Henlo, iss me. Help, please (trouble initiating conversations)

[Wildflo]

[Alaskan Daddy]

hi

I think most of us can relate to the feelings you are having. I hung up ten times on the very first girl I asked on a date before I had the courage to actually talk and ask her out. Yes it is shyness and a little bit of feeling self conscious about yourself. 

What got me out of the shyness was to ask lots of questions to learn more about my date. Let him know you are interested in who he is as a person and don't be afraid to let him know who you are. Remember he is probably just as nervous as you are. 

Good Luck with your date and let us know how everything goes.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Aw, that's so adorable. Yeah, it could be a combo of shyness or social anxiety or just the first date jitters. I think it's totally normal to be nervous on a first date even if you're someone who has all the confidence in the world. It's mostly just the anticipation that can get to you. I think it's normal to be nervous the more emotionally invested you get in someone before things feel more secure with that person too. It depends how close you get. Getting closer to someone usually makes you feel more secure. But it's normal to feel scared of pushing others away if you experienced someone doing that to you unfairly in the past too, after you initiated things. So that might be what's going on there, and worth looking into. It usually takes a more consistent/loyal person to sort of break down those barriers.

 

But don't worry, you got this. You're still that courageous person who initiated things. I think it'll go great, and if not, then it will be a great learning experience. And yeah, I can relate cuz I'm shy and to the overthinking as I was the one who initiated things between my Daddy and I, even though I felt the feeling was mutual and it wasn't much of a risk to state the elephant in the room. And I was nervous/shy as hell on our first date too, but he just found it endearing/attractive. I doubt you'll screw it up. If you could, then he's not the right person for you, in my opinion. Simple as that.

 

Have fun!

Edited December 9, 2021 by Teasing Tink

[Terable]

It's nothing weird at all! I get that way too sometimes. Just take it at your own pace and hopefully things go well! I wish you the best of luck~

[Wildflo]

Oh my Gosh, guyss... Thank you so much, this is so so helpful and uplifting!! I freaking love this community

 

Your advices are wonderful. It's going to be so much easier when I simply focus on him and his feelings instead of my fear. Also those anecdotes from your experiences soothed me a lot c:

 

And I also loved the "if it goes wrong, at least it will be a great learning experience". Like, it won't be the end of the world. If I'm gonna notice some of my wrongdoings, I simply won't repeat that in the future. I'm not set in stone, right? c: I loved this especially because it made me look at my past with a bit softer attitude than before.

 

I got this after learning so much I feel like that dude from anime whose eyes are invisible as he corrects his glasses. I have the strategy now!

 

Omggg, I can't wait to see him!! And I'm gonna do my best to look pretty for him. I already had chosen an outfit and makeup a few days ago

 

This situation is so funny, because it gets hard to talk to him yet at the same time I just keep blabbing about him everywhere to literally everyone I know hahah. He seems so chill, soft and kind tho...

 

I dunno in which direction it's gonna go from there but so far it's really good and I'm glad I had an opportunity to meet him in my life!

 

Thank you again, guys... You made my day :> Afterwards I'm gonna tell you how it went!!

Edited December 9, 2021 by Wildflo

[Pookee]

Hiii guys I have trouble reaching out to people I care about.

 

It happens with my friends and also romantic interests. The more emotionally invested I get, the harder it becomes to start a convo.

 

 

I don't wanna screw this up. Please, send help... Can you relate? Is it just shyness? Is it normal?

 

I'm sorry for this rant but thank you if you've read all that >.<

 

Yeah, you're jittering! XD I get like that too, sometimes, especially since I'm the weird type and don't want to 'weird' them out. calm down, level yourself and tell them when you see them that you're kinda nervous. it'll be okay.

 

Hope your date's good!