Advice Needed (Please Read Me, I Need Help)

[Guest LittleFireflies]

I'm currently in a break with my daddy for almost 2 months now. We've been together for quite a long time. Everything was great until one day he suddenly disappeared for more than a week without saying anything beforehand. But then when he finally texted me, he told me he wants a break, saying that he's "not in the perfect circumstances for having a relationship".

 

Long story short, I agreed for taking the break. He said that we won't cut off our communication completely, but there would be some days where he can't text me. I thought, "Okay, that's fine for me." And then recently, I found out that he's still active on his social media. I don't have a problem with that, unless he does that when he haven't texted me for days. I feel disappointed and angry with the fact that he chose to do that instead of trying to talk to me or just simply asking me how's my day going. He always make me waiting for days to finally able to talk to him, saying that he doesn't have enough time.

 

I don't know what to do anymore about this. I've tried many, many times to communicate this issue with him, but he always ended up saying that I always started an argument. I'm also aware with all the red flags here, but I'm so scared to end everything with him. I've become too dependent on him and I just can't imagine him disappeared from my life.

 

So yeah, I'd like to know what do you guys think about this? Is this issue can be solved or not? And if this has happened to you, what did you do to go through it? How do you cope with the heartbreak once everything comes to an end?

[Guest KinderCanuck]

Given you said in your first paragraph that you've been together for a long time, there is clearly a lot more going on than you've been able to describe so I can only comment on the events you specifically mentioned.

 

Not only is he disregarding your needs but he he's misrepresenting what's going on and what he's doing. Worse yet, he's gaslighting you by saying you are causing an argument when you're trying to resolve a problem.

 

Your last question is whether or not it can be resolved. The answer to that is only if BOTH of you work at it together. You can't fix this on your own I'm afraid.

 

You deserve much better treatment than this and I'm sorry you're going through it

[Little kaiya]

Becoming so dependent on someone that you are scared to break off an unhealthy relationship is a big issue. It suggests the relationship has gone from healthy to pathological co-dependence.

 

Relationship issues can only be solved if everyone involved makes an effort and from you've described it doesn't sound like your partner wants to make that effort.

 

Heartbreak is part of life whether it relates to relationships, promotions, opportunities or other things. The only way to really deal is accept your emotions, validate what you're feeling is ok and take the time to heal.

[DaddyDom3238]

I would like to say first off that I am very sorry that you are going through this, it truly sounds like he is not willing to work on whatever issues are happening. Moreover, the fact that he is not communicating and doesn't seem to care to communicate is extremely disrespectful to you and without mutual respect you do not have a relationship. Additionally, you should never stay in a relationship out of rear of being alone, it will only get worse if you do that because you will be taken advantage of. 

I know how this feels as I had a little/sub that I cared for deeply that did the same thing to me. I am very sorry you are hurting but please have enough respect for yourself and for how special you are individually to move on from someone that is not showing you respect as hard as that might be. 

 

Tyler

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Did you both put a time limit on the break or is it just for an indefinite amount of time? I think if a break goes on for longer than a month, it's generally not a good sign. The whole purpose of a break is to give each other more space before coming together again, yes? But in this situation, it sounds more like it's being used as a way to prolong or put off off an inevitable breakup. I think if this continues, he'll wind up feeling more smothered and you more resentful, because it sounds like you both want different things. He's made it clear that he's not ready for a committed relationship, whereas you feel like you are. In my opinion, when someone is crazy about you, it doesn't matter if the circumstances aren't ideal, because shit always comes up in life and is rarely perfect. If it's an insecurity issue on his part, then that's something he'll need to work on himself. I assume you both discussed the details of all that, so I can't really comment on it. This is just my opinion based only on what you shared, so take it for what it is.

 

And yeah, I kind of did something like this in the past or thought about it for a brief period of time, but I'm not someone who does well with a lack of closure or the feeling of being stuck in limbo, so I basically do whatever I can to gauge what the person's feelings are for me, so I can decide whether to stay or leave. So, that's what I did and it was very clear to me that his heart wasn't in it, and that's not something I want to be in. However, it's very hard to leave a relationship where you have a lot of history with the person, because you've invested so much of your time and energy into it, that it can often feel like it was all for nothing. However, when things stagnate in a relationship like this, it prevents you both from growing and moving on to new and better things. It's hard, but there's usually something more beautiful waiting for you on the other side of letting go of whatever you're afraid of letting go of. You usually just wind up relying on friends and/or family for support during a breakup. Then the only way out is through. You will have to take the time to grieve and process things, but it will be okay. The heart is stronger than you realize. And you think you're so dependent on him, but he's not super available to you, so maybe you're not as dependent on him as you think. 

[Vampiress]

I'm sorry you're going through this, but don't torture yourself by waiting on this guy who has no courtesy or even a thought for you and your feelings. The disrespect he is showing you now is showing you who he is and how he feels about you now. When people do this I just assume they want the other person to break it off because for some reason they don't have the back bone to do it themselves. Maybe they delude themselves in thinking they they're not the bad guy if they aren't the one that broke things off.