Hiatus and return and a huge vent

[Littlemisspenguin]

Hello. Hello to those I have known and those I haven't. I had to leave for a romance that literally turned sour and left me with a bad taste. So I guess this is my warning of me venting, if my title didn't give that away.

 

So a quick back story. We were together for quite some time and like most couples have our issues. Being online until a final meet up, trust issues on both sides from past relationships, blah blah blah. It's almost like story we all have hear so many times, haha.

 

Well of course we had arguments due to trust which I totally take fault for. It's never really that I didn't trust him, but I suffer from a long list of issues from the past. So needless to say I always need lots of reassurance. Well all of that aside and in the past for us things seemed alright. Then one day my mom fell I'll and was in the hospital receiving stents in her heart at the age of 48. So I was under a lot of stress and I won't lie, I needed lots of attention. Well all day was hit or miss with conversations and that melted into the night until I heard nothing. Then the next day he was spending his day with friends, which is typical but not a bad thing, and I felt totally left behind in my time of need. So of course this turned into an argument of being left in my time of need. Long story short without all the sad details he left me. In my time of need no less. His excuse was because of my lack of trust, when in reality it was because of my need to have him during a tough time.

 

Now, I would totally take ownership if it was about trust. I have nothing to hide, but this was about something completely different. If you wanted to leave because of trust, the time was a different fight totally related to that. I would have owned it even if it made me sad. Instead he used a cop out and left me while my mom was ill

And I wanted attention.

 

So needless to say my issues with trust and abandonment feels even stronger than ever. So I have been soul searching and maybe I just need some good friends. People who want to be surrounded by me and all my goofy chaos. For those who read all through this, thank you. Even if you don't respond I feel like I've been listened to.

[Kittykat83]

Oh that's crappy. I hope your mam is doing better and on the road to recovery.

 

 

I would say, (as an outsider so easy to say), chalk this relationship up as experience, try and look forward using lessons learnt from this. Taking it nice and slow looking for just friendships is a lovely way to start things and let's yourself heal from a sour ending relationship. Looking forward communication is always going to be the key and especially if you have these issues. But that is in the future, but for now hope you find the friendships that you want and well...... Welcome back!!

[Littlemisspenguin]

Thank you for the kind words. As an update my mom is doing much better.