Can you be in a vanilla relationship?

[Willa14]

I’m curious what others thoughts are on this. Do you think it’s possible to explore your little self (or Daddy self) on your own time and terms, while remaining satisfied with a vanilla partner? Can a vanilla partner truly love you, if they don’t love this? No harsh words please… I’m a sensitive middle who has had a hard day.

[(not) Narancia]

Short answer? Yes. I like ddlg but I would have no problem being in vanilla relationships for the rest of my life. Plenty of people like myself would have no issue going either way.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Yes, I think someone can be satisfied on their own if they have no desire to explore that side of themselves with a partner(s). There are plenty of single people who do just that. No one needs a partner to be "little"/middle/etc. It really just depends on what the people in question want. I personally know I wouldn't be satisfied in a vanilla relationship, but that's just me and everyone is different.

 

Sometimes people want different things or have different goals in life and ultimately determine that they're incompatible later on. It doesn't mean you love the person any less or they love you any less if you decide to break things off. It's more so about self-love and not suppressing one's own desires if they are a deal breaker or important enough to the person. While for others, they may think it would be nice to have, but they could take it or leave it. It's not a top priority or something they deeply yearn to share with another. It's about compatibility. What works for people and what doesn't. Sadly, just loving someone often isn't enough to make things work. You're more likely to have success with people who align with your top values and who share the same visions and goals than those who don't.

 

I hope that makes sense and answers your question.

Edited October 21, 2021 by Teasing Tink

[Vampiress]

Sure I could. It wouldn't be my preference, but if I cared enough about someone they wouldn't have to engage in this part of my life. It'd be fine as long as they don't ridicule or shame me for it. I don't think someone HAS to be into CG/l to truly love a partner who is a little/middle/Caregiver. A person doesn't have to like or engage in everything their partner likes to actually love them, sometimes the differences make things interesting.

[Little kaiya]

I absolutely think partners can love one another without loving every single aspect of their partner. Could I be with a partner who didn't accept this part of me, no, I personally would be unhappy. Could I be with a partner who accepted this side of me but didn't participate m, again no, I know I'd personally be unhappy.

 

A huge part of this for me is the bonding with my Daddy. For me, isn't about activities like colouring, tea parties or watching cartoons. It's the deep emotional bond that comes from a combination of vulnerability and unconditional love.

 

So, can people explore their little side on their own, absolutely, and for some that will be satisfying and for others it won't, depends on the person.

[Guest LittleElizabethBun]

...redacted... Edited November 19, 2021 by LittleElizabethBun

[Guest peach.doll]

I'm attempting to come out of lurking to comment, but I think I agree with Vampiress, however I'd be reluctant to share this aspect of my life with someone who isn't involved in CG/L. 

 

I have been in one vanilla relationship, and two CG/L relationships. Admittedly the CG/L relationships have been healthier and have lasted longer, but I think that could be due to my bias towards CG/L relationships, and that I absolutely prefer being in one as being a little is a core piece of who I am. The vanilla partner I was with was aware of CG/L, and they liked being called 'daddy,' but they didn't actually desire anything further than being called 'daddy'. They found most of the CG/L dynamic to be 'cringeworthy' and 'disgusting' (in their words) so I am incredibly reluctant to share with anyone that I'm a little, unless I met them through a CG/L related space. 

 

 

In essence, I think I'm personally far happier within a CG/L dynamic, but if I was in a vanilla relationship they would have to be aware of -and comfortable with- me being a little as it isn't something I think I could hide and/or suppress.

 

I've just asked my partner out of curiosity, and he also agrees that whilst he could be in a vanilla relationship, he wouldn't be as happy in the long term since he feels his caregiver nature so strongly.