Empty conversation.

[DaddysMonkey]

…… Hi. *waves*

 

I am sleep deprived and full of coffee , this might get a little sporadic but try to stay with me here.

 

I’m the type of person that enjoys an actual conversation. Sure , shooting the shit and telling jokes … simple “how’ve you been?” Is nice as well.. but I get very bored of small talk and meaningless conversations very quickly. One word answers , couple sentences replies and there’s no ping pong. I usually end up carrying the conversation, get tired of being the only one putting in effort and then I’ll just drop off and not speak anymore. A week or two later , the person will complain or act afraid that I’m angry or don’t want to be their friend… which gives me whiplash. Bro , if you wanted to be my friend you would check on me too. I wouldn’t be starting all the conversations, and keeping them going when you only give a couple sentence reply and never initiate contact.

 

I’ve noticed this with tons of people , wanting to have a strong connection with someone but are unwilling or too lazy and self serving to put in their side of the work and effort to be a friend back to others or even a partner. There’s always givers and takers , and it seems like takers are much more prevalent in this lifestyle.

 

Do you get tired of conversations that people don’t put the same energy into ?

 

Are you offended , or sensitive to feeling like you’re the only one talking and starting conversations?

 

Are you the type of person to stick around and keep trying , or do you just leave and not want to be something to play with when someone is bored ?

 

Why do you believe that most people aren’t as graceful with conversations these days , or are too lazy / bored to put on effort to another person.. especially if they wanted to be YOUR friend and not the other way around ?

 

In this lifestyle community , it saddens me but it’s rare to find really good conversations anymore. A lot of it ends up in someone talking about other people in terrible ways or talking about meaningless drama …. Or complaining about things incessantly and leave absolutely no room for a good chat.

 

I try my best to get interesting debates or conversation topics going for people to participate in as a big group , to really get peoples brains going and possibly make new friends through shared opinions and morals. It’s easier for me to mass post topics like this especially because I work a lot of overtime on top of my side job , everyone gets to participate and I don’t feel as though I’m ignoring everyone because I get so distracted with work my messages can sit stale sometimes.

 

I truly think the community as a whole can benefit from some great debates and conversations between each other , even if it’s not anything serious.. I still pick my nose guys I know how to have fun alright ? It’s just something that’s really been bugging me I suppose , everyone says they are so lonely all the time but make no effort in talking to each other. It’s not like we all have to be best friends but we can at least make each other work our brains out and learn new things.

 

Okay , that’s enough coffee rambles. See you later losers.

Edited October 13, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[Josei]

I agree.

 

Conversations can be so short and simple. At this point I'm tired of trying to "force" conversations. I know some people don't like to type (tbh I'm one of those) but I feed off of the energy that is given to me and if it's a good conversation I forget all about my hang ups.

 

In a digital world we can learn so much from each other and make such good friends. I feel like it's wasted potential.

[Guest Hero_Yuri]

yes to the unwilling people, I am meh to the energy part, and not offended ever and always easy to notice since I carry the conversation usually.

I leave if they put in 0 to no effort over time; which is easy since they stop replying back eventually. Still glad I got to chat with them though, no complaints on my side; sure they have there reasons and I always wish them the best ans hope they find someone they bond with. I am not gonna constantly keep trying to make a effort in chatting with someone though if they just ghost me or leave me hanging. All that gets me is either a insult, some form of a insult through drama or a threat; yes that happened.

I actually never encountered that what you said, the one where they always talk bad about someone, but I do encounter the drama thing; nearly always.

idk about the debate part super monkey. I agree it would be good, but also with how insane, fragile, and how pissed people are these days over any little thing (even me writing this part right here probably already pissed someone off) that you dare think differently or even tell a joke, even when avoiding politics, nah. These days people wanna end you for nearly anything and think it is totally fine and not crazy.

[(not) Narancia]

I personally am just not really able to hold meaningful conversations for extended amounts of time through text. It literally gets frustrating to me because I'm really physical and rely on intonation when I talk, especially when it's about something fun or exciting.

 

More often than not, conversations over text will fizzle out for me, unless im talking somewhere I can either send voice messages or just call.

 

I do understand that can be frustrating for those who can have more detailed and longer conversations over an extended amount of time.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I see it in terms of compatibility/difference in values. Some people don't connect well through conversation and tend to bond more so through doing activities together. People who have really active minds (enjoy thinking about things) or who have an intellectual bent, tend to crave that deeper conversation though. Others just prefer to swim on the surface and that's as far as they'll go. So I don't see it as strictly laziness but about desire and/or skill. People don't generally struggle to do the things they enjoy, right? 

 

So I say to each their own, but since I'm someone who has an active mind and craves engaging conversation with depth, I know I'm most compatible with this type of person. Of course it's about more than just that, but that's an important aspect in my eyes. That being said, all of my significant relationships and friendships, past and present, have all been with people who also had active minds and were as long-winded as I am. 

 

There was a point when I was a teen and unaware that people who are similar to myself exist, and wound up in unfulfilling/one-sided friendships and relationships because of it. But after meeting people who were compatible, it was like I couldn't ever settle or go back to any less because I tasted what fulfillment felt like in that regard, and I knew after that, it was something I *need* in a friendship and a relationship. 

 

For those who that sort of thing doesn't come naturally to, they could try their hardest and you'll get maybe a C or B effort out of them. But my reasoning is: why would you settle for that when you can have someone who is capable of giving an A effort in something you value you highly? So people who don't match my energy? For me, it's a hard pass. I believe in investing in those who invest in you. It's not even sustainable if the convo is one-sided, because at some point it will die if you don't keep reviving it. I say let it die or don't engage to begin with. Life is too short for boring conversations. And honestly, what's the point if there's no spark or chemistry with the person? Maybe that sounds cold, but I see it as a kindness, because I know there are people they are more compatible with than me too, and I'm holding them back if I engage them.

[Ancientad1992]

I feel exactly the same and I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm not asking for much to have a conversation with someone where I'm not the only one asking questions or bringing up topics for discussion.

 

I've mentioned this to a few littles that I've talked to and some are genuinely shy or don't know what to say but others actually lack any effort whatsoever and that is a real pet peeve of mine.

[MintieSweetie]

Just popping my 2 cents in, a lot of littles (from my perspective) have mental health and other issues going on in life and it can sometimes cause them to either withdraw from socialization or simply make them too busy to keep up with conversations. Ofc every situation is different and there are ofc times when people just "cant be bothered" to respond, and that's a shame, but honestly, do you want a person in your life that cant be bothered to reply to you? 
A lot of littles also have had bad experiences in the past with either men or other daddys, sadly a few bad eggs can ruin the bunch, it can really mess with a persons mind, and make it hard for them to properly connect with others. This isnt to say that their bad experiences should lead to them punishing you, when all you're trying to do is be kind and supportive of them, but its just another thing to kinda think about. (PS this works vise-versa, I'm just giving a Little perspective cus... I am one lol)

However, if someone suddenly goes quiet its probably a good idea to simply ask if they are alright, before jumping to assuming "im being ghosted" or "they arent putting in effort".
There have been times where I have been going through my own issues and haven't spoken to people for months at a time. Is that shitty of me? Yeah, honestly it is. But sometimes we have to prioritize ourselves, I usually put some kind of status on whatever media I'm using expressing I'm busy, so that nobody feels like they are being shut-out, but some people don't see this as enough of an explanation. Sometimes I don't wanna spill my guts to every person I'm talking to, sometimes I just need time to deal with my own issues and knowing you are there to support me IF I need it.
And in the end, I appreciate the people who silently support from a distance than those who pester. 

Id also like to add, I find a lot of people on these kind of forums like to move... fast.. and boy.. do I mean FAST. (Not all, but some, don't getcha panties in a twist xD)
It can take a long time to open up to someone and be able to maintain proper, solid, genuine conversations with people. Sometimes people need to push through the boring "how are you" "I'm good, how are you" empty chit chat so get to the person beneath the surface. Knowin someone 3 days and expecting them to reply instantly to every reply is loco coco in my books.

I can say from experience, the amount of times I have spoken to people and after 1 conversation they either 1) wanna be my daddy, like, NOW. or 2) wanna take the conversation down a deep dark alley (if you catch my drift)  is ... its a lot. Bad experiences can really make people reluctant to invest their efforts into a conversation when previous efforts have led to bad ends. And ofc I appreciate people being upfront and straight to the point, nothing wrong with expressing what you want out of a relationship/friendship etc, but to Expect that, is another thing. You may Want someone to reply fast, but to Expect it, is another thing, cus sometimes people just don't work that way. 

In the end we are all just trying to find like-minded people to get along with, if it develops into more then awesome, but I think its good to just take stuff slow and build from the basics to really get a strong connection with someone. Rushing into trying to be a persons partner or bestie can be a dangerous thread that's broken easily. You may find a person who has the same values and wants but that doesnt mean you should jump into stuff headfirst without getting to really know somebody.

Hope my 2 cents hasnt offended anyone, just trying to give another side to the conversation 
 

Edited October 13, 2021 by MintieSweetie

[DaddysMonkey]

I’m also a little….

Just popping my 2 cents in, a lot of littles (from my perspective) have mental health and other issues going on in life and it can sometimes cause them to either withdraw from socialization or simply make them too busy to keep up with conversations. Ofc every situation is different and there are ofc times when people just "cant be bothered" to respond, and that's a shame, but honestly, do you want a person in your life that cant be bothered to reply to you?

A lot of littles also have had bad experiences in the past with either men or other daddys, sadly a few bad eggs can ruin the bunch, it can really mess with a persons mind, and make it hard for them to properly connect with others. This isnt to say that their bad experiences should lead to them punishing you, when all you're trying to do is be kind and supportive of them, but its just another thing to kinda think about. (PS this works vise-versa, I'm just giving a Little perspective cus... I am one lol)

However, if someone suddenly goes quiet its probably a good idea to simply ask if they are alright, before jumping to assuming "im being ghosted" or "they arent putting in effort".

There have been times where I have been going through my own issues and haven't spoken to people for months at a time. Is that shitty of me? Yeah, honestly it is. But sometimes we have to prioritize ourselves, I usually put some kind of status on whatever media I'm using expressing I'm busy, so that nobody feels like they are being shut-out, but some people don't see this as enough of an explanation. Sometimes I don't wanna spill my guts to every person I'm talking to, sometimes I just need time to deal with my own issues and knowing you are there to support me IF I need it.

And in the end, I appreciate the people who silently support from a distance than those who pester.

Id also like to add, I find a lot of people on these kind of forums like to move... fast.. and boy.. do I mean FAST. (Not all, but some, don't getcha panties in a twist xD)

It can take a long time to open up to someone and be able to maintain proper, solid, genuine conversations with people. Sometimes people need to push through the boring "how are you" "I'm good, how are you" empty chit chat so get to the person beneath the surface. Knowin someone 3 days and expecting them to reply instantly to every reply is loco coco in my books.

I can say from experience, the amount of times I have spoken to people and after 1 conversation they either 1) wanna be my daddy, like, NOW. or 2) wanna take the conversation down a deep dark alley (if you catch my drift) is ... its a lot. Bad experiences can really make people reluctant to invest their efforts into a conversation when previous efforts have led to bad ends. And ofc I appreciate people being upfront and straight to the point, nothing wrong with expressing what you want out of a relationship/friendship etc, but to Expect that, is another thing. You may Want someone to reply fast, but to Expect it, is another thing, cus sometimes people just don't work that way.

In the end we are all just trying to find like-minded people to get along with, if it develops into more then awesome, but I think its good to just take stuff slow and build from the basics to really get a strong connection with someone. Rushing into trying to be a persons partner or bestie can be a dangerous thread that's broken easily. You may find a person who has the same values and wants but that doesnt mean you should jump into stuff headfirst without getting to really know somebody.

Hope my 2 cents hasnt offended anyone, just trying to give another side to the conversation

 

 

I’m also a little…. Just to clarify because it sounds as though you think / thought I am a caregiver for whatever reason saying you’re giving a littles perspective.

Edited October 13, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[MintieSweetie]

 

I’m also a little…. Just to clarify because it sounds as though you think / thought I am a caregiver for whatever reason saying you’re giving a littles perspective.

Oh no not at all, I was just adding my viewpoint, not directly replying to you specifically ❤ Sorry for the confusion

[DaddysMonkey]

Oh no not at all, I was just adding my viewpoint, not directly replying to you specifically ❤ Sorry for the confusion[/size]

Thank you for replying and no need to be sorry , I’m just being sensitive today for some reason! I always am mistaken for boy or caregiver so thank you for even replying !

[MintieSweetie]

Thank you for replying and no need to be sorry , I’m just being sensitive today for some reason! I always am mistaken for boy or caregiver so thank you for even replying !

You name has "Daddys" in it, youd think it would be obvious haha xD

[Guest LittleElizabethBun]

...redacted... Edited November 19, 2021 by LittleElizabethBun

[Lil Jam]

Exactly! this's one of the main reasons I rarely try to find friends or people to talk to, there's always this situation where they can't or don't want to start a conversation and I have to squeeze my mind just to come up with a topic to talk about. Also trying to know each other and what stuff you are interested in can help to finds topics, but most of the time the conversation ends before it even starts. like for me, I can't talk to someone and always being the one who asks or trying to start a conversation, 

 

I find that talking about other stuff outside the community might help, like I enjoy esports, politics, sports in general, and much more, such things can start a conversation for the whole night. 

 

In the end, it's about knowing the other person, and this lifestyle is just part of us - even if it's the bigger part- and knowing the other side is not a bad thing. 

 

idk if what I said makes sense but I had to get it out