idk anymore

[moonlightbae14]

hi,

 

i'm writing this because i'd like feedback from the community. it's not something i'd ever think to ask, i just wanna know why i get ghosted. even when making friends (whether here or on other platforms) i start a new friendship/relationship for a few months and then they slowly back up and talk to me less and less until i realize they've either un-added me, been deleted/blocked from the forum or blocked me. i do my best to talk and engage in conversation in order to keep things going. i'm not saying i literally try to force something- i just match the same energy i'm being given. i've recently been removed as a friend from snapchat and instagram-not tiktok yet. i apologized to him on tiktok if i did anything to upset him. i just genuinely don't know anymore. if it's not this, it's usually things from home that make my mental health worsen. i'm getting my therapist involved again so there's something i can look forward to and vent. i'd really appreciate some feedback. maybe i'm doing something wrong or saying the incorrect things. sending you guys love and light.

[(not) Narancia]

Hey. It's never nice being ghosted, but I'll try to give you some perspective and explain how it's not actually your fault.

 

Truth is, lots of people ghost because they don't want to deal with or create an awkward/uncomfortable situation. I'm not saying this is a good justification, but I'm willing to wager that's the reason most people ghost instead of some inherent malice.

 

With that being said, another reason I know people ghost is because they're either losing interest or already lost interest. The less interested they are in you and your friendship/relationship, the likelier they are to just pull out like nothing ever happened in the first place.

 

Unfortunately ghosting is practically an inescapable byproduct of getting to know people online and plays a pretty big role in people developing trust issues in general. I hope I'm not coming off as too rambly, but it's always sad to see people doubt their own social competence or even value because some clown couldn't just be honest.

 

All in all, ghosting sucks ass and I really hope you don't let that keep you from engaging with people who you like. Cheers

Edited September 13, 2021 by Narancia

[Guest LittleElizabethBun]

...redacted... Edited November 19, 2021 by LittleElizabethBun

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Yeah, if it's any consolation, it happens to the best of us. Even people who ghost get ghosted. And apparently it's more likely that a person will become a ghoster if they've been ghosted before. I'd say nine times out of ten, ghosting isn't personal. It's more of a reflection of the other person than it is you. Usually it's just a sign that the person is too emotionally unavailable or too busy in their life to invest much in any sort of relationship at the time, but don't fully become aware of this until they're in too deep. Or they bit off more than they could chew by talking to too many different people at once, and you either didn't make the cut, or they decided to cut off everybody in one fell swoop when they started becoming too overwhelmed. And it can still happen even if the person initiates things with you or claims they want a relationship/friendship. I think people think these things or say these things in moments, and perhaps a part of them does want it, but not as much as they think. And then the moment is gone.

 

The unfriending/blocking is going the extra mile though, and I think that could indicate some sort of resentment on their side, but it really depends on the person. It's too hard to say without knowing all the details. Overall, people who ghost, have a severe fear of confrontation or don't know how to deal with potential conflict situations, so they take the coward's way out instead of offering you an explanation. And so many people online won't think they owe you one because it's easier to dissociate online and forget that there's another human being behind the screen that you can still very much hurt by your words and actions. 

 

It's hard when the ghostee can't get closure on these things, because so many times, you just put the blame on yourself in the absence of an explanation, instead of realizing that it's not your fault. It's just unfortunately a common occurrence. Personally, I don't really consider it ghosting if it's only been a few days, but a few months (years at worst) into a friendship or relationship that was presumably on its way to being built? I think it's hard to say a person doesn't deserve an explanation in that case, unless the communication with these people was slim to none from the start.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Teasing Tink

[DaddyDom3238]

Hello, 

I am sorry that has happened and that it is still happening to you, if you are in this community or any online community for that matter this type of thing happens all the time. It is not a reflection of you, rather it is a reflection of the person that did the "ghosting." It is far easier for a person to ghost someone else then actually have a difficult conversation with them and part ways respectfully. 

Please do not take this to heart, I know that is easier send then done but it is the truth. It happens to both littles and Daddies all the time. 

 

Tyler