anytime you wanna talk I'm here with an ear. By the way I'm glad your here.  Lot of luv

Edited May 5, 2022 by Bumbl3B33

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

hey, thnku so much for your kind words! they were helpful, i do know what i want in my daddy but..sharing it with a stranger now scares me too much. i cannot handle, that incident again, talking for 2 weeks the hwole day and night and then suddenly that other person is gone, okay, if this was my big side fine, i´ve been through worse but this was my little side, how am i supposed to ever let someone in again? i feel like crying whenever i try to be a little infront of someone now, because im too scared to get hurt. and it was a daddy, that one person was not supposed to hurt me. but..whatever. thnks so much.

[Bumbl3B33]

I cry all da time. I doesn't sound like your fully healed yet and that is okay, okay. When it is right you'll know. We as littles trust and love so openly. It is beautiful and a gift. Hang in there wee one. Just be yourself and helpers are everywhere. Just gotta look. Find a safe comfy spot and do some self care; color, bath, crowns, whatever makes your Little happy. Even just a minute or so.  The first part is always the hardest. Keep you head up. I does get better. Maybe just have friends for now. Worry about a CG later. You need to heal first. You do You, and it'll work out. Just takes time. Luvs

Edited May 5, 2022 by Bumbl3B33

[Lonely_Teardrop]

I truly know how that feels I am actually going through something similar I recently kind of sort of got dumped by my daddy he didn't officially break up with me but we live together and I'm finding it very hard also to like show my vulnerable side compared to how I used to be very open and free with it and I literally just joined last night I've never joined sites like this I kind of kept my little secret I told him because I felt like I could trust him and it just ended up with me being my heart broken he proposed to me and we are buying a house together and he uses my car to get back and forth to work and we still sleep in the same room he doesn't touch me he barely even talks to me it's almost like I'm invisible and I want so badly to be myself and it's like he's not understanding so when it comes to like your problem that you need it right with I'm kind of curious too because I don't know what to do either this literally just happened we were going on 2 years together he was my first Daddy and I honestly feel lost and I don't know what to do so thank you for listening I appreciate it and if you want to talk I am here for you

[humanmusic]

hello there beautiful doms and littles, whoever happens to read this,

i am back here on this forum and truth be told im not very happy or finding it joyful as i used to to be here. the last time i was here i ended up attatching myself to this monster and in the end he ended up ghosting me, that experience was...destroying because..as a girl who is studying neuroscience and someone who doesn´t take poop from anyone, i showed this man the most vulnerable side of me and it ended so horribly, as a little that was damaging too much. now im here after almost 5 months or so and the moment i open my inbox there are friend requests and messages, from these wonderful people but im way too scared to reply or getting to know them or letting them get to know me. im not someone  who often runs from challenges or fights but rather confronts them head on, but i dont think my little side can handle that sort of an incident again. so what do i do? i believe maybe this is the only site i can be who i am but on the other hand this forum has scared me to death to be vulnarable infront of anyone ever again. so what do i do? being a little is who i am and i do not want to lose who i am but..who i am is also not accepted sometimes, so what does one do then? what do i do now? need some guidance please. 

 

I think you just need to take things very slowly. Keep things to messages through the site's system and become good friends with people for months before ever taking anything to the next level.

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

I truly know how that feels I am actually going through something similar I recently kind of sort of got dumped by my daddy he didn't officially break up with me but we live together and I'm finding it very hard also to like show my vulnerable side compared to how I used to be very open and free with it and I literally just joined last night I've never joined sites like this I kind of kept my little secret I told him because I felt like I could trust him and it just ended up with me being my heart broken he proposed to me and we are buying a house together and he uses my car to get back and forth to work and we still sleep in the same room he doesn't touch me he barely even talks to me it's almost like I'm invisible and I want so badly to be myself and it's like he's not understanding so when it comes to like your problem that you need it right with I'm kind of curious too because I don't know what to do either this literally just happened we were going on 2 years together he was my first Daddy and I honestly feel lost and I don't know what to do so thank you for listening I appreciate it and if you want to talk I am here for you

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

I truly know how that feels I am actually going through something similar I recently kind of sort of got dumped by my daddy he didn't officially break up with me but we live together and I'm finding it very hard also to like show my vulnerable side compared to how I used to be very open and free with it and I literally just joined last night I've never joined sites like this I kind of kept my little secret I told him because I felt like I could trust him and it just ended up with me being my heart broken he proposed to me and we are buying a house together and he uses my car to get back and forth to work and we still sleep in the same room he doesn't touch me he barely even talks to me it's almost like I'm invisible and I want so badly to be myself and it's like he's not understanding so when it comes to like your problem that you need it right with I'm kind of curious too because I don't know what to do either this literally just happened we were going on 2 years together he was my first Daddy and I honestly feel lost and I don't know what to do so thank you for listening I appreciate it and if you want to talk I am here for you

Hey, i understand that must be painful and hard for you, i get it. If it helps we can be friends together and maybe be there for each throught this awful time? You can always gladly hit me up and maybe we can little conversations pr whatever that might be helpful for you.

[Lonely_Teardrop]

That would be great I honestly don't have any friends that are available and I also don't want to be a burden on them every one has stuff going on why put my problems in with that

[Bumbl3B33]

That would be great I honestly don't have any friends that are available and I also don't want to be a burden on them every one has stuff going on why put my problems in with that

To be honest, I think most of us littleLittles have this problem. I, myself don't wanna be a burden to others. We know first hand we're a lot. But there are many of us that are home and bored at times. ButBut so far I have found nothing but loving friendships with both Doms and Littles a like on here. I like being seen without pressure. And I love the fact that this feels like a support group for my Little BumbleBee to learn and chat with others. No worries we all have those feelings, but I'm glad your here and hope you enjoy!   Lots of luvs

[Nymph]

Keep your posts public, avoid DM for a while.

 

The thing with online relationships is... everyone is perfect for each other early on. It's easy to not let your bad side show or omit some details. With DDlg or any kink really, it's even more intense because you open a side of yourself that you don't show to just anyone. Focus on friendship with similar people to you for now, learn how to get into little space on your own so you are not desperate for a daddy and when the right person comes along you will have a safety net.

 

I am curious though... are you calling this guy a monster just because he ghosted you after two weeks? please do keep in mind it takes time to get to know someone and he perhaps figured out you two weren't a match. It sucks he didn't have the balls to tell you but I wouldn't call him a monster for that, not even a fake daddy.

[Lonely_Teardrop]

To be honest, I think most of us littleLittles have this problem. I, myself don't wanna be a burden to others. We know first hand we're a lot. But there are many of us that are home and bored at times. ButBut so far I have found nothing but loving friendships with both Doms and Littles a like on here. I like being seen without pressure. And I love the fact that this feels like a support group for my Little BumbleBee to learn and chat with others. No worries we all have those feelings, but I'm glad your here and hope you enjoy!   Lots of luvs

 

 

 

I don't know if I did this right but honestly I am hoping for friends in this group it's the one thing I am hoping to get out of this

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

Keep your posts public, avoid DM for a while.

 

The thing with online relationships is... everyone is perfect for each other early on. It's easy to not let your bad side show or omit some details. With DDlg or any kink really, it's even more intense because you open a side of yourself that you don't show to just anyone. Focus on friendship with similar people to you for now, learn how to get into little space on your own so you are not desperate for a daddy and when the right person comes along you will have a safety net.

 

I am curious though... are you calling this guy a monster just because he ghosted you after two weeks? please do keep in mind it takes time to get to know someone and he perhaps figured out you two weren't a match. It sucks he didn't have the balls to tell you but I wouldn't call him a monster for that, not even a fake daddy.

im calling him a monster because, he played this insane game with me, he told me he needed me he wanted me to need him he wanted me to be vulnerable with him, he said he loved me he couldnt wait to meet me, i agree i should not have been that idiotic and vulnerable with him but..still, it was my little side. how could anyone do this to a llittle? i told him from the start what i could take and what not, but yet he did this weird thing, where he said all those wonderful things and then afterwards he just blocked me from everywhere the day before when we were supposed to have our first video call, what the poop am i supposed to think about that?

[Little kaiya]

Consider it as dodging a bullet. Better to find out early than like a year in.

[CuteToBe]

Some people are rotten getting close to others then taking advantage. Manipulation and abandonment usually follows too.

 

And the hurt terror and heartbreak they inflicted.

 

I don't know how people like that justify their actions but they do.

 

If I may suggest approach a potential caregiver as a friend and equal. I know what it's like to wanna be cared for.

 

But you can't put your most vulnérable parts in the hands of a stranger.

 

Trust and a healthy relationship simply take time to develope.

 

It may take a long time for you to recover just take it easy, take it slow, don't blame yourself and when you're able put the blame on the monster.

 

And when your able make sense of what happened and learn how to avoid it in the future.

[Andriel_Isilien]

I agree with the above comments wholeheartedly about giving yourself time. It's difficult wanting to bring the future of when things have already work out to the here and now. Don't worry about trying to answer the question, "Will I be able to trust ever again?" It's too soon for that now while you are grieving over the hurt. I'm so sorry that someone else broke your trust like that, especially in this context of Ddlg when that is SUCH a big deal. No little should have to go through that. You are not alone. 💗 This community is great and has been helping me get out of the mind loop that stresses me out so much. 

It's ok that you don't feel ready for private messaging. You are brave for being here and asking for advice. Take things at your pace, no one else's. Don't push yourself to be ready to trust again. It will happen but only when you have properly moved through this heartache. So, stay public like in this discussion. Read what others have been talking about on topics which interest you. Focus on your little self because you need yourself the most. Sending you hugs!! 🤗 

[Guest Curiousowl2097]

thank you to verryyyoone for all the wonderful comments and the hugs and the encouraging words!!! i love you all other little so much! you guys gimme hope and make visiting this site worth it!