No-no-notorious ~

[DaddysMonkey]

….. Hi. *waves*

 

My username isn’t just a username. I’ve been called Monkey for a very very long time and it all started with the family. What are Monkeys pretty much known for ? ….. being cheeky {:<

 

All my life I’ve been a cheeky thing and one of my favorite Monkey pass times is scaring people. It’s become part of who I am and I am notorious for it.. especially with Halloween coming up…. This is my time of the year. My goal every October is to scare as many people as I possibly can.

 

Even my customers know me for scaring them.. which probably sounds really mean but.. it’s all in good fun. Managing a vape shop has its perks like how relaxed it can be with the rules. The rules don’t say I’m NOT allowed to scare people. The entire front of the shop is all huge bay windows , but they’re extremely tinted so nobody can see inside the shop from outside …. But I can see all of my victims from inside. I always see regular customers pull up because I remember what cars they drive , I run over to the door as fast as I can and wait. As soon as the customer opens the door I make weird scary gurgling monster noises and wave some oogey boogey fingers at them. Some of them scream and stand completely still in fear , some of them put up fists like they’ll fight then shove me when they realize it’s just little old me :3 Others get so scared they run past me all the way to the juice counter hehe.

Customers aren’t my only victims , I like hazing new employees. I recently hired a new guy and his first week working with me I decided to see what kinda weight his nuts have by seeing how scared he gets. He went to the bathroom to go take a shit , so I waited about five minutes and sneakily tip toe up to the bathroom door. Silence , perfect. I grabbed the door handle and started violently shaking the door and slamming on it super hard and I heard him scream from inside the bathroom ! Lol. When he was done he came out looking disheveled and said I scared the rest of the poop out of him.

 

When people try to scare me ? Not much happens , people always try to get me back and I never really get spooked. I just stare at them like “ -______- that’s is ?” The one time someone actually got me pretty good was way back in highschool. Highschool boyfriend tried to scare me one time for revenge… When it comes to flight or fight I’m very much planting my feet and fighting. I had to pee really bad at his house and the bathroom was like three paces past his bedroom. When I was scurrying by his room to get to the bathroom he jumped out and screamed with a mask on his face… poor guy. My first reaction wasn’t to scream and run , I turned around and saw the ugly mask and my brain said “IMMEDIATE THREAT DESTROY IT”. So , without much thought process at all I just pulled back and launched my arm forward and socked him clear in the nose. BUT , I had to pee so I’m not gunna check on him. He fell to the ground bleeding and crying and I was just like “sorry gotta go pee!” I just left him there till I was done peeing.

 

You notorious for anything around your friends or family ?

Edited September 28, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I don't know if this counts - and it's somewhat embarrassing - but growing up, I was known for peeing in my pants whenever I was laughing really hard or tickled. Usually this would happen whenever my sister was joking around. Which is strange to think about, because now I can't even remember the last time she cracked me up or what I found so funny back then. But anyway, I didn't really feel actual shame over doing this, I just found it funny and maybe mildly annoying that my family would tease me about it, especially if it was after holding me down and tickling me. That was the only time I got pissed off about it. Boundaries, people. 

 

I had read that it's quite normal for girls/women to experience - even into their teens. When I got to adulthood, the "problem" entirely went away, until one day a few years ago which was a total fluke. I was with my hubby (now ex) and his friend in the car. I was sitting in the backseat, and they were talking about Kevin Bacon and we were joking around about something. I honestly can't remember what about. And I think my ex hubby made some joke and just the way he said it, made me and his friend burst out laughing and neither of us could stop. You know those times where you try so hard to stop laughing, and that just makes it even worse? It was one of those times. It wasn't even an intentionally funny thing. It was just funny. And surprise! I peed in my pants for the first time since being a teen. Perfect timing too -- being on the road and all lol. We stopped somewhere, and I took the ex hubby aside and told him what had happened. 

 

Anyway, then maybe a year or so later, I was trying to remember what we were specifically talking about that day that had made me laugh so hard, so ex hubby called up his friend to see if he could remember, and while he was giving him context, he was just like, "You remember that day when Tink peed in her pants?" And I just kind of glared at him, because his friend didn't know that I pissed my pants that day, and apparently ex hubby forgot that small detail! lol I did the biggest facepalm. Then he smoothly saved himself by the disclaimer that it is somewhat normal for women to do this while laughing hard lol. His friend is cool and me and him used to be semi-close, so I don't care that much, but it was mildly embarrassing lol. Now I just laugh about it. 

 

So yeah. That's my thing, I guess lol.