New and maybe crazy

[CuriousRed89]

Hey. So I'm probably going to sound like a complete idiot so try not to be to mean. Lol. How or when did you know this lifestyle/ relationship was the kind you wanted or needed?

I have been with my husband for almost 13 years. It hasn't been the best relationship and seems to get worse every year. It's never really been fulfilling and always seemed to lack something. But then 2 years ago I "met" a guy on FB and we started talking and grew a friendship and he showed me this whole other world and it all kind of makes sense. We haven't met to try anything in person since right now I'm still married but I'm really thinking this is what's missing from my life. Am I completely crazy? Probably. I guess I'm just hoping I'm not the only crazy person out there.

Thanks for listening to be ramble. Any advice or pointers would be great. I'm excited to learn more about myself on this crazy journey.

[DaddyDom3238]

Hello, 

No you do not sound like a complete idiot at all, I have been in the lifestyle for over a decade and I have met many little/subs that have had that same question and all I can say is that you should not overthink it. You should follow what feels right for you and follow what is fulfilling for you. I say that carefully as you seem to have not experienced this lifestyle IRL? You do not want to confuse your lack of fulfillment in your current marriage/relationship with wanting this lifestyle, until you can come to terms with your current vanilla relationship I do not feel you should jump into the DDLG/BDSM lifestyle. 

Talking about the lifestyle with someone that is involved in it while not have a good relationship with your husband can add to confusion and you could have a false sense of what you want and or need. 

I am by no means discouraging you from pursuing this lifestlyle, rather I am saying like any life change you should be certain that you are not going towards it because of insecurities or issues in your current relationship. I love this lifestyle and the relationhips that I have had in it. 

I don't know if this helps and I wish you the best!

 

Tyler

[CuriousRed89]

Thanks. Well one of my problems is I think then over think then think some more. Lol. But I agree thinking something and actually being involved are completely different. I'm extremely shy so I definitely don't jump into anything. I was young and just did what I thought was what you were supposed to do when I got married. But you live and learn.

[Vampiress]

No you're not crazy! People come to this lifestyle at all different ages and in different stages of life and for a variety of reasons, some just like you! Some people know right away when they're 18 and some others take time to come to the realization this is what they needed all along. Some stay in it long-term, and for some this is only a period of their lives they move on from eventually. Whatever your reason and whatever happens it's completely valid!