Phoney Daddy

[Clairbear]

Your daddy title is given to you out of respect. 

 

Littles expect respect from their daddy just like a daddy would expect respect as well.

 

We aren't all the same.

 

We don't all color the same books.

 

We don't all like disney. 

 

We don't all like being called bad names or being spoken down too.

 

Don't message me if you can't respect me for who I am. I'm sure a lot of other littles feel this way.

 

Especially because of all the phoney daddies on here. 

 

We aren't all one little and it's getting quite frustrating to meet daddies on here who treat me like they already know me. No, that's not what I like. No, that's not what I'm thinking.

 

Guh. What do you guys think about this? Am I the only one who has experienced this kind of flustration? 

[Anjelle]

You are so not alone.

[lilvioletcub]

I just want to start off by saying this isn't a dating website I mean yes you can meet a possible love intreaste on here but that shouldn't be the only reason your on here.

That goes for the Daddies as well. little, daddy those are just titles, and not how someone is 24/7 I think if you stopped looking for a daddy and started looking for a partner who is also into DD/lg you'll fair better.  you start a relationship out as big then move on to the DD/lg aspect

 

Phony daddies are the ones to call themselves daddy off the bat

also your going to get friend requests by people you don't know the key is have you talked to them though the chat room or on the fourm like this if so then you can consider adding them as a friend

[Clairbear]

I just want to start off by saying this isn't a dating website I mean yes you can meet a possible love intreaste on here but that shouldn't be the only reason your on here.

That goes for the Daddies as well. little, daddy those are just titles, and not how someone is 24/7 I think if you stopped looking for a daddy and started looking for a partner who is also into DD/lg you'll fair better.  you start a relationship out as big then move on to the DD/lg aspect

 

Phony daddies are the ones to call themselves daddy off the bat

also your going to get friend requests by people you don't know the key is have you talked to them though the chat room or on the fourm like this if so then you can consider adding them as a friend

My example wasn't entirely or soley from the website. I've met people who were ddlg and as soon as they found out that I was a little started treating me like they knew me, knew what I liked, what I was into. Basically telling me who I was rather than taking the time to get to know me. 

[lilvioletcub]

My example wasn't entirely or soley from the website. I've met people who were ddlg and as soon as they found out that I was a little started treating me like they knew me, knew what I liked, what I was into. Basically telling me who I was rather than taking the time to get to know me. 

I understand that but you said "finding daddies on here" meaning "on this website" however my advice still stands you want daddies to treat your little side as an individual? let them know big you first. As I said people are not little 24/7 and the best way to meet someone is to know them outside of the DD/lg space first. Ie. I'm a little but that isn't how my boyfriend and I know eachother that is a part of it but our relationship is not build around it.

I don't think even 24/7 littles WHOLE relationship is based soly on them being little and little intreaests only

 

my advice still stands you asked what do we think about this that was my responce

[Clairbear]

I understand that but you said "finding daddies on here" meaning "on this website" however my advice still stands you want daddies to treat your little side as an individual? let them know big you first. As I said people are not little 24/7 and the best way to meet someone is to know them outside of the DD/lg space first. Ie. I'm a little but that isn't how my boyfriend and I know eachother that is a part of it but our relationship is not build around it.

I don't think even 24/7 littles WHOLE relationship is based soly on them being little and little intreaests only

 

my advice still stands you asked what do we think about this that was my responce

I understand and I do do that but like I said before, even when they get to know big me, they start trying to treat me little without even discussing anything first. Without setting boundaries or anything. It's really frustrating. I understand what you mean and I completely understand. 

[lilvioletcub]

I understand and I do do that but like I said before, even when they get to know big me, they start trying to treat me little without even discussing anything first. Without setting boundaries or anything. It's really frustrating. I understand what you mean and I completely understand. 

 

Ah well then they are not proper daddies or boyfriend meterial in my opioion

[Cindersoot]

Thank you!!!!! So infuriating... I wish more people understood this.

[fatlittleferret]

Yes! It's like as soon as they hear the word little they immediately disregard you as an individual person and have an idea in their mind of who you are. 

[F3n1x]

I'm always worried about being that kind of that person. I don't want anyone to be treated less than human.  I always worried that I over step boundaries,  I've only be aware of this community for a couple of months and feel like I have so much to learn to be a proper part of any relationship, be it as a friend or as a daddy, or anything for that matter. For that reason I hope that everyone can find the courage to stand up for themselves and let people know where your line is.  I for one, hope that people can say that I need to back up and listen if I ever over step. Not everyone is the same and life is always going to be about learning. 

[Anjelle]

Yes! It's like as soon as they hear the word little they immediately disregard you as an individual person and have an idea in their mind of who you are.

 

That.

 

Like suddenly, you have a label, and they don't need to know anything else. Apply Disney, receive adoration.

 

Uhhh... Newp.

[Daddy Itzae]

 

We don't all like being called bad names or being spoken down too.

 

 

I have never been able to wrap my mind around the fact that some so-called daddies denigrate and verbally abuse their littles. I mean, as a daddy I see my little as the most precious creature I can give my love to... and verbal humiliation simply goes totally against that.

 

I know there are some littles who like that kind of treatment, but I would dare to affirm said littles are really a tiny minority in this forum, so those Doms choosing to treat all littles as subs/slaves craving humiliation would be better served looking elsewhere.

[celtic1]

Eh... I'm new here but I will still throw up a few flags by throwing in my $0,02.

 

I was a daddy once and look forward to being so again one day. First, you're right, daddy is a title given and earned... not forced upon, or demanded of, you!

 

I was given my title of daddy in a Hot Topic of all places. I had known her (Marissa) for years as she was a long time friend of my younger sister. I had always supported her habits of coloring and crafts whilst others had often ridiculed her for them. I always gave sound advice and offered her and my sister a safe place to crash and a cover story if they did something stupid on a given night. And then one day when having taken her and my sister to tha mall, I told her I would buy her some silly t-shirt and she simply said, "Thank you, Daddy." It was the first time I had ever been called that, by her or anyone else, and I was immediately in love with a then 19 year old woman I had known and protected since she was twelve in the same ways I had my sister. She went from being a part of my family to the love of my life in exactly one second!

 

One thing I have noticed since having discovered DDlg, for Lord knows I knew nothing of the concept eight years ago with Marissa anymore than I did two weeks ago, is that "online dating" seems to really cheapen the dynamic due to most people's desire for instant gratification. Of course the daddies want to hear it as soon as possible, but even the littles I have chatted with just want to throw it out there.

 

Anyway... there you have it... my first reply to a real topic on here. It was what it was.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

No you are not the only one. But it's not just relevant to men pretending to be daddies. Girls are just as bad. Putting on an act to take advantage of men. I've had fake daddies and my daddy has had fake submissives/little girls.

Some people will try get what they want. Some will treat everyone the same. It's not gender, sex or role specific.

[Guest TNDaddy]

Sadly there are males out there you are like this. I believe those like this are in the DDlg for all the wrong reason. I take the term Daddy very seriously and I believe once a little says it is should be taking as sign of respect. I have met littles, also who throw the term daddy around, there are some littles who I believe who are not in DDlg for the right reason as well. That i way of life, there are real people and phoney people. It is up to us as individual to not let those fake littles or daddies in our life. 

[Guest Mr TwitchPool]

How can someone know you or what you like without

 

1. getting to know you

2. you telling them about you.

3. Communication.

 

If anyone jumps straight into trying to tell you to colour in a book or what to read or how to act without doing the above just shouldnt be worth your time.

 

If they are talking down to you or calling you bad names, is this because you are refusing to do as they say or because they think you like it?

 

Again its confusing why anyone would jump straight into assuming they know you just because you are a little.

 

Any real person not just a daddy should know everyone is different and not two people are the same.  Everyone likes and enjoys different things. 

 

DDLG to me is a lifestyle, its how I live, its built into me, the same as being little is ingrained into you, being in touch with that inner child.  

 

Sounds like you are talking to people who are after just the role playing and not the lifestyle. 

 

Maybe adapt all your profiles to say what you like, what youre looking for and to not contact you unless they meet your criteria

[SpinSpinSugar]

Honestly, we could give all the advice in the world and talk about how This is Not a Dating Site (eyeroll) and who to talk to, who not to, how to fill out a profile, or make posts to tell people to Be Excellent to Each Other, but at the end of the day, there are people who lie. End of. It happens. They're good at it, they convince you they actually mean what they say, and make promises they have zero intention of keeping.  It happens, because sometimes that's just how people are. We get burned.  

 

You could shut down the dating area, but it wouldn't make a difference. You can control how everyone posts their intros there to the letter and try to get them involved with the community here. You can warn till you're blue, and have a criteria list as long as your arm.  It will not stop a liar.  That's all there is to it.

 

The only thing you can do - the only thing anyone can do - is decide to take a risk, or not. There are fakes and liars everywhere, in this lifestyle or elsewhere in vanilla or meatspace or what have you (although I think it's easier in this one as the dynamic seems to aim for young people who are a lot more vulnerable and gullible, as that seems to be who many of the Daddies go for). There's no 100% way to guard yourself from it. it's just not possible. At the end of the day, people will be people, no matter how many restrictions or warnings or criteria anyone creates. We just have to learn how to find ways to cope with it...or not, as the case may be. When I finally get monumentally fed up, I just leave. When I get burned, I bow out. There is more to life than even this.

 

May you all find what you seek.

[Princess-P]

SpinSpinSugar is so right. There are liers, fakes, and just all around bad people everywhere. Its part of life. If you can't spot then then you might get sucked in by them, and its not always easy to tell. Some are very good at it. Male or female it doesn't matter, those people just exist.

 

Ya it sucks when things aren't what you thought or expected but life very rarely is. You can't dwel on the bad, sometimes you just have to move on and be glad they showed their true colours.

 

For people expecting to find online relationships here, although its not a dating site there is a personals section and some people are going to come here just for that reason alone, the only thing I can think to say is anyone who tries to get you into a relationship or wants you to call them/wants to call you Daddy/Mommy/any other pet name without getting to know you as a person first isn't someone to get involved with because they obviously aren't interested in who you are. Don't go jumping into things, that's the easiest way to get burned.

[MissChrissy]

My $.02

It is not simply here. It is not simply with Littles Daddies.

The world is full of people who hear a title or, worse, see a "stereotype" and make assumptions. The world is, also and as mentioned by SpinSpinSugar, full of people who lie and attempt to take advantage.

 

We can get as frustrated as we want, rant, rave, and vent, but, in the end, these are the facts. People, wether by ignorance or ill intent, are going to judge. So, if we know this, that knowledge mandates we protect ourselves, almost as if it is our RESPONSIBILTY. Please, do not get your feathers ruffled by that comment. What I mean is, that it is being a responsibile person who, knowing there is a danger, takes prudent precaution.

 

No, it is not "fair", but how many things really are?