New dom need advice

[Littleschohn420]

So I just got into this new relationship with this sub an I'm new at being a Dom I need some advice on what to do for discipline but I can't do spankings because she enjoys that an I can't take her stuff away because she will get depressed stuff I think of she enjoys so what's something I can do I only know I can do lines with her an timeout what else could I do

[Totoro83]

Chores, early bedtime, no TV or video games, no sex... There are plenty of ways to punish without spanking or other forms of physical punishment. You need to try and find out what works best in your relationship. And most importantly talk about it with her and find a solution she agrees to.

[maddycakes]

Communication is key here! Your sub is the best person to ask about this because she knows herself the best. She will be able to tell you what punishments are off-limits, which ones will be too much like a reward, and which ones will be useful for her. 

[Littleschohn420]

My thing is she wants me to talk with other Dom's about it she would like me to find a mentor too to teach me

[LittlePupRune]

My thing is she wants me to talk with other Dom's about it she would like me to find a mentor too to teach me

 

Mentors can be tricky. You need to be specific in what you are wanting to learn, because being vague just puts so much pressure on the person. Plus mentors take vetting to make sure they actually have your best interest in mind and that you mesh well together. You can ask advice for specific situations and what other people have done and get ideas from that but at the end of the day nothing is a substitute for the two of you talking to each other and learning what the other wants, is curious to try, and is not ok doing. Not all cg/l relationships look the same so you can't just copy-paste what other's do, though you can take inspiration from it. My previous little did ask me to find a mentor but I never did find a person to do that for me, but I did take the initiative to go to classes, discussions, talk to a lot of other kink folk, and just learn in general. 

[Littleschohn420]

I've been trying to learn something's on my own but not sure what are good websites an stuff like that to get involved with

[LittlePupRune]

I've been trying to learn something's on my own but not sure what are good websites an stuff like that to get involved with

 

If possible I highly recommend going to your local events. Learning in-person from people can be very helpful, and it allows you to make a variety of friends and see different ways people do D/s.