Gender fluid middlespace?

[Guest Sweetielynn]

So not only do I have both a littlespace

and a middlespace but I'm finding that I tend to be more gender fluid in middlespace as I explore more. So I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate the boyish middle side as far as clothes and other things that will put me in that headspace. I know there are certain cartoons I like that kind of help.

 

I guess I was curious if other people experience this?

[lunabearr]

So I feel this personally.

 

I have both an undefined age little side, as well as a more bratty middle. As a whole, I am AFAB non-binary, but I definitely fluctuate between feelings of both femininity, androgyny, and masculinity when I am a middle. At the end of the day, I still go by she/they pronouns and certain pet names and terms bother me, but my middle is far more exploratory when it comes to my own gender identity. And to be honest, I have a feeling this stems from the fact I was not able to openly do so when I was that age in real life.

 

To help with this, as an anime lover, I will most definitely watch more shōnen shows, or media geared towards boys. I still wear makeup but I’ll add my faux piercings since my middle is definitely not the rule-following type that my little and big are xD that headspace is very much a bratty teen, and I go with the flow and how I feel when I’m in that space.

 

My best advice would be to maybe journal*, and experiment with shows and activities that make you feel the most comfortable in that genderfluid space that your middle brings out ♡ and always remember that you are completely valid in your identity.

 

*For journaling, I don’t remember what this technique is called, but I found that its helped immensely! I have a dedicated journal for certain things but use whatever works best for you. As Big You, write down a question that you have for Little/Middle You. It can be anything, especially if you’re trying to connect and get to know them more. And then, ANSWER the question as Little/Middle You.

 

I hope this helps brings some light & clarity to your situation ♡ if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I’d be happy to help ^u^

[Guest Sweetielynn]

So I feel this personally.

I have both an undefined age little side, as well as a more bratty middle. As a whole, I am AFAB non-binary, but I definitely fluctuate between feelings of both femininity, androgyny, and masculinity when I am a middle. At the end of the day, I still go by she/they pronouns and certain pet names and terms bother me, but my middle is far more exploratory when it comes to my own gender identity. And to be honest, I have a feeling this stems from the fact I was not able to openly do so when I was that age in real life.

To help with this, as an anime lover, I will most definitely watch more shōnen shows, or media geared towards boys. I still wear makeup but I’ll add my faux piercings since my middle is definitely not the rule-following type that my little and big are xD that headspace is very much a bratty teen, and I go with the flow and how I feel when I’m in that space.

My best advice would be to maybe journal*, and experiment with shows and activities that make you feel the most comfortable in that genderfluid space that your middle brings out ♡ and always remember that you are completely valid in your identity.

*For journaling, I don’t remember what this technique is called, but I found that its helped immensely! I have a dedicated journal for certain things but use whatever works best for you. As Big You, write down a question that you have for Little/Middle You. It can be anything, especially if you’re trying to connect and get to know them more. And then, ANSWER the question as Little/Middle You.

I hope this helps brings some light & clarity to your situation ♡ if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I’d be happy to help ^u^

Thank you so much! I like the journaling idea, and I at times have as big me written to my little side so this would be similar. Cool!

[Satan]

So as a kiddo I didn't realize there were gender norms. I just played with what I liked. I didn't know there were "boy toys" or "girl toys". Same with clothing.

So my little space is kind of all over the place.

 

It wasn't till I got older I found it about gender. It's super cool and interesting that gender fluidity can be involved in little space/ middlespace.

[lunabearr]

Thank you so much! I like the journaling idea, and I at times have as big me written to my little side so this would be similar. Cool!

You are most welcome! ♡

[DaddysMonkey]

…. *waves*

 

What’s crackin’ ?

 

Major tomboy here , reporting for duty.

 

So I really fuckin hate labels , but I feel as though I tip toe around this category with who I am as a person and my clothing aesthetic. I’d consider myself a little bit of a bender. I grew up around 90% males and very easily fit in , and things that were considered more masculine always interested me and made me feel strong and powerful. As shitty as my parents were , something they excelled at was letting me experiment with who I was and how I looked.

 

So that’s what I would suggest doing , experiment ALOT. With hair , with clothes , things that can be considered neutral even could be fun to play either side of feminine or masculine with personal touches.

 

- Hair. I mean I buzz my fuckin head all the time and I love it but I also understand that it’s terrifying to a lot of people. You could gradually try shorter and shorter hair , pixie style cuts that can be worn in both feminine and masculine ways. I’ve got a couple fades that could be worn messy and boyish and laid more flat looked much more ladylike.

 

- Make up. Even when I’m feeling boyish I’ll do my eyebrows. I’ll make them super bushy and boyish and just cover up a red dot here or there on my face. You’d be surprised how cute bushy eyebrows can make you feel , everyone wears make up so who fuckin cares amirite?

 

- Clothing. I feel like fashion is often seen as something that’s more of a “chick thing” , but I look to a lot of 90’s male street style for the type of clothing I wear. Even more modern street / youthful wear is kinda my jam. I hate suggesting looking at my photos , but I’ve posted several feminine photos and more boyish photos. I’ve even had customers think I was a different person based on feminine vs masculine aesthetics.

 

Some bender basics I personally live by and wear once a week :

- OVERALLS ! I cannot stress this enough. They can be girly OR boyish depending on how you style them.

- Biker shorts. I usually get the Vans brand ones , but that’s just preference for skater aesthetics. Wearing biker shorts with some vans and tube socks and a big baggy sweater ? *chefs kiss* Extra points for anime shirts instead of a sweater.

- Baggy skater jeans with a shoelace for your belt. More boyish , wear with some baggy anime shirts (or whatever band tee you like) more girly , wear a crop top with a cool design.

- Matching sweatsuit outfits. Again this is preference , but I usually find mine on sale at Zumies. They have tons of really feminine sets , and more masculine sets.

 

- Activities. I’m an avid roller blader. Anything you can get cuts and bruises , eat shit jumping off a curb I’m pretty down for. MUD AND DIRT ! Get in the garden if you have one , get messy ! Video games and anime are also some of my biggest go tos. I’ve broken many controllers raging on some fusion frenzy as a kid.

 

I genuinely really like this topic because I love fluidity and bending the norm , and just straight up bucking labels out the window for myself. I almost find it hard coming up with ideas because I hear myself asking , “Well why is this more boyish and this is more girly ? Why does this piece of clothing make me feel this way and the other doesn’t , just because it’s labeled a certain way ? Why does this activity suggest make me pause and say wait , this is all on a spectrum is it not?”

 

Ah , well.. I’ve rambled now. Deuces !

Edited April 4, 2022 by DaddysMonkey

[Guest Sweetielynn]

…. *waves*

What’s crackin’ ?

Major tomboy here , reporting for duty.

So I really fuckin hate labels , but I feel as though I tip toe around this category with who I am as a person and my clothing aesthetic. I’d consider myself a little bit of a bender. I grew up around 90% males and very easily fit in , and things that were considered more masculine always interested me and made me feel strong and powerful. As shitty as my parents were , something they excelled at was letting me experiment with who I was and how I looked.

So that’s what I would suggest doing , experiment ALOT. With hair , with clothes , things that can be considered neutral even could be fun to play either side of feminine or masculine with personal touches.

- Hair. I mean I buzz my fuckin head all the time and I love it but I also understand that it’s terrifying to a lot of people. You could gradually try shorter and shorter hair , pixie style cuts that can be worn in both feminine and masculine ways. I’ve got a couple fades that could be worn messy and boyish and laid more flat looked much more ladylike.

- Make up. Even when I’m feeling boyish I’ll do my eyebrows. I’ll make them super bushy and boyish and just cover up a red dot here or there on my face. You’d be surprised how cute bushy eyebrows can make you feel , everyone wears make up so who fuckin cares amirite?

- Clothing. I feel like fashion is often seen as something that’s more of a “chick thing” , but I look to a lot of 90’s male street style for the type of clothing I wear. Even more modern street / youthful wear is kinda my jam. I hate suggesting looking at my photos , but I’ve posted several feminine photos and more boyish photos. I’ve even had customers think I was a different person based on feminine vs masculine aesthetics.

Some bender basics I personally live by and wear once a week :

- OVERALLS ! I cannot stress this enough. They can be girly OR boyish depending on how you style them.

- Biker shorts. I usually get the Vans brand ones , but that’s just preference for skater aesthetics. Wearing biker shorts with some vans and tube socks and a big baggy sweater ? *chefs kiss* Extra points for anime shirts instead of a sweater.

- Baggy skater jeans with a shoelace for your belt. More boyish , wear with some baggy anime shirts (or whatever band tee you like) more girly , wear a crop top with a cool design.

- Matching sweatsuit outfits. Again this is preference , but I usually find mine on sale at Zumies. They have tons of really feminine sets , and more masculine sets.

- Activities. I’m an avid roller blader. Anything you can get cuts and bruises , eat shit jumping off a curb I’m pretty down for. MUD AND DIRT ! Get in the garden if you have one , get messy ! Video games and anime are also some of my biggest go tos. I’ve broken many controllers raging on some fusion frenzy as a kid.

I genuinely really like this topic because I love fluidity and bending the norm , and just straight up bucking labels out the window for myself. I almost find it hard coming up with ideas because I hear myself asking , “Well why is this more boyish and this is more girly ? Why does this piece of clothing make me feel this way and the other doesn’t , just because it’s labeled a certain way ? Why does this activity suggest make me pause and say wait , this is all on a spectrum is it not?”

Ah , well.. I’ve rambled now. Deuces !

Thank you for your in depth answer. I appreciate the suggestions.

I think it's kind of freeing in a sense to have this flexibility/fluidity and find different expressions of self. We are more multifaceted than we realize sometimes.

[Faerin]

Idk what I fully identify as in general, but I know that in little/middle space, my gender identity and presentation fluctuates a LOT more than normal. I don't always act upon it or really pay much attention to it but it's so interesting. Edited April 20, 2022 by Faerin

[Little kaiya]

Being genderfluid myself, i don't find that changes in my littlespace. My gender just is what it is at any given moment.