Any other littles have an issue with growing up/aging?

[-Baby-]

So, Im new here and I tried to figure out a place to put this, but none seemed like exactly the right fit, hope this is fine.

 

Anywho, I was curious if this is something anyone in this community deals with, I struggle with growing up, it hurts to think about. My 18th birthday was the hardest. I don't want to get older, I don't like the thought that I will never be an actual child again. Now I understand that this is not normal thinking, and I cannot pinpoint exactly why I'm having these feelings, I'd imagine it's due to childhood trauma but regardless it doesn't feel quite normal. I have felt this way for years, although I do keep my adult day-to-day life, it still plagues me, little space is hard to enjoy sometimes because I realize that I am 'faking' it. Its actually quite embarrassing to talk about it, but even being told things like, "oh you're so mature!" Or "Oh you look older than your age!" upsets me. 

I'm currently seeing a guy and wonder if this side of me is something I should open up about, the little side. I worry that this whole issue will interfere with that though, as I've said little space is becoming hard to slip into. I understand that this is probably above everyone here's pay grade, as far as advice goes, but I'm just curious if there's anyone else out there who has felt this way, to this extent. Is there anything I should be doing, besides seeing a therapist? 

[-Baby-]

Oh also, I'm sorry if this isn't easy to read/comprehend. It's late here and I don't exactly know how I should word things. Sorry again! 

[Guest deerdan]

Peter Pan syndrome isn't an officially recognised disorder, but it essentially relates to people who have a hard time maturing and taking on the responsibilities of an adult as they would rather live as a child.

 

Gerascophobia is a fear of aging or growing up and it can relate to physical changes (wrinkles, hair loss, graying, etc.), or decreasing health. It can also be connected to fear of death (thanatophobia).

 

I don't know if either of these describe how you personally experience your anxiety regarding aging, but I just wanted to bring up these terms in case you wanted to read up on it, and maybe hear other people's experiences who feel similarly to you, so it might help you realise that you're not alone with these thoughts.

[DaisyPop]

I can relate!! I'm approaching my 28th birthday, but what I've found as I've gotten older and maneuvered through my twenties, is that time is truly relative and one only ages as much as you really let yourself. I still have little time regularly, my plushies stand proudly surrounding me and supporting me, I still wear my piggy tails, hair clips and bows, glitter, stickers and overall-dresses, and none of my friends or family who love me for who I am judge me for these things. I feel like society is catching up with this mentality, as most millennial are learning to enjoy whatever their interests are into adulthood regardless. Life is too short and too miserable to waste time being upset and living for other people. Do what makes you happy! 

[Little kaiya]

I'm 43 and never really struggled with growing up because I also have my little space, previously more with my Wife and now more with my Daddy.

 

I was always very mature for my age so that was just natural for me. I don't view my little side as faking anything, it's just another part of who I am and as valid as any other part.

 

If I find myself struggling to get into littlespace I crawl into my Daddy's lap, listen to his heartbeat and suck on His thumb and Presto! Instant, natural littlespace.

[Keiry]

For me, being a little is part of who I am, and I don't hide it from anyone, therefore, if you asked anyone who knew me, they would tell you that I often act like a kid.

 

However, when the situation requires it, I am a very mature person (or so I try) and I try to be responsible.

 

I think that part of growing up is knowing how to act depending on the situation.

[Guest idk10]

"Oh you look older than your age!" 

If anyone says that to you slap em! After the age of 6 that stops being a compliment. I'd just take it as them saying i look old and no body wants to hear that. 

[-Baby-]

I can relate!! I'm approaching my 28th birthday, but what I've found as I've gotten older and maneuvered through my twenties, is that time is truly relative and one only ages as much as you really let yourself. I still have little time regularly, my plushies stand proudly surrounding me and supporting me, I still wear my piggy tails, hair clips and bows, glitter, stickers and overall-dresses, and none of my friends or family who love me for who I am judge me for these things. I feel like society is catching up with this mentality, as most millennial are learning to enjoy whatever their interests are into adulthood regardless. Life is too short and too miserable to waste time being upset and living for other people. Do what makes you happy! 

Im glad to know someone else can relate! What you said is very helpful, thanks. 

[-Baby-]

"Oh you look older than your age!" 

If anyone says that to you slap em! After the age of 6 that stops being a compliment. I'd just take it as them saying i look old and no body wants to hear that. 

 

Honestly, I agree. Especially now that I'm an adult its just like wtf, I try to just brush it off but I guess I'm gonna age horribly lol

[StrawberryDoll]

Yes. I spent years wanting to grow old to escape my abusive mother and now I am 22 and still with her I realize that my childhood is gone and now I am a young woman trapped in abusive family relationships and with no actual friends. I am afraid I will start to grow old and spend my youth in an unhappy life because I still cannot escape from my home.

 

I'm also afraid of getting old in general and of death. I don't want to disappear and cease to exist some day in the future. It terrifies me.

[-Baby-]

Yes. I spent years wanting to grow old to escape my abusive mother and now I am 22 and still with her I realize that my childhood is gone and now I am a young woman trapped in abusive family relationships and with no actual friends. I am afraid I will start to grow old and spend my youth in an unhappy life because I still cannot escape from my home.

 

I'm also afraid of getting old in general and of death. I don't want to disappear and cease to exist some day in the future. It terrifies me.

 

 

We are quite alike, only difference being I don't have a fear of death. If you ever need to vent to a stranger, I'll listen . 

[DaisyPop]

Yes. I spent years wanting to grow old to escape my abusive mother and now I am 22 and still with her I realize that my childhood is gone and now I am a young woman trapped in abusive family relationships and with no actual friends. I am afraid I will start to grow old and spend my youth in an unhappy life because I still cannot escape from my home.

 

I'm also afraid of getting old in general and of death. I don't want to disappear and cease to exist some day in the future. It terrifies me.

 

Hey, I can relate to this so much, and I'm still living with my mother to this day. Abusive parents can cause enmeshment, parentification, and CPTSD, all issues I struggle with every day, but the first step is identifying the problem. Extracting yourself from that kind of swamp is extremely difficult, but you have already taken the biggest step by realizing what is going on, and reaching out to others. Little space is not only a wonderful coping mechanism for me, but I've been trying to utilize it to reach out to communities like this one, where one can find similar people.